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My MIL and I have a strained relationship, sadly. Not sure what the cause was, but she is unwilling to acknowledge anything that I do well in life in my presence, and likes to point out everything she thinks that I do wrong. (I'm a member of the male species, for reference.) I have long ago recognized that I'll never be smart enough, skilled enough, talented enough, etc for her.
But, she apparantly really enjoys seeing the photographs that I take and post of Facebook. I'm an amateur photographer but my work has been exhibited in galleries and won awards, so it's better than the average photos. And I hear through the grapevine that she enjoys them and likes seeing them. When I'm around, she goes stone cold silent about them and refuses to ever say anything nice or allude that she enjoys them.
It's gotten much worse and this last Christmas I don't think I heard one thing that she enjoyed about me being married to her daughter, and worse, started comparing me to other people in her family and alluding that I wasn't as smart or as skilled as those other people.
So, I'm now faced with a delima: Do I continue to share pictures that I take with her, because I know that she enjoys them even if she cannot bring herself to acknowledge that she enjoys them? Or, do I stop sharing because I prefer to share things with those who are able to acknowledge their enjoyment as appropriate?
You lose nothing by sharing and it does keep your photography in front of her. If she did things like post negative comments to the photos I would delete or defriend her but otherwise, there is nothing but positive things here.
I would suggest that you ignore her. What is the saying "sticks and stones...... Dont listen to gossip by others too.
My husband tells me that his parents are in their 80s and are not going to change for me. He grabs me and we take a long walk whenever the irritation builds. So get yourself out of her presence and let her daughter take care of her.
Have you ever had a conversation with her about her comments and how they make you feel? Sure, it will be difficult but it might solve some of your problems. Or you could simply speak up and tell her to stop with the put downs.
Why don't you be the bigger person and keep doing what you're doing? She's the one putting you down. You could confront her about it, but probably the best course of action is to do nothing unless you have kids and she bac talks you in front of them.
The civility you maintain with your MIL is for your wife's sake. Not your MIL's. So think of any ugly thing you do to that woman to be a stab against your wife. She's not saying rude things about them. She's simply saying nothing and telling others she enjoys them. Just roll your eyes, think, "She's such a weirdo," and continue posting them as you have been. Be the better person for your wife's sake and don't do anything to make the situation harder on your wife than it probably already is. To restrict the photos from her mother just to be catty sounds like something a preteen girl would do, and there's already one person in the equation behaving like that--don't volunteer to be the second.
The civility you maintain with your MIL is for your wife's sake. Not your MIL's.
Your thread hit a cord with me as I am also having a strained relationship with my MIL.
I agree with kitkatbar in that you should do things for your wife's sake and not your MIL.
It sounds like from your post that you are sharing photos on your FB page (publicly or your "friends") so it would be "extra work" for you to exclude your MIL from seeing these pictures. Let me know if my assumptions are wrong.
If your MIL were on FB making negative or inappropriate comments about your pictures, I would definitely exclude her from seeing your pictures. But it sounds like she looks at your photos and doesn't say anything about them on FB and/or to your face about them.
If you MIL were asking you to take pictures of herself (or special favors taking you away from paying work), and then being disrespectful, then it would be a different situation.
It sounds like neither of the last 2 scenarios I described fit your case. Sorry, but it sounds like I'm taking the "it could be worse approach" here. But I understand your standpoint of, "I have my limits of being the bigger person." Because I feel exactly the same way about my MIL.
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