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Old 12-28-2013, 12:35 PM
 
1,480 posts, read 2,293,916 times
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My wife has a best friend (a woman) that she is inseparable from. They talk every day of the week either in person, on the phone, or via email or text. (They see each other 3-4 times a week.) They are super close and share an incredible chemistry and conversational ability. They could talk all day and not run out of topics of discussion. They have known each other since college (40 years).

Do you have someone you talk to nearly every day and is a non romantic but share a form of emotional intimacy with great conversational chemistry?

Do you think this only happens with women? Or can two men be this close? Would it help or hurt your marriage to have someone like this?

 
Old 12-28-2013, 12:48 PM
 
Location: Norwood, Massachusetts
1,752 posts, read 3,737,452 times
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I had friends like that when I was younger but not anymore (mid 40s). I'm still friends with the people who I used to interact with daily but with life changes it just isn't that way anymore. For example, the last non-romantic friend I had that I was in contact with on a daily basis and saw several times a week was a friend from college who subsequently moved to the same town I was living. We probably did speak daily and probably saw each other 4 days a week at least, even when we had boyfriends. But we have both since married, she's had kids, and now live a considerable distance from each other (she is in PA I am in FL) so it just isn't that way anymore. And the friends I think you make later in life are much less likely to get to the point of daily contact even if they are truly intimate friends. There's just so much more going on in your life by the time you hit your mid to late thirties and later.

At least that's the case from my perspective, but I have moved all over the country and haven't lived in my home state since I was 17. My friends who stayed close to home have friendships like the ones you describe, sometimes more than one. Sometimes I really envy that….it's something I think you miss out on when you move great distances, especially if you do it multiple times.
 
Old 12-28-2013, 07:39 PM
 
6,758 posts, read 8,271,283 times
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Yes, I do it, and yes, I know men who do it (including my ex).

I think it helps a marriage enormously. I would not get seriously involved with a guy who did not have close friendships.
 
Old 12-28-2013, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Not where I want to be
4,827 posts, read 7,247,191 times
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When I was in my 20s, I was best friends with the woman who lived across the hall from me. We would hang out together almost every evening and spend at least one weekend day together. When I moved, we remained in contact of course and would speak on the phone every night for about an hour.

Funny thing is, we somehow lost touch with one another. I moved, she moved.... she got married and moved out of state. We recently reconnected on Facebook after about 25 years (!!!!). She called me and it was like there was never any time lost!!!! We caught up on one another's lives and just talked about our old neighborhood, other friends, etc. It was great! I'm hoping she'll visit NY soon so we can see one another again!
 
Old 12-28-2013, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Melbourne, Australia
9,781 posts, read 16,165,986 times
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Yes, a couple, but they live overseas so we only talk online. I met one via another forum but met him IRL when I went to America, while I met the other in Vietnam and we talk regularly.
 
Old 12-29-2013, 03:13 AM
 
Location: Southern California
15,088 posts, read 17,510,694 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Retired Now View Post
My wife has a best friend (a woman) that she is inseparable from. They talk every day of the week either in person, on the phone, or via email or text. (They see each other 3-4 times a week.) They are super close and share an incredible chemistry and conversational ability. They could talk all day and not run out of topics of discussion. They have known each other since college (40 years).

Do you have someone you talk to nearly every day and is a non romantic but share a form of emotional intimacy with great conversational chemistry?

Do you think this only happens with women? Or can two men be this close? Would it help or hurt your marriage to have someone like this?
No. Fortunately. I couldn't handle being in contact with anyone on a daily basis.

[good thing I live alone ]
 
Old 12-29-2013, 04:13 AM
 
1,480 posts, read 2,293,916 times
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I think it would be healthy to have a non romantic relationship that is that close to not put to much pressure on your spouse to be your only really close friend.
 
Old 12-29-2013, 04:41 AM
 
Location: The New England part of Ohio
18,586 posts, read 23,126,842 times
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No. I don't. I think it's odd, at best.
 
Old 12-29-2013, 05:56 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,567 posts, read 9,627,370 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MIKEETC View Post
No. Fortunately. I couldn't handle being in contact with anyone on a daily basis.

[good thing I live alone ]
Same here. I live a pretty boring life so I don't even have enough to talk about every day. My phone rarely rings and when it does it usually makes me jump! lol
 
Old 12-29-2013, 06:39 AM
 
Location: Canada
5,708 posts, read 4,125,099 times
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I have a close girlfriend who I talk to often. Not every day, but probably 4 times a week. Her and her husband are our best friends and we never run out of conversations. We don't all get together often, (maybe once a month), but when we do, we enjoy eachother's company very much.

My girlfriend and I have talked about it and we know if/when either one of us passes away, I know the other will be devastated. She is the sister I never had and I'm an extra sister in her family. (I'm very close to her two sisters also) I am close to my brothers but I feel very fortunate to have these wonderful women friends in my life.
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