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Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,699 posts, read 41,737,988 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007
That is always your answer for everything.
Yeah and interestingly people don't ask me BS questions, but I'm still popular at parties and friends still seek my advice. Funny thing happens when you are a blunt and no BS person.
Over Christmas I saw some relatives I hadn't seen in a decade. One relative, who is in her 70s, kept asking me the nosiest questions about things that I did not want to share, certainly with an entire group of people staring at me --- questions about my financial status, or a my personal life.
A few times I was able to divert the questions, and I resorted to "If I told you I'd have to kill you." (which she should have understood given that her son was in the military!) And then I responded, "Well that's nobody's business...(hint hint.) But she kept asking these privacy-invading questions.
Has anyone come up with a good, polite way to deflect questions like this without being rude? Otherwise I like this lady and I wouldn't want to alienate any of my relatives.
A non response works well for me. Like, Them: "Why aren't you married yet?" Me: "Interesting question. Say, that reminds me, my cat did the cutest thing the other day! Blah, blah, blah." People who ask overly personal questions seldom seem to have the mindset which allows them to pick up on polite hints. If they did, they'd never ask such questions in the first place. If you consistently meet them with an oblivious reply of your own, they'll eventually weary of the game. If they don't, tell them you've started smoking again and need to step outside.
I used to work for a world wide waste hauling company. I'm a female of Italian decent to boot. I worked in a managerial/administrative capacity and traveled a lot. People would ask me what I did for a living and I would just tell them, "I'm a garbage man." This used to produce great laughter from one of my girlfriends who ever heard me say it because immediately someone would say, "No, you're not" and my friend would be howling and say, "Yes, she actually is." I would tell them I liked it because I could furnish my house from the things I found on my route. But, you know, 'the family' really frowns on that, but looks the other way a lot.
My husband started out with a large waste firm. He was a controller there but had so many funny jokes - like "We Deliver Weddings" and "Our Trucks have Bad Breath"
Just say, "That's none of your effin' business. Now shut the eff up." Except don't really say eff. When she tells someone and they ask you about it, get a concerned look on your face, deny everything and ask if she's shown other signs of dementia.
Polite isn't my forte but it is good. "If I answer you then I'll have to kill you. You still want it?" They always say no. You have to have a dead serious look on your face though.
There are just some people in this world who have no second thoughts about crossing boundaries that they probably even don't know exist. Either it was the way they were raised or they just don't care about being rude - I think it's a sign of disrespect, too. I think it's best just to turn the tables on them - if they ask a personal question, just say that you rarely hear someone ask somebody else that and they must really want to know the answer to ask that even if it makes them uncomfortable to ask (we know that's not true) - then ask point blank why? And, lock eyes with them, like it is that interesting for you to know WHY they are asking. If all fails, know you are dealing with a jerk, and change the subject.
Yeah and interestingly people don't ask me BS questions, but I'm still popular at parties and friends still seek my advice. Funny thing happens when you are a blunt and no BS person.
I am very blunt too, but as they say, 'if you can't pound the facts, pound the table.'
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Trash was his cash LOL
