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Old 12-29-2013, 07:54 AM
 
Location: Squirrel Hill PA
1,961 posts, read 1,875,374 times
Reputation: 3990

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I hardly ever talk to my neighbors. I am an introvert and have a busy life. We do occasionally, as in a few times a year, say hello or have a brief chat but we mostly just go about our lives. Nobody seems offended by one another at all.

Seems like your neighbors made an effort to met you when you moved in and as was said, decided that you had nothing to offer them so they went back to their lives. It might be that over time things will change again but I would not really obsess over it.
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Old 12-29-2013, 10:15 AM
 
914 posts, read 776,044 times
Reputation: 1069
Could be that your refusal of their help could have been taken as a not-so-polite brush-off.

I would continue to say hello to them when you see them, wave, and otherwise be friendly...they may come around later...if you continue to be nice and civil. And maybe they won't.

But returning a cold shoulder for a cold shoulder is going to insure you remain in a deep freeze.
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Old 12-29-2013, 01:21 PM
 
3,723 posts, read 4,589,049 times
Reputation: 4746
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyKels View Post
My mother and I moved into a new neighborhood during the end of November. (I'm 25, my mother is 61.)

The first night, a guy around 28 to 32 was outside with his dog. His dog kept coming by us barking, licking, etc. as we were carrying our bags to the house. I told the dog to get away. (We're not into dogs and the dog almost made me drop my bags.) The guy politely told us that the dog was friendly and didn't bite. That was that.

The next time my mother seen this guy, he volunteered to let his son finish taking the trash bag to the dumpster, but she thanked him and said she got it. (No one offered to help us while moving in with heavy things, but after we moved in, he offered to carry something so small.) He spoke about 3 times after that, then stopped. Since then, my mother has spoken to him about 5 times, but he ignores her. One time, he just stared at us.

The guy next door is acting strange, too. He met my mother the 2nd day while she was bringing in some stuff from her old place. (I was at work.) She said the next door neighbor talked to her for about 45 minutes. He told her he was married, had 4 kids, told her about the community and had general conversation.

About 4 days after that, my mother was knocking on the door for me to open it, the neighbor walked up without speaking, so my mother turned to ask him how was his day. He seemed a bit irritated, but told her it was okay.

Later that day, the delivery men brought our new furniture, then left the empty boxes outside our door. When my mother went outside, the neighbor told her he was going to take the boxes to the trash for her but he didn't because he saw they were empty and not heavy. (No one had given him permission to look through our stuff, but my mother didn't get an attitude, she just spoke to him and said okay.)

Everyone started off friendly, now they seem to have attitudes and won't speak back.

It doesn't bother me, because I'm introverted, I've never spoken to any of these people, etc. but my mother is bothered and wondering why they are now giving her the cold shoulder. My mother and I are both introverted except she makes eye contact and speaks - I never make eye contact nor speak unless someone speaks to me first. (I'm not rude, but I got tired of speaking to people who didn't speak back, so now I only speak when spoken to.)


We don't smoke, drink, etc. These people smoke weed, drink, etc. so maybe they figure why bother speaking if we're not hanging out with them? Could it be that they aren't speaking to her anymore, because they dislike me, so taking it out on her? Anyone been through anything similar or have any idea?
They can tell you're not interested in being friendly. As you say, you are an introvert. When people offer to help you and you rebuff them enough, they ignore you to some degree.
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Old 12-29-2013, 01:37 PM
 
Location: In your feelings
2,199 posts, read 1,594,671 times
Reputation: 2169
It's funny how the last sentence of each of OP's posts are more revealing about themselves than their neighbors. How do you know all your neighbors smoke weed? (I wish I got to know my neighbors that well that quickly!) Are you really suspicious of your neighbors because there's crime in the neighborhood? (Pro tip: it's probably not the people in the neighborhood committing the crimes.) It sounds like everyone in this situation keeping to themselves is probably a better idea. But I might like to meet your neighbors.
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Old 12-29-2013, 01:54 PM
 
7,495 posts, read 9,753,950 times
Reputation: 7394
Maybe they've had a tough holiday season and just don't want to talk. I'd wait a couple weeks before jumping to that conclusion. Even if it was something they were mad about, by that time they'll be over it. But I highly doubt that's the case.
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Old 12-30-2013, 11:32 AM
 
5 posts, read 22,823 times
Reputation: 16
Thanks for the answers.

To the questions....

1. I never said ALL of my neighbors smoke, etc. because I haven't met ALL. I was speaking on the ones which we have come into contact with. You don't have to be nosy to figure this out when every time we leave the house to go somewhere or come inside we see them hanging around smoking and drinking.

