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Today I've been told my mother has announced to our family she has disowned me. The reason: I asked my parents to begin paying back a $5,000. Loan I gave them over 6 years ago from my sons college fund. I asked for a meeting to discuss paying $5.00-$20.00 per week. My father is 68 and works over 50 hours per week, my mother doesn't work but goes to the casino weekly. I am so distraught that I am only worth that amount to her that she would rather walk away than discuss it. I also paid over several thousand dollars in bills for them and took them on an all-paid cruise 3 years ago, that she has suddenly forgotten. This is tearing apart our family.
Any advice
Diane, who did she announce it to? Do you have siblings? You are right, of course, if your mother has the funds to go to a casino weekly, she should certainly be paying you first.
If you do have siblings, can they intercede on your behalf? Have you discussed this with your father?
Hi I am so sorry but I think you need to go over to your moms and talk to her in person. Often stories change when many people are involved. You do deserve the money back and that is so nice of you to set up a payment plan. I can understand how hurt you feel and if this is true your mom has some major issues mentally she needs to deal with. Does she have any mental disorders that are diagnosed? Is she a compulsive gambler because going to the casino weekly sound like a lot.
My guess is that in her mind a loan that went uncollected for 6 years became a gift in her mind and now she is more offended and hurt that you asked. You have ever right to ask for the money back but you also have the right and opportunity to forgive the loan. I was always taught to never loan more than you can afford to giveaway.
If the familial ties are worth it to you then forgive the loan and avoid loaning or expensive gifting in the future.
Many times parents have it in their mind that the sacrifices they once made for their children will be reciprocated.
I agree with others, try talking in person to both of your parents, or writing them a letter. Even if you wait a little bit for things to calm down, I'm sure that won't be their final reaction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sabiya
Considering how much money THEY spent on you from the time you were born to now..... you infact owe THEM instead of them owing you.
Small price to pay for a "gift" that gets you out of all the drama and paying thousands of dollars more for them in the future.
Just tell her to have a nice life, enjoy her casino and don't call you when they are broke because of her gambling and their inability to handle their money instead of their money handling them.
PS ~~ Don't ever "loan" money to friends or family you want to keep in your life. Tell them it is a gift or at least expect it to be treated as a gift that will never be repaid.
Also, learn the word NO when it comes to giving someone else money unless they are a creditor.
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