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Old 12-31-2013, 01:09 AM
Location: Tampa Bay, FL
237 posts, read 333,341 times
Reputation: 303


Learn to accept people with their moles and wrinkles, you have them too!

If its habitual, say something and/or modify the plans you make with him/her.

After that, relax and enjoy your friendship and drop the petty stuff.
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Old 12-31-2013, 05:14 AM
20,304 posts, read 16,471,247 times
Reputation: 38117
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
Unless someone has tied your mother up, no kind of "mental block" will stop her from doing what is important to her.
Being on time is not important to her and she takes it for granted everyone else will wait or put up with it.
Let's just agree to disagree, then.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:04 AM
12,255 posts, read 13,479,761 times
Reputation: 14115
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
I live in a world where my employer expects me to be on time. My doctors expect me to be on time. Movie theaters don't delay the start of the show because I am running late. My airplane sure as h*ll doesn't wait for me because I'm running late.

Why wouldn't a friend place value on my time and not leave me waiting and worrying??? To be late over and over is just rude, plain and simple.

Nice examples too! Well said.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:08 AM
Location: a primitive state
9,842 posts, read 20,086,063 times
Reputation: 12294
If someone is more than 15 minutes late and I'm hungry, I eat. Life goes on.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:11 AM
2,612 posts, read 4,753,415 times
Reputation: 3943
I have a friend like that. I just assume any time she gives me will be about an hour later. Texting or calling to verify when they actually left the house also helps (before actually leaving yourself). I also have a friend who shows up early everywhere, and that's also annoying - she'll say 3:30pm, and then text me at 315pm saying she's already sitting down and has ordered lunch.
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Old 12-31-2013, 07:17 AM
1,006 posts, read 1,860,947 times
Reputation: 1556
Originally Posted by 30to66at55 View Post
And then become mature and stop texting and pick up the phone and talk.
Seriously? The 60's called and they are looking for you.
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Old 12-31-2013, 09:46 AM
3,201 posts, read 5,009,872 times
Reputation: 4458
Originally Posted by 30to66at55 View Post
Oh the humanity of that.

Unfriend her on facebook immediately

Never ever text her again.

And then maybe make another better friend

And then become mature and stop texting and pick up the phone and talk.
why not text? I would much prefer a friend text me to tell me simple things like they are late than call me. We're going to hang out and talk in person when they get there. I don't need a voice conversation for them to tell me they're running late, especially if I might be at a bar that is loud and hard to hear or at a place where having a phone conversation is annoying (like a nice restaurant) but a quick text isn't intrusive. Texts are perfect for these exact situations.
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Old 12-31-2013, 09:59 AM
12,984 posts, read 15,322,633 times
Reputation: 15163
Originally Posted by knitgirl View Post
I was supposed to meet a friend yesterday between 4:15 and 4:30 for an early dinner. (I hadn't had lunch.) I texted her at 3:30 and told her I'd be there closer to 4:15, she read my text. I got there at 4:10, texted her again with the exact location. She texted back at 4:23 that it took longer to scrape the ice off her car than expected. I thought I knew where she was leaving from, so assumed she'd be there in 10-15 minutes. She didn't show til 4:50, just as I was leaving. I was really pi$$ed by then, so I let her know and left. Would you have waited that long? Was I unreasonable?

Does it make a difference that she frequently does this? About a year ago, she called me an hour after she was supposed to meet me to let me know she was leaving the house. She lives an hour away from where we were meeting. I told her not to bother.
She texted you at 4:23 to let you know it took her longer than expected. YOU assumed she was leaving from somewhere else. She didn't tell you that, you just assumed it. You should have asked her at 4:23 how long before she'd be there. You said you expected 10-15 minutes. She was there in 27 minutes. So you are upset that it took her 12 minutes longer than the longest time that you expected? That does seem petty and it seems like you were expecting/waiting for/anticipating her to be late so you could be angry about it.

You say she does this frequently and then you bring up a year ago. That's not frequently. And that was a different situation, calling an hour after she was supposed to meet you. She didn't do that this time.

One of my daughters tends to run a little late, so we just give her a time about 30 minutes earlier than we really intend for her to be there.
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Old 12-31-2013, 10:02 AM
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 67,009,663 times
Reputation: 22370
Originally Posted by stan4 View Post
The girl in question does this all the time. It is not just once. Here and there can be overlooked. Habitually screwing your friends over...not so much.

We have four dogs and an uncooperative, ever-pooping toddler who won't stop taking his shoes off, and we still manage to be on time.
The world is full of excuses.

I agree with you.
When I can (bc some restaurants want you to have a full party prior to seating you), I just start with a drink or something. But with a movie, a play, dinner theater, a flight...no dice.
Agree -- flights, theatre-- being late to scheduled events without some emergency occurring is a matter of poor planning and is disrespectful to everyone involved with having to work around someone else's tardiness. If this is perpetual, it would not be acceptable unless there were legit excuses.

For the most part, if someone has a legit excuse for being late to a casual lunch or dinner, it would not bother me. Stuff comes up. If tickets are involved, that is a very big problem when it is just a matter of the other person not planning well to be on time.

I have refused to be involved with any kind of get together with a certain family member (as in pick her up or ride with her) b/c she is always late. She made me late waiting on her (I was driving) for so many occasions, and would always be late picking me up, and I finally said years ago that I was no longer going to take her anywhere . . . we would just meet there. I cut that off 25 years ago and she is still late everywhere she goes, but at least I am no longer late because of her.
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Old 12-31-2013, 10:05 AM
Location: Georgia
4,560 posts, read 4,064,443 times
Reputation: 15762
Originally Posted by Checkered24 View Post
Being mean by blowing your friend off when they arrived certainly wasn't being a "good friend" either.

If your friend were to post here, I bet the post would read

"I was running late to meet my friend due to bad weather. I texted my friend to let them know I was late due to weather. My friend sounded understanding in text. After putting the time into battling the weather, over what is a half hour drive in nice weather, I arrived to find her angry and yelling at me. Should I bother to keep this emotionally abusive friend?"

Oh, please. Since when does being legitimately annoyed become "emotionally abusive?" This person didn't even BEGIN to try to leave her house until the time appointed to meet. She wasn't late "due to weather" -- she was late due to procrastination. She lollygagged around, realized she was cutting it close, and then went outside and realized that her car was iced. Poor planning, all around, and to top it off, failure to adequately communicate.

"Procrastination on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine." If this person makes a habit of taking other people's time for granted, then she deserves to be left standing out in the cold occasionally. Being consistently late is rude and self-absorbed.
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