Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The money should not have been taken from the college fund to begin with and certainly not left unrepaid for six years. Too much time may have passed.
I do believe one should be able to loan money to friends and family without it being a gift. I have lent and borrowed from family, we just agreed on a payment plan from the beginning. It would have caused major problems if anyone didn't repay the loans so it's just a matter of being honest and following through on your promise/contract. Family members who would take advantage are no different than any other deadbeats except they are victimizing their own relatives. It's pretty disgusting.
I say cut your losses and spend time with your own family (Your kids). Sorry to have parents that don't see it the same way as you do. Better to learn from their mistakes and create a better life for your own family. In the end it will be their loss.
Today I've been told my mother has announced to our family she has disowned me. The reason: I asked my parents to begin paying back a $5,000. Loan I gave them over 6 years ago from my sons college fund. I asked for a meeting to discuss paying $5.00-$20.00 per week. My father is 68 and works over 50 hours per week, my mother doesn't work but goes to the casino weekly. I am so distraught that I am only worth that amount to her that she would rather walk away than discuss it. I also paid over several thousand dollars in bills for them and took them on an all-paid cruise 3 years ago, that she has suddenly forgotten. This is tearing apart our family.
Any advice
And there lies the problem...the casino.
Reminds me of when my girlfriends son got married on Thanksgiving weekend. We went down to the brides area for the wedding and going out with her extended family for thanksgiving dinner. Not an expensive place at all. The bill comes and the father of the bride whips out his calculator and divvies up the bill...to us, to his terminally ill mother in law, to his brain damaged sister in law, and to all others at the table.
He collects the money and pays the bill. Im thinking the man is retired, has two full pensions and he cant pick up a $250 bill for his soon to be married daughters thanksgiving dinner.
We exit the restaurant, he shouts out. Anyone want to join me at the casino.
Considering how much money THEY spent on you from the time you were born to now..... you infact owe THEM instead of them owing you.
She did not ask to be born, and it was the parent responsibility
to take care of her until she was old enough to be on he own including
the cost to raise her which is not a loan to be paid back.
The money she loaned the parents is to be paid back
or they should have never borrowed they money saying they would pay it back.
The parents are wrong, and owe the daughter the money ! ! !
Today I've been told my mother has announced to our family she has disowned me. The reason: I asked my parents to begin paying back a $5,000. Loan I gave them over 6 years ago from my sons college fund. I asked for a meeting to discuss paying $5.00-$20.00 per week. My father is 68 and works over 50 hours per week, my mother doesn't work but goes to the casino weekly. I am so distraught that I am only worth that amount to her that she would rather walk away than discuss it. I also paid over several thousand dollars in bills for them and took them on an all-paid cruise 3 years ago, that she has suddenly forgotten. This is tearing apart our family.
Any advice
I think you're finding out that you unfortunately have rotten parents.
Time to start forgetting about them. They don't sound like good people at all.
My guess is that in her mind a loan that went uncollected for 6 years became a gift in her mind and now she is more offended and hurt that you asked. You have ever right to ask for the money back but you also have the right and opportunity to forgive the loan. I was always taught to never loan more than you can afford to giveaway.
If the familial ties are worth it to you then forgive the loan and avoid loaning or expensive gifting in the future.
Many times parents have it in their mind that the sacrifices they once made for their children will be reciprocated.
Did you notice that it was not her money? The loan came out of her son's college fund. It's reasonable to expect the loan be paid back by the time he is ready for college.
OP: don't you love it when a parent is clearly in the wrong but decides to turn the tables and walk away like they are the injured party.
I expect when you lent them the money, your mom was nice as could be to you about it. You were their HERO . . . for a few days, anyway, lol.
You are probably not going to get that money back . . . but I think it is only right that you force your parents into telling you this to your face. I know it will be ugly and difficult but anyone who can pass the word around the family behind your back should be forced to repeat it to your face.
Anyone who would try to justify their own bad behavior by announcing they are going to cut you off obviously knows they are in the wrong and just wanted to get the first hit in so that you are put on notice about her decision never to pay you back. Now, you are the greedy, uncaring, unfeeling offspring and she is the injured party.
I personally would not WANT to continue a relationship with ANYONE who treated me this way.
This was high handed manipulation to bring you to your knees and have you say you were sorry for even mentioning the loan, as the price to pay for demanding repayment is to excommunicate you from your family.
Maybe being cut off from these folks would be a huge blessing . . .
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
