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Old 12-08-2013, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Man with a tan hat
799 posts, read 1,318,483 times
Reputation: 1444

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I am buying an apartment in an NYC co-op. Or trying. I just picked a place a few days ago and have an offer in. I have been looking for months.

I sent photos to my sibling who lives in Atlanta (as well as my other siblings) just as an FYI. I had also sent photos of a few others I was thinking about and she really liked a great one, but it just needed too much work (gutted), and though it was huge it was wayyy too expensive to make sense. She lives in a prefab suburban house with plenty of space that costs about 1/4 of what this apartment will cost.

I sent her my listing and said "hey this is the place I am going to make an offer on" and instead of just saying "congrats!" she went on and on about how she didn't like the kitchen. Admittedly, by prefab Atlanta house standards, its a small kitchen-- by Manhattan standards, its HUGE. It was redone two years ago and is extremely well designed with chef grade appliances.

She called me this morning to complain again about the kitchen. I gently let her know it was my choice and my apartment, and besides I don't cook much and don't need a ton of space. She then said "Well, I guess its your bad investment to have such a small place for so much money. I won't be visiting!" and basically hung up on me.

What???? what is wrong with this woman?
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Old 12-08-2013, 09:38 AM
 
Location: On the road
2,669 posts, read 1,981,092 times
Reputation: 2911
Having too much space spoils you. I have seen what y'all call a large apartment in the City. Here in Colorado we call those, 'closets'

But hey, it's in New York. I have friends in the City that wonder how we can deal with having so much space out here. My friend came out to visit, said his wife kept kept getting lost in the guest room.

Let her know that she is out of line, and just has no clue about living in the City. You would be OK with her not coming up there and embarrassing you, anyway.
Besides, It's her problem, not yours.

Hope you get the place.
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Old 12-08-2013, 09:39 AM
 
4,787 posts, read 9,305,892 times
Reputation: 12632
She wanted you to buy the one she liked- the one that needed to be gutted. You aren't doing what she wanted you to do, so now she's sulking.

Let it go. She's not going to take joy in your purchase because she's not in control and you'll only upset yourself worrying about her reaction.

Good luck on your new co-op. And yes, NYC kitchens are little.
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Old 12-08-2013, 09:41 AM
 
3,752 posts, read 9,606,989 times
Reputation: 7044
She very simply is applying Atlanta standards to NYC. NYC is such a totally different environment that almost anyone cringes when seeing what NY residents pay for housing of any type.

She just is clueless how her attitude is coming across.
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Old 12-08-2013, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Man with a tan hat
799 posts, read 1,318,483 times
Reputation: 1444
Quote:
Originally Posted by willow wind View Post
She wanted you to buy the one she liked- the one that needed to be gutted. You aren't doing what she wanted you to do, so now she's sulking.

Let it go. She's not going to take joy in your purchase because she's not in control and you'll only upset yourself worrying about her reaction.

Good luck on your new co-op. And yes, NYC kitchens are little.
Correct on all counts.

I guess I should consider the source. She has some boundary issues and is very competitive. Something about this purchase of mine seems to be making her insecure. When she bought her house I was very happy for her though its NOTHING I would ever consider living in.
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Old 12-08-2013, 09:46 AM
 
Location: Man with a tan hat
799 posts, read 1,318,483 times
Reputation: 1444
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetana3 View Post
She very simply is applying Atlanta standards to NYC. NYC is such a totally different environment that almost anyone cringes when seeing what NY residents pay for housing of any type.

She just is clueless how her attitude is coming across.
She is from the Bronx, as am I. We grew up in a tiny place in a bad neighborhood. When we were little, we used to dream about living in one of the great pre-war buildings in Manhattan-- she knows EXACTLY what real estate is like here and chose to live in the 'burbs of Atlanta. No harm there-- just her choice. I wouldn't make the same one, but think its great for her.

This building where the co-op is located is fantastic. The apartment is about 750 square feet which (again) for the location is huge. The price is right. The place is beautifully renovated.
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Old 12-08-2013, 10:43 AM
 
Location: Missouri
6,047 posts, read 21,657,642 times
Reputation: 5052
Enjoy your new place and don't let sis rain on your parade.
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Old 12-08-2013, 12:26 PM
 
Location: CO
2,455 posts, read 2,627,204 times
Reputation: 5199
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatisthedealwith View Post
She is from the Bronx, as am I. We grew up in a tiny place in a bad neighborhood. When we were little, we used to dream about living in one of the great pre-war buildings in Manhattan-- she knows EXACTLY what real estate is like here and chose to live in the 'burbs of Atlanta.
She didn't follow her dream from when you were little, and now you haven't either. You have deprived her of the chance to live vicariously through you.
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Old 12-08-2013, 12:56 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,179,255 times
Reputation: 22373
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost Roses View Post
She didn't follow her dream from when you were little, and now you haven't either. You have deprived her of the chance to live vicariously through you.
^ ^ ^ I think there may be a lot of truth in this statement!!!

Your sister should not be negative about a deal that has already been done, so to speak, unless she is helping you buy the place! Her comments were hurtful and have to do with other issues . . .

I just wish you could have told your sister "GOOD!!!" when she said she wouldn't be coming to visit. She needs to stay out of your business and you need to stop including her in your life decisions, even as an FYI. She harbors some kind of animosity towards you. Your new digs are not the problem . . . her attitude towards you and your life is the problem.
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Old 12-08-2013, 01:08 PM
 
Location: Tucson for awhile longer
8,872 posts, read 13,557,559 times
Reputation: 29033
Quote:
Originally Posted by whatisthedealwith View Post
Correct on all counts.

I guess I should consider the source. She has some boundary issues and is very competitive. Something about this purchase of mine seems to be making her insecure. When she bought her house I was very happy for her though its NOTHING I would ever consider living in.
Perhaps imagining you getting settled in New York has her questioning decisions she has made in her past. No matter how nice, a southern suburban home is quite a different lifestyle from a the buzz of a Manhattan co-op. That's certainly no excuse for her rudeness but it would explain this particular incident. Her saying that she won't ever visit is not about the kitchen. It's her subconscious saying, "OMG, this is really happening. If I see this place in person I'll have a jealousy meltdown."
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