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Old 10-10-2007, 08:23 PM
 
396 posts, read 925,523 times
Reputation: 284

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I am becoming friends with a new male.
We talk when we see eachother, and we email.
No lines have been crossed.
I am sort of attracted to him, and I think he may be to me as well.
He lives with his girlfriend.
Is this wrong?
I have never entangled myself with someone who is in a relationship, and I don't plan on it now.
But, is being friends just as bad?
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Old 10-10-2007, 08:25 PM
 
186 posts, read 283,948 times
Reputation: 123
He is being bad--and you are being bad too!!! You know and he knows it--dont hide it--acknowledge it--if you feel it isn't right it probably isn't
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Old 10-10-2007, 08:30 PM
 
396 posts, read 925,523 times
Reputation: 284
You're right. Thank you.
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Old 10-10-2007, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Kingman AZ
15,371 posts, read 34,582,229 times
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by the same token I have a very close friend [woman] that I have known for 20 yrs and the line has NEVER been crossed...or even approached.
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Old 10-10-2007, 10:02 PM
 
Location: In My Own Reality
1,461 posts, read 1,958,375 times
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It's not a black and white issue. If you two are friends that's fine. If at some point you, and I mean both of you or either of you, feel that it is getting more serious then he needs to make a decision and so do you.

I have had a few male friends and once or twice the feelings might have been a little stronger but basicly we decided to be friends. I think you are always a little in love with your friends but when the friendship is male/female it is easy to cross the line so you have to be careful.

Just don't lie to yourself. If you really want more then admit it to yourself and him.
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Old 10-10-2007, 11:10 PM
 
Location: Camano Island, WA
1,913 posts, read 8,224,811 times
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Default Yes, as long as other feelings are not present...

I agree with GoddessofRandomThoughts. (<<cool screen name BTW)
Be honest with yourself or you both could lose each other.
I am friends with several guys that I have known for 20+ years.
Some married, some single. No lines have ever or will ever, be crossed.
I respect them and they respect me.
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Old 10-11-2007, 03:40 AM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 29,390,516 times
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I think you can be friends w people of the other sex. As long as you can realize that you are just friends.

Most of the time, since High School, I have had more male friends than female. Just how its been. No line crossing. Now, I think maybe it is evening out. I dont know.

I think a friend is a friend.

Now I am not talking a friend with benefits. I have never had one of those, but I do know a few people who have... LOL Not me.
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Old 10-11-2007, 04:08 AM
 
Location: Sarasota, FL; Upstate NY native
217 posts, read 812,509 times
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My guy friends are usually gay. I've tried to have straight guy friends, but they wanted more.
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Old 10-11-2007, 06:40 AM
 
6,561 posts, read 12,862,162 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by citybythebay View Post
I respect them and they respect me.
Don't get me started again!!!!



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Old 10-11-2007, 06:45 AM
 
26,314 posts, read 24,409,203 times
Reputation: 15995
Quote:
Originally Posted by old biddie View Post
I am becoming friends with a new male.
We talk when we see eachother, and we email.
No lines have been crossed.
I am sort of attracted to him, and I think he may be to me as well.
He lives with his girlfriend.
Is this wrong?
I have never entangled myself with someone who is in a relationship, and I don't plan on it now.
But, is being friends just as bad?
If you are attracted to him, then it is wrong and if nothing else, you need to think of her...and not take this any further...wouldn't your heart be broken in two if someone did this to you...?

You need to take responsiblity to the hearts of others, including this woman, b/c every action you take, can scar another heart for life...think about that...long and hard...before reacting to situations. You, and only you are in control here...and you can either destroy someone else's karma or effect it in a positive way...it's not about you, or your feelings. But it is about hers....

Yes, men and women can be very close friends, without any physical attraction which I believe comes with Maturity.

When we're young, we oft times mistake a very close relationship for a physical love....we know we love them...so, we want to give them the only most precious gift we have to give....ourselves....and once we give that to them, later, we may decide...whoa...I wasn't in love with this person...why did I do that? It's b/c we mistook a platonic love for someone of the opposite sex, for a physical love...and oft times, we end up loosing that love for the rest of our lives...unless we avoid the physical part.

I have a male friend I've known since 5th grade. I fell in love with him, the moment I saw him. He always had loads of girls after him...we were friends right up until he was married, and secretly I always felt I was in love with him. As we grew older, time worked it's paths for us, and we came back in contact with each other (both now single) and we talked a lot and shared our deepest thoughts...and learned that we really didn't have anything much in common, except deepest respect for one another, which goes a long long way and gifted me, with a life time friend.

Another male friend, I met 7 years ago, on the internet...wow, we are close and I love him dearly...like a brother, we call each other, kid, have gone thru some very tough times together, mentoring each other...we both write poetry....he is a magnificant person...and we have so much in common, yet, we know, deep down, we will never be sexual partners.

These kind of male friendships are priceless...and nothing can ever destroy that but mistaking a spectacular friendship like that for a physical one...and there are men out there who feel the same way, and understand, that it isn't about the sex. Its so much more.

I hope I have helped....

Hugs creme
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