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My thoughts also. It fall under the "hint gift" category. They are saying, we know you aren't christian, you know we are. We've got it right and you've got it wrong. This is what you need. The appropriate and respectful thing is to realize we are adults with our own beliefs. I don't tell him, that I think he is a religious nut. I think that, but I am respectful enough not to say so.
That goes both ways and with the OP's comment about how "they" know she's not religous, plus the previous "work of fiction" comment made in this thread, I'm guessing there has been an ongoing heated exchange that this is just a part of. I'm guessing the Bible didn't just come on as an afterthought. My main pieceof advice remains the same to the OP -- move on.
I'm obviously not religious. I never go to church. My brother and family are very religious. He had to mail me something and sent a bible in the package too.
I find this highly inappropriate and kind of creepy. We don't really talk because he is someone I have just been tolerating and I got tired of wasting my energy on keeping up relationships I don't enjoy. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do. I haven't said anything about it, but I feel a little harassed, since it's obviously unwanted contact, that is being pushed on me. I find this disrespectful and condescending. How do I keep this kind of thing from happening again?
He sent a gift representing what is deeply important to him to someone he cares deeply about.
It appears he is trying to bridge the gap that has been created between you. I don't agree with my brother on everything, but I also don't look for reasons to be insulted by anything he does.
The gift could have been as simple a gesture as trying to reach out to you and show you he still cares about you as his brother.
If you wish to crap on that, your choice, but it won't hurt him because you have already proven he isn't important to you so it isn't new information, just sad.
Why not lay aside your anger and angst and actually talk to him in a civil manner? Perhaps meet for a lunch at a neutral place?
You are still brothers no matter how much you wish to be alone now, you may change your mind in the future so why burn bridges that don't need burning?
You are going to do whatever you want no matter what someone posts on an internet board, I just hope you make your decisions based on your family not on your political ideology.
Im not religous either but if someone gave me a bible, I would say thank you and not care.
There is more to your story than just being another angry athiest.
I suppose it's a history of having things shoved down my throat and growing up around people who look down on other people. It's not just religion. It's a pattern of family members giving unsolicited advice and judgement when not asked for. Even things like mentioning a small weight gain or bad skin. It's just rude. Why would I expose myself to that.
I'm obviously not religious. I never go to church. My brother and family are very religious. He had to mail me something and sent a bible in the package too.
I find this highly inappropriate and kind of creepy. We don't really talk because he is someone I have just been tolerating and I got tired of wasting my energy on keeping up relationships I don't enjoy. Anyway, I'm not sure what to do. I haven't said anything about it, but I feel a little harassed, since it's obviously unwanted contact, that is being pushed on me. I find this disrespectful and condescending. How do I keep this kind of thing from happening again?
you don't have to be religious to read the bible. if you've never read it, i suggest reading it just for the education aspect of knowing what's in it. i'm not very religious as an adult, but i spent 12 years in catholic/jesuit school. studying religion is not very different from studying philosophy. so if you enjoy philosophy, you might enjoy reading religious text as well.
who cares why he sent it, it's done. read it then donate it.
He sent a gift representing what is deeply important to him to someone he cares deeply about.
Ya know, I'll never understand that approach to gift-giving (the part I put in bold and underline).
My thinking is that if I care deeply about someone, I know what's important to that person and send something I think that person will use, enjoy, or appreciate, not something I would want or that I think the person should use.
Gift-giving is about the recipient, not the giver.
Ya know, I'll never understand that approach to gift-giving (the part I put in bold and underline).
My thinking is that if I care deeply about someone, I know what's important to that person and send something I think that person will use, enjoy, or appreciate, not something I would want or that I think the person should use.
Gift-giving is about the recipient, not the giver.
Absolutely! Gifts should be thoughtful and appropriate. Evidently someone hasn't taken the time to think about what the other person would like.
I find this whole incident very passive-aggressive. And why should the OP read a book 100s of pages long that he already knows he has no interest in?
Ya know, I'll never understand that approach to gift-giving (the part I put in bold and underline).
My thinking is that if I care deeply about someone, I know what's important to that person and send something I think that person will use, enjoy, or appreciate, not something I would want or that I think the person should use.
Gift-giving is about the recipient, not the giver.
It depends on the message you are sending to the reciever. If you are just sending a gift (holiday or birthday, graduation etc.) then yes, something useful to that person is completely appropriate.
However, if you are trying to establish communications with another person, the gift that represents something you hold dear reflects to the person how much they mean to you.
The value of this kind of gift isn't how much it cost, but the emotional value to demonstrate that person is as important to you as the representative gift you send.
It appears though that family isn't important to the OP, and emotional gifts apparently are trumped by higher priced gifts these days, so the point is moot.
I do hope this explains why people sometimes send gifts that may not make sense to the reciever, they mean a lot to the giver.
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