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Old 12-16-2013, 03:19 PM
 
35,108 posts, read 40,221,218 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
I got sad inside - because I'm aware I work hard - because I have to - and it has a lot to do with my husband that I have to - but anyway, doing it and all OK - but I want to be known for more than "working hard" - the "loves animals" bit I'm more OK with because there's feeling in there - but to just remembered as a hard worker hurt my feelings (uh, there's that sensitive word!)

So, it caused me to question myself - I guess I just want people to see me differently; like more fun - thoughtful is fine (from my son which is the first word he thought of) but if I were not here, I wouldn't want people just saying "Oh yeah, she was a hard worker" and just be remembered for that.

OK - this was a Hallmark movie (points to my husband for sitting 30 minutes with me watching this) - the character had a Christmas Eve "game" to play where everyone writes a positive comment about each other and then Person A has 4 comments in her cup (she opens them and read them), then Person B (4 comments), etc. He saw this scene - very warm & fuzzy and thoughtful, kind comments. Then, fast forward, same girl is at a different home (her fiancé) and her family (very stiff, wealthy) are just sitting there not knowing what do. She opens her comments there and the one from her fiancé says (she is a multi-millionaire) and then the fiancé explains the "surprise" which is not taken well by the girl.

After that scene, long commercial so I said to my husband - "Wow, look at the differences in the 2 families - he noticed that too - and I said, what would the comments be if I asked you to do such a game?" (That's where the "hard worker" and long pause "loves our animals" come in).

So, I felt let down especially someone I'm very close to and who I consider to be a kind, considerate person and someone who I have a lot in common with.

That movie is "A Very Merry Mix Up" and it is a MOVIE, those answers are in the script and have to be said because it is not only a movie it is a CHEESY CHRISTMAS MOVIE as in a feel good, christmas magic, you can have it all including the fairytale love at first sight perfect relationship.

You should never ask a question you don't want the true answer to but that answer can change at any moment depending on the situation.

A few days ago if I had asked my husband that question he could have said "Beach, Beach and Beach" and he would have been exactly right and that answer was perfect for that moment.

If you want your life to be like a movie or a television program go be in the movies or on a television program, otherwise be grateful your husband didn't say you are a "burden, lazy and a trollop" that he should have never married and had a child with.
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Old 12-16-2013, 03:20 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 14,431,784 times
Reputation: 36811
As Pierce Brosnan. LOL! Just kidding.

As gentle, kind, wise, good looking, and so many other wonderful things!
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Old 12-16-2013, 06:49 PM
 
Location: Boca Raton, FL
5,170 posts, read 8,691,075 times
Reputation: 6167
Smile I was just surprised.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
That movie is "A Very Merry Mix Up" and it is a MOVIE, those answers are in the script and have to be said because it is not only a movie it is a CHEESY CHRISTMAS MOVIE as in a feel good, christmas magic, you can have it all including the fairytale love at first sight perfect relationship.

You should never ask a question you don't want the true answer to but that answer can change at any moment depending on the situation.

A few days ago if I had asked my husband that question he could have said "Beach, Beach and Beach" and he would have been exactly right and that answer was perfect for that moment.

If you want your life to be like a movie or a television program go be in the movies or on a television program, otherwise be grateful your husband didn't say you are a "burden, lazy and a trollop" that he should have never married and had a child with.
As I mentioned before, I'm pretty close to my husband; we drive to work together each day and go home at the same time at night; he knows me pretty well. We were discussing the scene in the movie which actually did make me feel good - the movie, that is. I had a long day and was a little discouraged on a couple of things. Since we discussed the scene, I thought, well, I really thought, I'd get a different answer. Just a bit disappointed b/c if he sees me like that, no wonder I don't have more invitations to social events (that's a LOL one).

Even one of my sisters said to me (years ago) - well, we never thought to invite you b/c you'd be working. (Well, give me a chance to say no).

Everything I'm invited to, I try to go to.

