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Old 01-03-2014, 10:53 PM
 
5 posts, read 7,638 times
Reputation: 15

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Would you ever move back to your home state because you miss your family?

My story:

I recently accepted a new position and had to relocate to another city. Everything was fun at first, hanging and meeting up with old acquaintances. Acquaintance #1 said something rude about my apartment, so I stopped talking to her. Acquaintance #2 met a guy and has been MIA ever since.

So, basically, I'm here a lone in a new city with no friends and no family.

I'm in contact with my family every day and I really miss them. I was considering moving back home but I'm not sure if I would be able to transfer so soon, and I don't want to be a temporary burden on my family by just jumping the gun and moving anyways.

If my family wasn't in my home state I probably wouldn't want to move back. But I definitely feel like I don't belong here.

I've been having regrets now about moving here. Like maybe I shouldn't have. But there is nothing (besides my family) in my home state anyways.

Basically, I feel as though I don't belong anywhere right now.

I decided I've give myself a year here and if I still feel the same, I'd move. Cold turkey.

Would this be a bad idea?
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Old 01-03-2014, 10:59 PM
 
35,121 posts, read 39,987,519 times
Reputation: 62022
Why did you stop talking to the one friend over one comment?
Can't you talk and work it out? In the grand scheme of things that seems so trivial to stop talking to someone over some comment about an apartment no less. The apartment itself? Not you? Not your hair? Not your clothes? The apartment?
The one you rent from someone? The one you don't even own?

As far as the move goes, your choice to uproot yourself and move home because you are homesick and had a fight with your friend and lost the other one to (gasp) a man.

You have to decide what is more important for you and your life. Staying in the position you accepted and find new friends or go home and move in with your parents or sister or brother or whomever and hope you still have a job.
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Old 01-03-2014, 11:53 PM
 
Location: SoCal
6,050 posts, read 9,479,747 times
Reputation: 5757
I like your notion of giving yourself a year. It's reasonably short, and reasonably long.

Be careful during your year that you continue to look for reasons to stay where you are. It's difficult to move to a new place. It would be easy to roll back on your heels and wait for something good to happen during that year. But you need to search out good thing to happen where you are.

If you don't find them after a year of searching, then it was a good attempt. Time to move to somewhere else. Maybe back home ... or maybe forward to somewhere else.
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Old 01-04-2014, 05:32 AM
 
3,445 posts, read 5,040,629 times
Reputation: 6092
If I stopped talking to everyone that made an off hand comment about me or my home I wouldnt have friends either.

Go back home, you may not be socially ready to live away yet.
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Old 01-04-2014, 07:18 PM
 
Location: North Dakota
7,663 posts, read 8,950,244 times
Reputation: 10938
Quote:
Originally Posted by livebait View Post
Would you ever move back to your home state because you miss your family?

My story:

I recently accepted a new position and had to relocate to another city. Everything was fun at first, hanging and meeting up with old acquaintances. Acquaintance #1 said something rude about my apartment, so I stopped talking to her. Acquaintance #2 met a guy and has been MIA ever since.

So, basically, I'm here a lone in a new city with no friends and no family.

I'm in contact with my family every day and I really miss them. I was considering moving back home but I'm not sure if I would be able to transfer so soon, and I don't want to be a temporary burden on my family by just jumping the gun and moving anyways.

If my family wasn't in my home state I probably wouldn't want to move back. But I definitely feel like I don't belong here.

I've been having regrets now about moving here. Like maybe I shouldn't have. But there is nothing (besides my family) in my home state anyways.

Basically, I feel as though I don't belong anywhere right now.

I decided I've give myself a year here and if I still feel the same, I'd move. Cold turkey.

Would this be a bad idea?
How long have you been there? Give it some time.
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Old 01-04-2014, 07:28 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
32,309 posts, read 59,595,182 times
Reputation: 53811
Giving yourself a year is a good idea. Good luck to you.
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Old 01-04-2014, 07:46 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
77,945 posts, read 69,884,727 times
Reputation: 75730
Get involved in local activities--volunteer orgs., sports or hiking groups, meetups, etc. Take a yoga or Tai Chi class at the gym. Do what you can to mix, mingle and meet people. That's the only way to give your new home a fair shot.
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Old 01-05-2014, 07:47 AM
 
1,824 posts, read 2,467,950 times
Reputation: 4138
You don't say how old you are, or give any other information about yourself. That would be helpful to know. You also don't give any additional information about your family, or even your job situation, so it's hard to comment intelligently. Everything else being equal, I'd generally say, take this as a growth opportunity. There are more than two people in your new city. Get out there and meet them. Ask yourself why you were so quick to write acquaintenance (not even friend) #1. This is a great opportunity to learn about yourself, or you can run back to what's comfortable. I think you'll be better in the long run if you stick it out for a while.
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Old 01-05-2014, 08:58 AM
 
1,193 posts, read 1,529,387 times
Reputation: 3440
Someone once told me (long ago before I was about to move for the first time) that it takes a full year for a place to start feeling like "home." I've found that to be true. I also found that it helps if you really require yourself to get out there and try new things, have new experiences. Don't just sit around your apartment thinking it's a shame these two old acquaintances didn't work out. Join some new groups and try to make new friends too. It really helps to make friends through a shared activity. So consider a cooking class, a running club, volunteering at an animal shelter, a choir or community band if you're musical, church if you're religious... all of these things can help you form those natural connections the same way you used to when you were in school.
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Old 01-05-2014, 09:18 AM
 
Location: Colorado (PA at heart)
8,814 posts, read 13,573,729 times
Reputation: 11414
There is nothing wrong with moving to wherever you are comfortable living, but I do think you should give where you are a chance. Put yourself in situations where you can meet new people and make new friends. Anytime you move someplace new, there will be an adjustment period, especially if you don't know anyone yet.
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