For those of us with few family or friends this holiday season (wife, present)
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I don't know about you but in addition to all the other worrisome aspects of the holidays one of the harder things, for me anyway, is judging myself, comparing my life, feeling judged, to and by all those others who seem to deeply and happily embedded in their family and friends lives even if those lives are hardly Hallmark quality. It makes me feel like such a failure.
If you have any related issues or emotions lets pledge to give ourselves a bit of a break.
In spite of our no families, toxic families, crippling introversion, no idea what the issue is, or whatever have you...... Whether we prefer a holiday with our pets and library books or whether we yearn for family we don't have....its ok to be who we are
You most definitely are not alone! I wouldn't be surprised to learn there are more unhappy people/family fights during the holiday season than there are so-called happy people.
As far as comparing yourself; I used to do that as well, and all that accomplished was to bring me down even more. Don't ask me why or how or exactly when my thinking changed; however, at some point I realized that we are all unique and those who appear to be successful and Hallmark happy may not be.
Once I began to approve of myself and accept myself for who I am, my thoughts about how others live their lives vanished. And it was a huge relief and the emotional burden was lifted.
None of us know what goes on behind closed doors; anyone can present as having a wonderful life.
You are definitely not alone. I will be spending Christmas Day with ONLY my dogs. But I'm okay with it. This is how I have spent most of the last five Christmases. I hope to find someone special one day who will help change all that.
Christmas is my day to be alone and peaceful (its easy bec
others are involved! Yay! No calls)
I do have Xmas Eve parties and after Xmas parties with hiking.
I never care what others think, don't conform too much to anything.
Ah, I love me and God REALLY loves me.
The other bozos can live in their judgmental minds while I am free and happy!
Notice how I didn't conform and still wrote Xmas...ha!
If anything, I envy you somewhat. I don't like/get on with my family, and for my own peace I steer clear from them. they're too much trouble then it's worth, as they are very judgmental, subjective, selfish and demanding.
but then I can't change others, and I am me, so it's best to disengage sometimes
I know. I don't have much family to begin with, but we've had some serious family problems this month and I'm not particularly looking forward to it either. I just have to see how it goes.
I don't know about you but in addition to all the other worrisome aspects of the holidays one of the harder things, for me anyway, is judging myself, comparing my life, feeling judged, to and by all those others who seem to deeply and happily embedded in their family and friends lives even if those lives are hardly Hallmark quality. It makes me feel like such a failure.
If you have any related issues or emotions lets pledge to give ourselves a bit of a break.
In spite of our no families, toxic families, crippling introversion, no idea what the issue is, or whatever have you...... Whether we prefer a holiday with our pets and library books or whether we yearn for family we don't have....its ok to be who we are
For many we will be alone just because family grew older and some moved. My son who still "lives with us" will be here in the morning but I am sure will spend most of his day with his fiance . Older sister has moved away and will be spending it with her family. The unfortunate thing is we are estranged from my wife's oldest son who does live close. The lights are up. Tree is decorated and we surely will eat well.
My wife's extended family has invited us to her annual Holiday get together. It will be the same group we just saw on Thanksgiving. There is really nothing new to say to these people from just a few weeks ago.
On Thanksgiving while we portrayed the perfect American family and the neighbors sitting alone likely were envious of us for being with such a large attractive, successful group of people, the reality was far different. The conversation was strained, with lots of long difficult silences, intermixed with inane comments to try to get the conversation going again. When that failed, people turned to their SmartPhones or watching TV. A number of the relatives spent much of the event reading days old newspapers magazines to kill time. It was both awkward and boring. I doubt tomorrow will be any better. Merry Christmas!
...In spite of our no families, toxic families, crippling introversion, no idea what the issue is, or whatever have you...... Whether we prefer a holiday with our pets and library books or whether we yearn for family we don't have....its ok to be who we are
I think it starts out with "it's ok to be who we are" every day. Then Christmas, or whatever, assume their proper size in life, 24 hours.
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