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Old 01-02-2014, 09:37 AM
 
1,003 posts, read 1,326,442 times
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OP - yes, my parents are both embarrassingly picky over where they sit in a restaurant. They've been known to sit down, order drinks and ask to be moved multiple times. So embarrassing.



Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
I recently visited my mother in florida and ate dinner with some of her friends. one of the ladies considers herself a wine expert so she was helping another find wine. she sees the restaurant has 2 of some type of wine and orders the waiter (not so nicely) that he should bring both wines for her to taste. this was a Chinese restaurant and this guy barely speaks English and this isn't the right place for a fancy wine person's issues. ultimately, both wines were deemed "horrible" and after a little scene, she got a mixed drink.

are wine people typically obnoxious in restaurants? it seems like she places great importance on her wine expertise so she must be somewhat flagrant about her little wine dance that she does with the tasting and everything.
Your mom's friend sounds like an obnoxious friend/co-worker whom I no longer associate with. She was 32 at the time and a total life snob. We were at a nice bar and she sampled FOUR glasses of wine. She'd take a sip, snicker at it and say, "Nope, this is wrong!" Then push the glass of wine away. It was so embarrassing I finally looked at the bartender apologetically and said, "Bah! Give her a shot of whiskey, maybe that will solve her issues!"
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Old 01-02-2014, 09:45 AM
Status: "Things change. Can I?" (set 28 days ago)
 
Location: in the miseries
3,302 posts, read 3,568,114 times
Reputation: 3810
I think people do get orneryier as they get older. My bh is never happy with food, coffee, or most anything. If he ever liked his meal, I would salaam and sing hallelujah.
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Old 01-02-2014, 10:02 AM
 
1,961 posts, read 3,751,440 times
Reputation: 2762
To the OP.. your father sounds like he is an ass in restaurants. I am sorry


Quote:
Originally Posted by bumpus7 View Post
.
I am a 65 year old male.

If I order and it comes back wrong it goes back,
and I am paying, and it needs to be hot, or it goes back.

If it is a buffet I try a lot of things on my plate and if
something tastes bad or it is cold I leave it on the plate.

I have left a large amount of junk food on plates
for them to do what ever they want with it ... feed it to hogs.

If I order Sunnyside up eggs, and they come turned over, they go back.

If I order a rare steak, and it comes back medium rare, I may eat it,
but if it comes out medium, it goes back, and I want another one cooked right.

I ordered food that I wanted to eat ... not slop ! ! !

.
As to this, there is nothing wrong with requesting your meal be prepared the way you requested. But it depends on how you are interacting with the waiter/waitress. Sounds like you may not delivering your request in the kindest manner.


I rarely send things back, but I am not super super picky. Once I asked the waitress if they could replace my meal since the pasta was served frozen. Once in a bar, I returned my drink because it was a gin and coke and not a rum and coke. The bartender did not believe me, so I told her to taste it. (she did) and made the worst face ever. I got a free drink

I have never ever ever seen a need to yell, berate, or be rude to someone serving me because the meal was not 100% correct. If I am missing something, I just politely ask for a correction. If it is not being resolved, I talk to the manager. Which I actually did for the first time last week. Our whole meal was a disaster. The manager comped our meal. It was a disaster of epic proportions from delays in serving us (everyone who sat after us was finishing their meal before we got ours, random items we did not order were delivered, chicken nuggets with spicy(!!!) hot sauce was served for my 1 year olds when I asked for plain. My toddler was not served her drink until 15-20 minutes after all of us got ours. She even politely asked for her milk. However through all this, we never yelled, berated, or talked down to our waitress. No need ever. ever to not treat a human being like a human being.
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Old 01-02-2014, 11:02 AM
 
Location: So Cal
40,276 posts, read 39,837,633 times
Reputation: 41748
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
I feel like my dad is getting progressively worse when it comes to his behavior in dealing with waitstaff in restaurants.

if you ask my mom, my dad has always been a pain (they are divorced). as I remember it, for a long time he had a thing about hot French fries. whenever he got fries, first thing he did was check the temperature and I feel like 25% of the time it went back. today, its really any item or every item on the plate. he typically tells the waitress its "ice cold" and sends it back. I think we are talking about 50% of the time, could be worse. I have learned to ignore it, its a pretty simple transaction and he doesn't make a big deal of it.

however, the other day he ordered "coffee" at the end of the meal. the waitress asked "regular or decaf" to which he responds (not in the nicest voice) "coffee." she asks again "regular or decaf" and he repeats "coffee." it was awkward and I had no idea what he meant and neither did the waitress. but she said "okay so im getting a regular coffee" and he said yes. then he went on a rant about how he thinks that because he has gray hair that they assume he is old and wants decaf.

so im just wondering, do most people get more annoying as they get older? I said to him that I think eventually there will be places that ban him from coming in.
Man... I could tell you with some stories about my FIL...... He could be twins with your Dad.

I find that behavior you're talking about highly highly annoying to the point of being a deal breaker in terms of seeing them.

That bit with the coffee and waitress is totally unacceptable and made him look like a complete and utter A hole.

Sorry if that offends you.
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Old 01-02-2014, 11:05 AM
 
Location: earth?
7,288 posts, read 10,826,098 times
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I have a fantasy of someone standing up to these rude people and telling them how out-of-line they are - maybe having the manager throw them out of the restaurant! They used to have those signs that restaurants could refuse service to anyone. I just wish there were consequences for these people who seem to get away with antisocial behavior. Even their own families enable them.
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Old 01-02-2014, 11:41 AM
 
Location: NJ
24,037 posts, read 30,143,709 times
Reputation: 15922
Quote:
Originally Posted by imcurious View Post
I have a fantasy of someone standing up to these rude people and telling them how out-of-line they are - maybe having the manager throw them out of the restaurant! They used to have those signs that restaurants could refuse service to anyone. I just wish there were consequences for these people who seem to get away with antisocial behavior. Even their own families enable them.
it would be very interesting if the waitress came back and told him how rude he was being to her. they shouldn't come back and argue over whether or not the food is too cold or bad for whatever reason but if they addressed the manner the person is speaking to them then that may put him in a weird situation.

