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Old 12-15-2013, 10:24 PM
 
5,703 posts, read 16,122,397 times
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Apparently, I am viewed as a pushover. Many times I've heard, "You are too nice!"
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Old 12-15-2013, 10:30 PM
 
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When I retired from work, they asked people what their opinion of me was and they almost to a person said smart, kind, helpful, hard working... And my wife thinks the same way..

But I am adventurous, some times a bit of a risk taker, an Ogre (as in I can get angry), and inventive.. Yet no one sees me that way even thought they know I am these things also...

So don't take to heart too much what people say about you... They are seeing you as they want to....
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Old 12-16-2013, 02:08 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,243 posts, read 7,854,096 times
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John says I'm type A, impatient, and over bearing. He forgot neat freak, control freak and miserly.
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Old 12-16-2013, 05:10 AM
 
4,750 posts, read 3,478,460 times
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Impatient, kind-hearted, fatass.
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Old 12-16-2013, 09:01 AM
 
912 posts, read 1,244,189 times
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I'm laughing, because if I asked my husband that, he would get a "deer in headlights" look on his face. He is one of the greatest people I've ever met, and has so many wonderful qualities, but "expressing himself verbally" is NOT one of them. He routinely and accidentally puts his foot in his mouth, though he does realize when it happens.

So yeah, if I asked my husband this, I would either get a "safe" sweet answer or something unintentionally insulting. No worries. I know he loves me.
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,105 posts, read 7,218,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fallingwater View Post
Apparently, I am viewed as a pushover. Many times I've heard, "You are too nice!"
I get this one too along with helpful and I hate it. I see myself as brainy, creative, funny and enterprising.
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:25 AM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 66,998,726 times
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Don't feel bad. A similar conversation took place between hubby and myself and he told me he loves me dearly but if he had met me the way I look today (older, fatter) he would not have even asked me out.

He is very superficial about such things and I knew when he married me that part of the reason he was so enamored was b/c I looked good. It was his ego at work -- he just liked having a good looking woman on his arm, lol.

It wasn't a shock but it hurt my feelings b/c I am not that awful looking now (even with the added pounds) and it isn't as though he has aged better than I have. He has serious health issues and he looks worn and at least 10 years older than he is. Yet, I would still be attracted to him b/c of his personality, intelligence, wit, etc.

Men are just insensitive about the way they express themselves sometimes, I think.
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,403 posts, read 52,384,520 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
Last night, my husband and I were watching a movie.

After the movie, I asked him to describe me in 3 words (or sentences) - his answer really surprised me and it basically depressed me all night. I expected something like "sensitive, kind, etc" but what I got was "hard working" and after a long pause "loves our dogs".....

I asked our son today what he thought and he said "thoughtful, helps others and works hard" - So, I felt slightly vindicated but it got me thinking.

Relationships are really important to me and I was rather shocked at my husband's first words.

Maybe ask around....
What you think is important in another person may not be what your husband thinks is important.
He obviously values and prioritizes your work ethic and appreciation for animals.

I have often found in many of my romantic relationships that the qualities I am trying the hardest to cultivate are not the ones that people have been attracted to.



To answer your question overall, judging by the fact that I am often surprised when people say they admire me or tell me I'm their favorite (this is at work), I obviously don't think people think much of me. But I also acknowledge this is because I am extremely self-critical.
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Old 12-16-2013, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,105 posts, read 7,218,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinkmani View Post
Impatient, kind-hearted, fatass.
Roseanne Barr, thank you for joining today's forum.
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Old 12-16-2013, 03:05 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,105 posts, read 7,218,519 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stagemomma View Post
I second the recommendation of this book. Not a big fan of too many self-help books, but this one explained well many misunderstandings I had with a number of people in my life, not romantic relationships exclusively. I learned it was more important for me to have someone do things around the house rather than be given gifts. I only wish I read this book when I was younger. And everybody considering doing the online dating thing should read it as a pre-requisite, because you will write a better profile and be able to read through the profiles better for a match.
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