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The support person doesn't designage any kind parentage,or next of kin for that matter.
When my dad was hospitalized, we designated my Sis-in-law as the person, as she was the one that lived the closest, was unemployed and was therefore able to be with my dad and get immediate information. She was a much better choice than her husband (my brother, patient's son). Once she got a job, then it changed to who was the easiest to reach in case the hospital had to contact us regarding any problems (and my dad was a huge attitude problem). And it was changed several times during the course of his stay.
Those boards are used in patient rooms all across the hospital, not just the maternity ward (do they still call it that?). It would be rather silly to list the father of every patient.
Those boards are used in patient rooms all across the hospital, not just the maternity ward (do they still call it that?). It would be rather silly to list the father of every patient.
Since it was in the daughter's room, one would think that person was daughter's father... not the boyfriend.
Often times, a friend or family member is the support person. It's not always the birth father. There are also adoptions going on and surrogacies. Military families don't always have the husband around. There are also gay and lesbian couples having children. If there are two moms, then there's no father!
You're definitely blowing this out of proportion. It didn't directly impact you so why stress over this so much? You can't change it. You don't work there so you don't see it every day. It's not information for you. It's for the nursing staff.
I was the support person during my sister-in-law's hospital stay when my first nephew was born. I wasn't called that, but I was in the delivery room right after he was born and I stayed with her all day and evening while she was in the hospital for 3 days. Her husband couldn't take off all the time from work to be there. I stayed with her so she wasn't alone and if anything happened I could call my brother-in-law and other family members. I didn't have any medical control. I was just there in case she needed something. I certainly was NOT the father!
Maybe I am a little slow, but I am having a hard time understanding why the issue of whether they are married or not keeps coming up. It would have made no difference in this situation. Whether they were married or not, the hospital only recognized the role of support person - not to mention the fact that the mom was just as unmarked as the father. So what?
It's relevant because the boy isn't the legal father of the baby unless he's married to the mother, or has established paternity in some other way. He's just another guy who the mother lets in her room. He's just a 'support person'.
As others have pointed about, this is not about political correctness. The hospital means something very specific when they say "support person," and it's not a substitute for "father."
For various kinds of inpatient conditions many hospitals require the patient to list a "support person"; for instance, a friend had to list one when she had a mastectomy, and it could have been her mother, her husband, her sister, a friend, etc. It's not a PC term used instead of "father," though because it was a maternity ward, it might have seemed that way.
Maybe I am a little slow, but I am having a hard time understanding why the issue of whether they are married or not keeps coming up. It would have made no difference in this situation. Whether they were married or not, the hospital only recognized the role of support person - not to mention the fact that the mom was just as unmarked as the father. So what?
Quote:
Originally Posted by LillyJo
It's relevant because the boy isn't the legal father of the baby unless he'smarried to the mother, or has established paternity in some other way. He's just another guy who the mother lets in her room. He's just a 'support person'.
He's just another guy who the mother lets in her room. He's just a 'support person'.
Or, He's just another guy who the mother let in her bedroom nine months ago.
To the OP, I really hope that your grandchild stays a part of your son's life and your life. When my nephew got divorced and his ex-wife remarried he was strongly pressured into giving up his parental rights so that her new husband could adopt my nephew's biological son.
My sister had been a very active grandmother, seeing her grandson almost everyday and caring for him on the weekends. It was devastating to her that she was never allowed to see him, even once, after he was adopted by the new husband of her former DIL. In fact, the ex-wife vowed to never even tell the child that he was adopted and that her second husband was not his biological father. She forbid her family from telling him and destroyed all photographs of her first marriage and the child with his biological father. My nephew and our family have never had contact with the, now 27 years old, adult and it is unlikely that they ever will since (to our knowledge) he thinks that the other man is his biological father.
It has been my experience, and statistically, if a man isn't even committed enough to marry the mother of his child how committed will he be to that child? Maybe your son is the exception, but it is something to think about. As a grandmother I would be more concerned about that than what is written on a white board in the hospital.
Last edited by germaine2626; 01-03-2014 at 10:00 PM..
... Have we reached a point in our society that we have become so "politically correct," (btw, I absolutely detest that term) that we no longer acknowledge the role of the father? I understand that there are many non-traditional families, and often the father is absent. But, when did we make that the default familial structure?
...
No, we've reached a point where we have realized that "father" is one of many potential support roles. It's no longer the default familial structure.
No, we've reached a point where we have realized that "father" is one of many potential support roles. It's no longer the default familial structure.
I think you have hit the nail on the head; and we, as a culture are paying the price. This was a discussion about so much more than a white board. Unfortunately, that's all many here we're able to see. Thanks all for your responses.
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