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Old 12-27-2013, 11:07 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
10,596 posts, read 13,083,231 times
Reputation: 16135

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Quote:
Originally Posted by CSD610 View Post
Small price to pay for a "gift" that gets you out of all the drama and paying thousands of dollars more for them in the future.
Just tell her to have a nice life, enjoy her casino and don't call you when they are broke because of her gambling and their inability to handle their money instead of their money handling them.

PS ~~ Don't ever "loan" money to friends or family you want to keep in your life. Tell them it is a gift or at least expect it to be treated as a gift that will never be repaid.
Also, learn the word NO when it comes to giving someone else money unless they are a creditor.
I agree. You help them out and if they pay you back, It's a bonus. I loaned money to people too, Including paying the rent for my cousin 11 years ago-She was in bad shape financially and said she would pay me back "with interest" I said ok and just left it at that. She remained until a few months ago in bad shape and out of 8 people I ever loaned money to only 2 repaid it, One was a roommate and another my best friend. The parents though borrowed money that was towards a child future, And at least some effort would be nice vs spending it at a casino. To Diane-Your parents are always your parents and you should visit them to at least try to discuss it. But I would not advise at any rate lending more cash. You have a life and family as well.

It sucks that green pieces of paper cause such strife, But such is the world we live in.
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:08 AM
 
Location: southern california
55,479 posts, read 74,374,114 times
Reputation: 47872
dont let it tear your family apart. just dont loan them any more money
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:20 AM
 
537 posts, read 989,625 times
Reputation: 1264
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabiya View Post
Considering how much money THEY spent on you from the time you were born to now..... you infact owe THEM instead of them owing you.
What a horrible way of looking at parenthood.

The best thing to do is not expect the money back and disown them. The more hell you raise, the more set in stone they will be about disowning you. You can only take the loss... and then realize it was just a costly gain. Never loan out money to anyone, especially that much.

If that's the way your family reacts, then that kind of relationship sounds toxic to me. Please take time away from them. Sooner or later, your parents will come back. At this point, we won't know if they will apologize or just need more money.
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:39 AM
 
914 posts, read 773,580 times
Reputation: 1069
Quote:
Originally Posted by drunkwithwords View Post
What a horrible way of looking at parenthood.

The best thing to do is not expect the money back and disown them. The more hell you raise, the more set in stone they will be about disowning you. You can only take the loss... and then realize it was just a costly gain. Never loan out money to anyone, especially that much.

If that's the way your family reacts, then that kind of relationship sounds toxic to me. Please take time away from them. Sooner or later, your parents will come back. At this point, we won't know if they will apologize or just need more money.

That's exactly what I was going to say. The OP's parents will come back....WHEN THEY NEED MORE MONEY.

OP, please don't be a sucker, NEVER give them so much as a penny!
When they ask you, tell them, "sorry, you cut me off, remember?? Who were you people again, anyway??"

Ram it in their faces as hard as you possibly can and take satisfaction from the grief and pain it causes them, because that is the only payback you're ever going to get.
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:41 AM
 
3,939 posts, read 3,843,429 times
Reputation: 3047
Disowning you is the only thing she can do to try to gain power in the situation. You are in power since she owes you money. Some parents want to borrow money but don't want the parent/ child dynamic to change but it will if child keeps giving parent their "allowance". Most people who ask for money are not mature enough to pay the money back and realize the consequences of not doing so, IMO. I hope you don't "lend" any more money to family. Looks like you will not see any of that 5K. Sorry about your situation.
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:52 AM
 
Location: So Cal
40,183 posts, read 39,738,202 times
Reputation: 41655
At the risk of being lead on here, I'll still answer.

Just on face value this sounds like balony, there must be more to the story, unless your parents are really this crazy.....

Normal emotionally healthy humans don't do this sort of thing.
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Old 12-27-2013, 12:12 PM
 
Location: california
5,617 posts, read 4,846,986 times
Reputation: 6614
If she ended it .
End it , and move on.
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Old 12-27-2013, 12:14 PM
 
Location: On The Road Full Time RVing
2,342 posts, read 2,899,322 times
Reputation: 2224
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Caldwell View Post
Did you notice that it was not her money? The loan came out of her son's college fund. It's reasonable to expect the loan be paid back by the time he is ready for college.
The money still belongs to the mother, and not the son.
And the grandparents will now cause their grandson not to have the money for college.

The parents have the money and her mother wastes money on gambling.

It's not a loan any more it is now called stealing, by not trying to pay it back ! ! !

.
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Old 12-27-2013, 12:17 PM
 
914 posts, read 773,580 times
Reputation: 1069
Quote:
Originally Posted by bumpus7 View Post
The money still belongs to the mother, and not the son.
And the grandparents will now cause their grandson not to have the money for college.

The parents have the money and her mother wastes money on gambling.

It's not a loan any more it is now called stealing, by not trying to pay it back ! ! !

.
Thank you. See post #18, where I first called it what it is...STEALING
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Old 12-27-2013, 12:29 PM
 
4,644 posts, read 6,451,577 times
Reputation: 5388
Just tell her all is forgiven and move on. Just let other family members know if another financial storm comes up its on them. Live your life.
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