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Old 12-27-2013, 06:57 PM
 
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Since I was 30 I go skiing to Switzerland or Austria around Christmas. I always spend Christmas Day away from my family. I previously send the gifts to everyone (parents, brothers and nephews) and wish them Merry Christmas before I depart.

However, my mother says she's always sad not to have me around together with the rest of the family and she says "she can come as well". She has this theory I keep a girlfriend and don't want to bring her around. She seriously doesn't believe I go skiing on my own.

I actually missed them this Christmas (I just arrived back home) but the family gathering can be very draining, especially with kids around.

Hiowever, I keep thinking if I shouldn't fulfill my mother's wish because one day I won't have her anymore.
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Old 12-27-2013, 07:41 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
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As a mother myself, I would also be sad if a family member was avoiding contact.

I would rather have your presence than your presents.
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Old 12-27-2013, 07:45 PM
 
16 posts, read 31,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
As a mother myself, I would also be sad if a family member was avoiding contact.

I would rather have your presence than your presents.
I'm not avoiding contact, I just have this habit of going to a ski resort around this time. Besides, my brothers have kids and the respective partners, so I'm a bit out of place. My nephews make plenty of noise as well.
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Old 12-27-2013, 08:07 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
33,296 posts, read 20,110,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FriedAzzro View Post
Since I was 30 I go skiing to Switzerland or Austria around Christmas. I always spend Christmas Day away from my family. I previously send the gifts to everyone (parents, brothers and nephews) and wish them Merry Christmas before I depart.

However, my mother says she's always sad not to have me around together with the rest of the family and she says "she can come as well". She has this theory I keep a girlfriend and don't want to bring her around. She seriously doesn't believe I go skiing on my own.

I actually missed them this Christmas (I just arrived back home) but the family gathering can be very draining, especially with kids around.

Hiowever, I keep thinking if I shouldn't fulfill my mother's wish because one day I won't have her anymore.
well Christmas is over.
I like spending Christmas doing whatever I feel like doing. But I love my family, and I want to spend as much time as possible with them.
My bro finally came home from the hospital, and my other brother is still in England. We said hi to him on Christmas morning. I just realized that how much I love my family and how much I miss spending time with them.

Spend as much time as possible with your family. Don't take them for granted.
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Old 12-27-2013, 09:20 PM
 
16 posts, read 31,988 times
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Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981 View Post
well Christmas is over.
I like spending Christmas doing whatever I feel like doing. But I love my family, and I want to spend as much time as possible with them.
My bro finally came home from the hospital, and my other brother is still in England. We said hi to him on Christmas morning. I just realized that how much I love my family and how much I miss spending time with them.

Spend as much time as possible with your family. Don't take them for granted.
I obviously care for them but I don't think my presence would make that much difference when my mother has my brothers and 5 small children around her.
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Old 12-27-2013, 09:26 PM
 
Location: southwestern PA
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Obviously it does, as your mother wants you there.
But you choose to avoid the holiday anyway...
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Old 12-27-2013, 09:46 PM
 
16 posts, read 31,988 times
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Originally Posted by Pitt Chick View Post
Obviously it does, as your mother wants you there.
But you choose to avoid the holiday anyway...
The problem is that she tries to meddle into my personal life and says I can bring my girlfriend, which makes me uncomfortable.

While I enjoy my holidays in the snow, I'm afraid to regret not spending Christmas with her one day after she's gone.
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Old 12-27-2013, 10:19 PM
 
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Assuming you spend time with your family at other times of the year, I don't see why you should feel guilty about skipping the Christmas celebration. In fact, I look forward to the day when I can do the same. This is the last year we have kids in college, but next year? I'd just as soon skip the decorating, gifts and cooking and take a trip instead.

It seems weird to me that your mother is considering leaving everybody else next Christmas to go away with just you.
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Old 12-27-2013, 10:41 PM
 
16 posts, read 31,988 times
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Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
Assuming you spend time with your family at other times of the year, I don't see why you should feel guilty about skipping the Christmas celebration. In fact, I look forward to the day when I can do the same. This is the last year we have kids in college, but next year? I'd just as soon skip the decorating, gifts and cooking and take a trip instead.
Of course I spend time with them at other occasions, mainly birthdays and I have lunch at my mother's house on Sunday plenty of times.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mattie View Post
It seems weird to me that your mother is considering leaving everybody else next Christmas to go away with just you.
Sorry but where did I say that? My mother would never come with me. She loves the traditional celebration.
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Old 12-27-2013, 11:08 PM
 
13,169 posts, read 20,795,870 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FriedAzzro View Post
Of course I spend time with them at other occasions, mainly birthdays and I have lunch at my mother's house on Sunday plenty of times.



Sorry but where did I say that? My mother would never come with me. She loves the traditional celebration.
Ok, I see what you said there. When you wrote "she can come with me", I thought your mother was suggesting she join you on your trip. Now I realize she is alluding to a girlfriend. Gotcha.

You don't sound like a neglectful person, just one who prefers to spend his holidays differently. The only one who needs to feel comfortable with that is you. But, it doesn't seem like you really are.
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