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Old 01-04-2014, 10:27 AM
 
Location: usa
873 posts, read 1,358,521 times
Reputation: 313

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My mother keeps asking for money! I am employed f/t in my late 20s, I live 12 hours from home. My sister is 4 years younger still at home with a kid that's 4. My sister and I cant afford to keep giving her money and I'm annoyed. I have bills(including loans) as well as my sister. I cant get her off my back. She spends poorly and her cards are maxed out. She is married, but my stepfather doesnt give her money, what can I do?
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:36 AM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,988 posts, read 14,684,236 times
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Nothing - don't enable her bad spending problems. If the cards are maxed out and she stops getting money from other sources, she stops spending. Problem solved. Just say you do not have the money. End of story.
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:37 AM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,789,144 times
Reputation: 26716
Quote:
Originally Posted by futureATLien View Post
My mother keeps asking for money! I am employed f/t in my late 20s, I live 12 hours from home. My sister is 4 years younger still at home with a kid that's 4. My sister and I cant afford to keep giving her money and I'm annoyed. I have bills(including loans) as well as my sister. I cant get her off my back. She spends poorly and her cards are maxed out. She is married, but my stepfather doesnt give her money, what can I do?

Find her a good financial planner or financial firm who can assist her with reducing her debt and reducing how many credit cards and their limits. I know a woman who's husband did that for her because he was tired of it.

If your sister lives with her at her house with her and her kid then there may be some financial responsibility to assist with living expenses your mother is incurring by having her live there.

Why am I getting the feeling there is a lot more missing information to this story to form any type of educated opinion and advice?
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:44 AM
 
Location: usa
873 posts, read 1,358,521 times
Reputation: 313
I keep telling her no! She just requested me to give her cash because she over drew her account and last week she couldn't pay her car insurance. I am planning on going to grad school this year. I can't afford it
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:47 AM
 
1,458 posts, read 2,227,566 times
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Be strong.

Don't give here a dime. If she pleads real poverty, buy her milk, eggs, bread, peanut butter.
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:48 AM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,789,144 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by futureATLien View Post
I keep telling her no! She just requested me to give her cash because she over drew her account and last week she couldn't pay her car insurance. I am planning on going to grad school this year. I can't afford it
Then don't do it. A firm no and please don't ask for any should be enough. She's going to have to get her own bills in order and with your Stepfather.
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:49 AM
 
Location: usa
873 posts, read 1,358,521 times
Reputation: 313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
Find her a good financial planner or financial firm who can assist her with reducing her debt and reducing how many credit cards and their limits. I know a woman who's husband did that for her because he was tired of it.

If your sister lives with her at her house with her and her kid then there may be some financial responsibility to assist with living expenses your mother is incurring by having her live there.

Why am I getting the feeling there is a lot more missing information to this story to form any type of educated opinion and advice?
What information do you think is missing? She's always had bad spending habits. She likes to shop and dine out a lot. We've told her to stop. Obviously she hasn't
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:53 AM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,789,144 times
Reputation: 26716
Quote:
Originally Posted by futureATLien View Post
What information do you think is missing? She's always had bad spending habits. She likes to shop and dine out a lot. We've told her to stop. Obviously she hasn't
It's the issue and description of your sister still living there with her 4 year old child and how it came across as if she owes her nothing for living expenses because she has her own bills. That there raises the red flag.

Also, what is it exactly you are looking for people to tell you except for telling her 'NO.' It's something you already know so are you just looking for approval to do that or something else?

ETA: The issue of your Stepfather doing nothing even though they are married makes things questionable too. What's the deal with that?
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:54 AM
 
Location: usa
873 posts, read 1,358,521 times
Reputation: 313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
Then don't do it. A firm no and please don't ask for any should be enough. She's going to have to get her own bills in order and with your Stepfather.
This isn't new for her. She's been doing this since I was in college. Almost 10 years now! I'm fed up with it
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Old 01-04-2014, 10:58 AM
 
Location: usa
873 posts, read 1,358,521 times
Reputation: 313
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
It's the issue and description of your sister still living there with her 4 year old child and how it came across as if she owes her nothing for living expenses because she has her own bills. That there raises the red flag.

Also, what is it exactly you are looking for people to tell you except for telling her 'NO.' It's something you already know so are you just looking for approval to do that or something else?
My sister gives them money for food and the car insurance. They'll ask for money to go on dinner dates. Which is not the responsibility of sister and I to finance
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