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Old 12-09-2011, 08:27 AM
 
Location: Houston, Tx
8,260 posts, read 9,524,595 times
Reputation: 8198

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Quote:
Originally Posted by noela View Post
But this is irrelevant: fantasies are fantasies. That shouldn't interfere with adult relationships. Unless said man desperately needs to act on all his thoughts and impulses, like a child, the friendship is not necessarily in danger.

I have no need to know everything that goes on in my friends' minds. That's private and none of my business unless they want to share it with me. And we all know that there's something called "too much information".

Feelings of attraction wane, people you fantasize with vary. If you (impersonal "you", not you-you lol) cherish someone else's companionship and the value he/she adds to your life as a friend, those fleeting thoughts won't matter much. And if you don't, they're better off without you as a friend anyway.
Look I don't need any more friends, I have enough. So being friends with a women is a waste of time.(If she wants a male friend to tell her problems to, and go shopping with, then go get a gay guy). The only relationhips I have now with women are work, in relationship or sex. That's it. Again if the women is unattractive then yes its possible, but in my experience if the both people are attractive than at some point somebody is going to develp feelings for each.
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Old 12-09-2011, 08:39 AM
 
1,809 posts, read 3,101,707 times
Reputation: 1989
Quote:
Originally Posted by 14Bricks View Post
Look I don't need any more friends, I have enough. So being friends with a women is a waste of time.(If she wants a male friend to tell her problems to, and go shopping with, then go get a gay guy). The only relationhips I have now with women are work, in relationship or sex. That's it. Again if the women is unattractive then yes its possible, but in my experience if the both people are attractive than at some point somebody is going to develp feelings for each.
That's your choice, and that's fine, but what I was saying is that man-woman friendships do work for many other people.

I have at least a couple of straight male friends who are generally viewed as very attractive. They're highly literate, they look good, they have a wicked sense of humour and, of course, they're adorable (that's why they're my friends lol). I'm just not attracted to them and if I ever was in the past (not in this case), who cares after all these years of rewarding friendship? Plus, if I were attracted to all the men whom I've ever encountered and who have good enough qualities in my eyes, I'd have little time for anything else in my life.

So what, do bisexual people get no friends at all of either sex because feelings would develop towards all of them? I don't think so.

Therefore, some of you aren't interested in having friends of the opposite sex (which works better for you and you have your reasons), but being friends with them is entirely possible.
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Old 12-09-2011, 08:44 AM
 
7,376 posts, read 12,850,550 times
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All my female "friends" i want to bang or bang their friends. I have no reason to hang out with them just to hang out unless they will be drinking and i have a chance to get some.

Only one person can be just a friend. One person thinks they are just friends, the other person wants to bang.
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Old 12-09-2011, 08:46 AM
 
10,452 posts, read 10,593,664 times
Reputation: 12532
Of course. Straight people aren't attracted to every single member of the opposite sex. Also, there are gay people who are friends with the opposite sex all the time who have no chance of becoming attracted to them.
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Old 12-09-2011, 08:47 AM
 
7,376 posts, read 12,850,550 times
Reputation: 6959
make more money, meet more women
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Old 12-09-2011, 09:07 AM
 
9,014 posts, read 8,276,710 times
Reputation: 14429
Quote:
Originally Posted by 14Bricks View Post
Look I don't need any more friends, I have enough. So being friends with a women is a waste of time.(If she wants a male friend to tell her problems to, and go shopping with, then go get a gay guy). The only relationhips I have now with women are work, in relationship or sex. That's it. Again if the women is unattractive then yes its possible, but in my experience if the both people are attractive than at some point somebody is going to develp feelings for each.
LOL my sentiments exactly And I've had men say those exact words to me- "I don't need more friends, If I want a friend I'll go get a damn dog"....
(Said after I suggested we just be friends)
That woke me up.
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Old 12-09-2011, 09:26 AM
 
Location: US
5,144 posts, read 10,811,211 times
Reputation: 5340
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Uncomfortable how? Because of attraction developing? Because they get into a relationship with someone else?
Not on my part and I personally get excited any time a male friend gets a girlfriend. It makes me go awww just as if he were a sibling.

I get uncomfortable because:

-you notice them checking you out
-when they say things like: "what if you were single", "hypothetically would you date me", sexual comments, "you are more fun than my girlfriend" etc
- they try to be too friendly physically
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Old 12-09-2011, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 78,848,901 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
A woman can be just truly friends with a guy and a guy can be pretend friends with a woman...
You said it the best. I guess some women don't mind being "pretend" friends, either, even though I believe it doesn't happen as often. I may be a masochist in some respects, but I'm certainly not a masochist enough to hang around and drool over some guy who doesn't want me and to claim him as a "friend." All the male "friends" I have had and do have are guys I'm not attracted to who are attracted to me. That's just the way it goes...

Quote:
Originally Posted by anifani821 View Post
The key to being friends only is . . . there can be no sexual tension at all in the relationship. None. You have to feel like brother and sister.
That's exactly what it makes the scenario unrealistic as it's never the case.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight2009 View Post
However, I would wager that once a guy actually has a g/f, and is no longer "looking for love", so to speak, that it can in fact become a lot easier to look at a gal as "just friends", as well as 100% platonically
Some of you people are so damn naive... And trust me, "naive" is a nice euphemism here... I kind of believed in this fairy tale till some time in my early 20's. A "friend" I had from friggin' kindergarten eventually made a pass. A friend I knew and whose advances I'd turned down at the time married another friend of mine and we were friends (sometimes I was in a relationship; sometimes I wasn't) for many years until he also made a pass. It happens ALWAYS! ALWAYS! It may take years and decades, it may be just once, but it does, and some tension is always there! ALWAYS! Donít fool yourselves!
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Old 12-09-2011, 09:31 AM
 
2,113 posts, read 2,316,887 times
Reputation: 1762
I believe so. Far more of my guy friends have not asked me out compared to those who did
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Old 12-09-2011, 09:33 AM
 
3,458 posts, read 3,102,040 times
Reputation: 1532
everyone is different. i have a lot of female friends, and i'd probably sleep with 90% of them.

do they know this? no.

have they ever asked? no.

i will say that some women are easy to be friends with, because they hold up their end of the friendship. There is a palatable sense of being "buddies", and so sex isn't an issue. i think even if there's attraction, this sort of friendship can last because it is mutually beneficial.

Other women are difficult to be friends with, because they don't differentiate between the expectations they have for male friends, and boyfriends. They are sort of like girlfriends you don't have sex with, A.K.A., a pain in the ass, who demand an unwarranted amount of your attention and time. These friendships typically end -- either by becoming sexual, or by becoming too much of a hassle.
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