I actually have a customer now that was unhappy and she is yelling at me so far every conversation (really good this morning). i apologized for the initial problem (basically miscommunication) but she keeps yelling at me about it every conversation. its more interesting than when they are being nice to me. my main concern is really payment, I can handle being yelled at.
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Old 01-02-2014, 04:15 PM
 
32,205 posts, read 16,536,851 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
are wine people typically obnoxious in restaurants? it seems like she places great importance on her wine expertise so she must be somewhat flagrant about her little wine dance that she does with the tasting and everything.
The tasting is mostly just a spot of ceremony, and you can tell a buffoon by his/her going through the entire ritual of color/texture/nose/taste at that point - it's not a matter of whether the wine is of high quality, but simply a matter of determining whether it has gone bad in the bottle. A quick sniff/sip and a nod should do it - you're not looking for subtle bouquet traces, you're simply testing "Did it survive being bottled?" If the wine isn't bad, but just not to your liking, too bad - you ordered the bottle, and it's going on your bill. The kitchen crew will be glad to share it after their shift.

If you know what you're doing, testing the wine won't even interrupt the conversation. Then, when it's poured and had had a minute or two to breathe - then you can grab a pause in the conversation and try to pick up on all it may have to offer. Or just chug it, sometimes it's that kind of night.

Seriously, the real wine experts I've had the pleasure of dining with have never, ever been rude to the waiter - hell, you want to butter up the sommelier, perhaps he has something good stashed away that's not on the list - or in-your-face about their enthusiasm for wine. Admittedly, if you went ahead and asked them, they'd talk terroir and grape variants and "nuances of old teak" until the cows came home.
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Old 01-02-2014, 06:26 PM
 
5,898 posts, read 6,682,225 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dane_in_LA View Post
The tasting is mostly just a spot of ceremony, and you can tell a buffoon by his/her going through the entire ritual of color/texture/nose/taste at that point - it's not a matter of whether the wine is of high quality, but simply a matter of determining whether it has gone bad in the bottle. A quick sniff/sip and a nod should do it - you're not looking for subtle bouquet traces, you're simply testing "Did it survive being bottled?" If the wine isn't bad, but just not to your liking, too bad - you ordered the bottle, and it's going on your bill. The kitchen crew will be glad to share it after their shift.

If you know what you're doing, testing the wine won't even interrupt the conversation. Then, when it's poured and had had a minute or two to breathe - then you can grab a pause in the conversation and try to pick up on all it may have to offer. Or just chug it, sometimes it's that kind of night.

Seriously, the real wine experts I've had the pleasure of dining with have never, ever been rude to the waiter - hell, you want to butter up the sommelier, perhaps he has something good stashed away that's not on the list - or in-your-face about their enthusiasm for wine. Admittedly, if you went ahead and asked them, they'd talk terroir and grape variants and "nuances of old teak" until the cows came home.
This ^^^

For starters, the wine is going to be defined by the grape, the vintage and the vineyard. Those things are a given.

The only thing left is whether the wine has 'spoiled' during the bottling, shipping, storage, and possibly, the serving process.

It is VERY rare for a bottle to spoil, although it does happen. I sent a bottle back in a very uppity French restaurant. They were pretty pizzed, but it was bad. Vinegar. Period. Only one in MANY Years I have ever sent back.

It takes all of 2 seconds to have the waiter/sommelier pour a mouthful, and you take a small whiff--you don't even need to drink any of it--and you know whether it is wine, or has turned into something else.

All this twirling, and examining against the light, sniffing, and finally tasting is the sign of a rank amateur. And someone who is likely to reject the wine--not because it isn't a 'good' bottle, but because it isn't 'what they wanted' in terms of taste. Too bad. You bought it at that point.

Major PIA if you have to watch this at the next table, or endure it at your own!
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Old 01-02-2014, 06:30 PM
 
2,612 posts, read 4,757,888 times
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To the OP - To be honest, your dad sounds hilarious in a Meet the Fockers kind of way. I'd go to dinner with him just for the entertainment value.
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Old 01-03-2014, 01:03 AM
 
16,487 posts, read 21,037,970 times
Reputation: 16171
Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainNJ View Post
I feel like my dad is getting progressively worse when it comes to his behavior in dealing with waitstaff in restaurants.

if you ask my mom, my dad has always been a pain (they are divorced). as I remember it, for a long time he had a thing about hot French fries. whenever he got fries, first thing he did was check the temperature and I feel like 25% of the time it went back. today, its really any item or every item on the plate. he typically tells the waitress its "ice cold" and sends it back. I think we are talking about 50% of the time, could be worse. I have learned to ignore it, its a pretty simple transaction and he doesn't make a big deal of it.

however, the other day he ordered "coffee" at the end of the meal. the waitress asked "regular or decaf" to which he responds (not in the nicest voice) "coffee." she asks again "regular or decaf" and he repeats "coffee." it was awkward and I had no idea what he meant and neither did the waitress. but she said "okay so im getting a regular coffee" and he said yes. then he went on a rant about how he thinks that because he has gray hair that they assume he is old and wants decaf.

so im just wondering, do most people get more annoying as they get older? I said to him that I think eventually there will be places that ban him from coming in.
I am 60. I can count on one hand the amount of times I have ever sent anything back at a restaurant, so no, it isn't age, it is him.
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