IOW, if he sees me like that, then others see me probably about the same and that makes me really sad.
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Old 12-16-2013, 06:57 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,068 posts, read 14,431,784 times
Reputation: 36811
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
As I mentioned before, I'm pretty close to my husband; we drive to work together each day and go home at the same time at night; he knows me pretty well. We were discussing the scene in the movie which actually did make me feel good - the movie, that is. I had a long day and was a little discouraged on a couple of things. Since we discussed the scene, I thought, well, I really thought, I'd get a different answer. Just a bit disappointed b/c if he sees me like that, no wonder I don't have more invitations to social events (that's a LOL one).

Even one of my sisters said to me (years ago) - well, we never thought to invite you b/c you'd be working. (Well, give me a chance to say no).

Everything I'm invited to, I try to go to.

IOW, if he sees me like that, then others see me probably about the same and that makes me really sad.
Change is always possible. Perhaps (if you are able) cut back a little on work, to highlight your other strengths?

Then after a little while, pose the question again.
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Old 12-16-2013, 07:21 PM
 
222 posts, read 590,331 times
Reputation: 265
Please don't take this game so seriously. My husband hates these kinds of questions, too. When I ask my husband questions like these, he feels like he's being put on the spot. Also, I ask him to take a personality quiz, he quickly becomes bored. I think activities like this appeal more to women than to men.
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:22 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,552 posts, read 52,647,623 times
Reputation: 70801
HEY!
No dogging on that movie.
It has been the best Hallmark Saturday night xmas movie so far!
The rest have been pretty terrible.

Btw, I told my wife about the game and we're gonna play it this xmas with my family.
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:34 AM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,826,673 times
Reputation: 25432
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
HEY!
No dogging on that movie.
It has been the best Hallmark Saturday night xmas movie so far!
The rest have been pretty terrible.

Btw, I told my wife about the game and we're gonna play it this xmas with my family.
Obviously, I don't know your family. But that sounds like a really, really bad idea. Especially if you're drinking. My unsolicited advice is stick to Monopoly and charades.
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:38 AM
 
Location: Texas
43,552 posts, read 52,647,623 times
Reputation: 70801
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow View Post
Obviously, I don't know your family. But that sounds like a really, really bad idea. Especially if you're drinking. My unsolicited advice is stick to Monopoly and charades.
My family is pretty sweet.
There won't be an issue.
We don't have holiday drama. We don't have drama, period.
Everyone just gets along.
I know. What a concept.
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:42 AM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,826,673 times
Reputation: 25432
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bette View Post
As I mentioned before, I'm pretty close to my husband; we drive to work together each day and go home at the same time at night; he knows me pretty well. We were discussing the scene in the movie which actually did make me feel good - the movie, that is. I had a long day and was a little discouraged on a couple of things. Since we discussed the scene, I thought, well, I really thought, I'd get a different answer. Just a bit disappointed b/c if he sees me like that, no wonder I don't have more invitations to social events (that's a LOL one).

Even one of my sisters said to me (years ago) - well, we never thought to invite you b/c you'd be working. (Well, give me a chance to say no).

Everything I'm invited to, I try to go to.

IOW, if he sees me like that, then others see me probably about the same and that makes me really sad.
As others have said, it's a MOVIE. That's like me being mad at my husband because he doesn't gaze at me like Captain Von Trappe gazes at Maria in The Sound of Music. (Which I was, for a while....)

There's nothing wrong with being described as a hard worker who loves animals. In fact, I think that's a pretty glowing description. I told my husband the other day that at my eulogy I want someone to say, "she worked her a** off." And loving dogs also says you're compassionate, caring and put others' needs before your own.

In any case, it's not fair to compare your husband's comments to something an actor said in a movie. It's just unrealistic.
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Old 12-17-2013, 08:44 AM
 
15,254 posts, read 16,826,673 times
Reputation: 25432
Quote:
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
My family is pretty sweet.
There won't be an issue.
We don't have holiday drama. We don't have drama, period.
Everyone just gets along.
I know. What a concept.
We get along, too. But still... It would make me nervous. Have fun with it though!
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