Buried with MY family or HERS? (husbands, guilty, relatives, Christmas)
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best bet is to get cremated and have the ashes scattered in the places you loved to visit in life.
We did that with my sister. We'll never do it again. The ashes are not in a little urn. They are the size of a kitchen garbage bag (and she wasn't a big person). The wind blows and the ashes are all over you. It's not romantic like in the movies. It's disgusting. Imagine cremated remains in your hair and eyes and mouth. Not to mention, it's illegal.
We did that with my sister. We'll never do it again. The ashes are not in a little urn. They are the size of a kitchen garbage bag (and she wasn't a big person). The wind blows and the ashes are all over you. It's not romantic like in the movies. It's disgusting. Imagine cremated remains in your hair and eyes and mouth. Not to mention, it's illegal.
There are legitimate places and methods of scattering ashes and one is burial at sea. Another is to have the cremanes buried on top of another grave. I know there are others.
We did that with my sister. We'll never do it again. The ashes are not in a little urn. They are the size of a kitchen garbage bag (and she wasn't a big person). The wind blows and the ashes are all over you. It's not romantic like in the movies. It's disgusting. Imagine cremated remains in your hair and eyes and mouth. Not to mention, it's illegal.
You wouldn't have to take the whole garbage bag with you. I know people who have done this and they just separate it up and give some to various friends or family members who may want some and the rest they put in smaller ziploc bags to scatter in various places. It may be illegal but who's going to know if you're just sprinkling a little here and there? I would rather take the chance of sprinkling her ashes in places I know she loved than having them in a bag, box, or urn somewhere.
I think it would be kind of insane to take a kichen garbage bag full of ashes and bone fragments and try to dump it all in one place. Of course it's going to get all over. Not to mention, I'm sure the person would have wanted their creamains scattered in more than one place.
There are legitimate places and methods of scattering ashes and one is burial at sea. Another is to have the cremanes buried on top of another grave. I know there are others.
There are also companies that turn creamains into a 'diamond' or mix it with seedlings and plant it as a tree.
You wouldn't have to take the whole garbage bag with you. I know people who have done this and they just separate it up and give some to various friends or family members who may want some and the rest they put in smaller ziploc bags to scatter in various places. It may be illegal but who's going to know if you're just sprinkling a little here and there? I would rather take the chance of sprinkling her ashes in places I know she loved than having them in a bag, box, or urn somewhere.
I think it would be kind of insane to take a kichen garbage bag full of ashes and bone fragments and try to dump it all in one place. Of course it's going to get all over. Not to mention, I'm sure the person would have wanted their creamains scattered in more than one place.
My aunt bought the family home while my grandparents were still alive. She decided to scatter my grandfather's ashes in the front yard. Ants decided to build and entire colony with them. We actually laughed about it when I said, "Typical of this family - why have one site when you can have an entire city."
There are also companies that turn creamains into a 'diamond' or mix it with seedlings and plant it as a tree.
Slightly off topic, but my sister in law found this company that took her son's fingerprint from the medical examiner and made a small medallion of it for a necklace. Much more touching than a gravestone.
There are legitimate places and methods of scattering ashes and one is burial at sea. Another is to have the cremanes buried on top of another grave. I know there are others.
Amisi recommended scatting in places people loved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amisi
You wouldn't have to take the whole garbage bag with you. I know people who have done this and they just separate it up and give some to various friends or family members who may want some and the rest they put in smaller ziploc bags to scatter in various places. It may be illegal but who's going to know if you're just sprinkling a little here and there? I would rather take the chance of sprinkling her ashes in places I know she loved than having them in a bag, box, or urn somewhere.
I think it would be kind of insane to take a kichen garbage bag full of ashes and bone fragments and try to dump it all in one place. Of course it's going to get all over. Not to mention, I'm sure the person would have wanted their creamains scattered in more than one place.
It was insane! It gets all over even with the small urns. I know from experience. It doesn't matter if it's just the size of a shoebox, wind is not your friend when disposing of bodies this way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amisi
There are also companies that turn creamains into a 'diamond' or mix it with seedlings and plant it as a tree.
OMG. I should start a company doing something like that with ashes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007
My aunt bought the family home while my grandparents were still alive. She decided to scatter my grandfather's ashes in the front yard. Ants decided to build and entire colony with them. We actually laughed about it when I said, "Typical of this family - why have one site when you can have an entire city."
I tend to agree with the bolded, however, when my brother and SIL's 20 year old son died last year they had to make a quick decision on what to do. The families lived up north and they lived in Florida. They buried him here and my brother had a real hard time with it - they have since moved back up north. I go to the gravesite on the day before his birthday, mother's day and father's day and leave pennies. I started finding them in odd places after he died. I leave them there so the lawn mowers will blow them around and others will find them and it sort of signifies sharing his love. I also leave notes, or letters, to my brother and SIL during these times reassuring them they were good parents and how much love they gave him. It means a lot to them.
Visiting the gravesite is very important to some people, and you should consider this for your surviving loved ones.
Slightly off topic, but my sister in law found this company that took her son's fingerprint from the medical examiner and made a small medallion of it for a necklace. Much more touching than a gravestone.
That's sort of unsettling walking around with a necklace of a fingerprint taken from a cadaver.
That's sort of unsettling walking around with a necklace of a fingerprint taken from a cadaver.
She wears it and never takes it off. It is really nice. Done in gold.
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