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Old 12-25-2013, 10:47 AM
 
8,570 posts, read 2,666,793 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela View Post
I don't know about you but in addition to all the other worrisome aspects of the holidays one of the harder things, for me anyway, is judging myself, comparing my life, feeling judged, to and by all those others who seem to deeply and happily embedded in their family and friends lives even if those lives are hardly Hallmark quality. It makes me feel like such a failure.

If you have any related issues or emotions lets pledge to give ourselves a bit of a break.

In spite of our no families, toxic families, crippling introversion, no idea what the issue is, or whatever have you...... Whether we prefer a holiday with our pets and library books or whether we yearn for family we don't have....its ok to be who we are
Love this! Too many expectations for the holidays. Cheers to you Giesela for a peaceful and restful holiday!
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Old 12-25-2013, 11:01 AM
 
7,305 posts, read 11,455,724 times
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I think being alone one year is fine.

There are some years I would have liked to be alone.

I think you are alone year after year, then it is unfortunate.

What is the reason? You never got along with your parents or siblings?
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Old 12-25-2013, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
14,197 posts, read 7,831,836 times
Reputation: 53083
This is the first Christmas that we've spent both days together in over ten years. We had a friend over and between the three of us we polished off two bottles of some really good bubbly. We got into some really intense discussions and my friend said that I was irritating her and I told her that she could be a real ahole. It's the holidays alright, but the difference is that we have mutual respect for each other and neither of us was mad. I think sometimes families forget about the respect issue and fall back into the family dynamics of their youth. The best part of Christmas Eve was still the two of us later on by candle light
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Old 12-25-2013, 11:53 AM
 
Location: Florida
4,475 posts, read 3,860,780 times
Reputation: 9851
This is the first xmas in a long time that we have not gone to anyone's home today.


It's nice!
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Old 12-25-2013, 06:19 PM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,755 posts, read 18,635,780 times
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Oh I just love the people who come up to you and say "Hey what are you doing for christmas ? " I answer nothing we are broke . Hey I pay my bills and buy food and we are broke . we are broke every christmas because I believe in paying my bills and not foregoing them for christmas ...I have known people to put off paying their bills in order to buy christmas and then the rest of the year they are catching up . No thank you .
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Old 12-25-2013, 08:14 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,130 posts, read 39,664,629 times
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I sometimes long for when in the future where we move out of state. I think it would be nice to not have to deal with seeing relatives during the holidays, but then I think maybe if we're too alone that might not be so great either, so, I don't know..... I guess I should be happy that we have some family, I always vacillate on this subject though.
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Old 12-25-2013, 08:38 PM
 
Location: Inception
960 posts, read 2,248,229 times
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Default 2 down...1 more to go (NYE)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Giesela View Post
In spite of our no families, toxic families, crippling introversion, no idea what the issue is, or whatever have you...... Whether we prefer a holiday with our pets and library books or whether we yearn for family we don't have....its ok to be who we are
I raise my spoon full of pie + ice cream to toast to that!

I'm challenging myself to think outside the box next year. Why sit alone and at home in the cold and go through the same issues in my mind year over year? For holidays that are based around family bonding, I should use as an opportunity to travel.

That said, this year was not so bad. I made the majority of my holiday calls on Eve. I sent texts to those I needed to avoid altogether. Today was okay...
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Old 12-25-2013, 08:44 PM
 
Location: So Cal
40,130 posts, read 39,664,629 times
Reputation: 41560
Quote:
Originally Posted by cityhopper View Post
I raise my spoon full of pie + ice cream to toast to that!

I'm challenging myself to think outside the box next year. Why sit alone and at home in the cold and go through the same issues in my mind year over year? For holidays that are based around family bonding, I should use as an opportunity to travel.

That said, this year was not so bad. I made the majority of my holiday calls on Eve. I sent texts to those I needed to avoid altogether. Today was okay...

My supervisor at work doesn't have many friends and doesn't have a wife or kids or even his extended family are out of state. He was talking about doing a vegas trip during the holidays.

Sounds good to me.....if I were alone.
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Old 12-25-2013, 11:54 PM
 
Location: Kansas City Metro
203 posts, read 429,527 times
Reputation: 662
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba View Post
I think being alone one year is fine.

There are some years I would have liked to be alone.

I think you are alone year after year, then it is unfortunate.

What is the reason? You never got along with your parents or siblings?
I am hoping what you wrote wasn't meant as totally insensitive as it sounded to me. My reasons? Cheating husband, now divorced, and MY parents and siblings are DEAD. Some of us have no say or much of a choice.
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Old 12-26-2013, 12:53 AM
 
Location: CO/UT/AZ/NM Catch me if you can!
4,693 posts, read 4,315,129 times
Reputation: 10256
Quote:
Originally Posted by Adoptstrays View Post
I am hoping what you wrote wasn't meant as totally insensitive as it sounded to me. My reasons? Cheating husband, now divorced, and MY parents and siblings are DEAD. Some of us have no say or much of a choice.
Yep, that's me too except I was an only child - never had sibs. I wasn't able to have children either, so my family now is just me and my two fur babies.
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