2. If it's so bad, why did we move here? You ever heard of falling on hard times?

The only thing I found weird was that they started off so friendly,then started being rude. If they had never spoken, said hi, etc. then it wouldn't even be a question, but usually if someone stops talking all of a sudden, there's a problem. We never did anything or said anything to them to cause trouble, so never understood the problem, but thanks for the replies.
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Old 12-30-2013, 11:40 AM
 
Location: The Great West
2,077 posts, read 2,020,983 times
Reputation: 4068
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kalisiin View Post
Could be that your refusal of their help could have been taken as a not-so-polite brush-off.

I would continue to say hello to them when you see them, wave, and otherwise be friendly...they may come around later...if you continue to be nice and civil. And maybe they won't.

But returning a cold shoulder for a cold shoulder is going to insure you remain in a deep freeze.
Good advice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyKels View Post
The only thing I found weird was that they started off so friendly,then started being rude. If they had never spoken, said hi, etc. then it wouldn't even be a question, but usually if someone stops talking all of a sudden, there's a problem. We never did anything or said anything to them to cause trouble, so never understood the problem, but thanks for the replies.
You were not friendly yourself, so why do you expect them to be friendly back?

Introverts can appear aloof. They don't know you so that's how they feel about you. It happens.
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Old 12-30-2013, 11:40 AM
 
12,330 posts, read 13,564,155 times
Reputation: 14306
They all sound like trouble.

Avoid them at all costs.
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Old 12-30-2013, 01:53 PM
 
17,000 posts, read 20,665,159 times
Reputation: 33987
Quote:
Originally Posted by KellyKels View Post
My mother and I moved into a new neighborhood during the end of November. (I'm 25, my mother is 61.)

The first night, a guy around 28 to 32 was outside with his dog. His dog kept coming by us barking, licking, etc. as we were carrying our bags to the house. I told the dog to get away. (We're not into dogs and the dog almost made me drop my bags.) The guy politely told us that the dog was friendly and didn't bite. That was that.

The next time my mother seen this guy, he volunteered to let his son finish taking the trash bag to the dumpster, but she thanked him and said she got it. (No one offered to help us while moving in with heavy things, but after we moved in, he offered to carry something so small.) He spoke about 3 times after that, then stopped. Since then, my mother has spoken to him about 5 times, but he ignores her. One time, he just stared at us.

The guy next door is acting strange, too. He met my mother the 2nd day while she was bringing in some stuff from her old place. (I was at work.) She said the next door neighbor talked to her for about 45 minutes. He told her he was married, had 4 kids, told her about the community and had general conversation.

About 4 days after that, my mother was knocking on the door for me to open it, the neighbor walked up without speaking, so my mother turned to ask him how was his day. He seemed a bit irritated, but told her it was okay.

Later that day, the delivery men brought our new furniture, then left the empty boxes outside our door. When my mother went outside, the neighbor told her he was going to take the boxes to the trash for her but he didn't because he saw they were empty and not heavy. (No one had given him permission to look through our stuff, but my mother didn't get an attitude, she just spoke to him and said okay.)

Everyone started off friendly, now they seem to have attitudes and won't speak back.

It doesn't bother me, because I'm introverted, I've never spoken to any of these people, etc. but my mother is bothered and wondering why they are now giving her the cold shoulder. My mother and I are both introverted except she makes eye contact and speaks - I never make eye contact nor speak unless someone speaks to me first. (I'm not rude, but I got tired of speaking to people who didn't speak back, so now I only speak when spoken to.)


We don't smoke, drink, etc. These people smoke weed, drink, etc. so maybe they figure why bother speaking if we're not hanging out with them? Could it be that they aren't speaking to her anymore, because they dislike me, so taking it out on her? Anyone been through anything similar or have any idea?

This is a very odd post. From the title of it I would have thought it was about long time neighbors who after YEARS of interaction stopped speaking for some unknown reason.

I mean you just moved in last month.

And how do you know they smoke weed? Have lived next door to people for years and couldn't tell you something that personal about them.

Sounds like you and your mother should keep contact limited to hello and goodbye for everyone's benefit.
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Old 12-30-2013, 02:08 PM
 
5 posts, read 22,823 times
Reputation: 16
I assume you didn't read my last post. How would I not know someone smokes weed and drinks if every time I go to the car or come home they are outside smoking it and drinking?

I don't understand questions such as yours that try to make it seem as though we are nosy to figure out something so simple. It's not like they hide it.

There are also couples that come outside in the middle of the night - yelling at each other, slamming doors, fighting, too, but I guess I'm also being nosy to hear all of that commotion, too, huh?

Quote:
Originally Posted by seain dublin View Post
This is a very odd post. From the title of it I would have thought it was about long time neighbors who after YEARS of interaction stopped speaking for some unknown reason.

I mean you just moved in last month.

And how do you know they smoke weed? Have lived next door to people for years and couldn't tell you something that personal about them.

Sounds like you and your mother should keep contact limited to hello and goodbye for everyone's benefit.
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