My wife hates my son's new GF (abuse, gossip, senior)
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OP--I don't really understand why you are dragging this thread on and on. I think you've received every bit of advice and opinion possible.
Don't you think it's about time to change the subject, close the thread, and move on?
So don't read the thread any longer if you aren't interested. OP keeps updating things as things change....it's not the end of the world if the thread is long.
Things between them are good. Yes, he's head over heels in love with her. If they're not texting they're together. Not as awkward as before. she comes over a lot, they don't do anything though
He's a teenager. Chances are he's not "head over heels in love with her." If you or anyone uses the word "love" with her, chances are she'll run for the hills.
So don't read the thread any longer if you aren't interested. OP keeps updating things as things change....it's not the end of the world if the thread is long.
My post -- directed at the OP only.
But hell yeah, Miss Scarlet, I get it : OP and company plan to discuss his life ad nauseum.
Don't worry, you guys can continue the hen party in peace.
Last edited by picklejuice; 05-13-2014 at 02:08 PM..
My guess is that she is projecting a lot of personal issues.
No she isn't. As a counselor I've seen and heard this story a hundred times. It's not rocket science to figure out what's going on. No one in this situation is unhappy enough to get into therapy and make the changes that are necessary. It's too hard. No one gets into therapy and sticks with it unless they are in considerable pain. So far, the OP isn't in that much pain and we know his wife isn't either. So, nothing will change.
You're SERIOUSLY delusional if you think Northwestern and UofC are as good as ND! Besides it was 20 YEARS ago!!! It's time to MOVE ON!!!!
Not the least bit delusional and Northwestern and Chicago are better than Notre Dame, now, and 20 years ago. Even if that were not true, it's still not a good excuse to leave your wife and child for 6 years! No one does that! I suspect that you are well aware of that. No one.
So you can stop with the silly excuse that you didn't have viable alternatives in Chicago. If you want the links for rankings 20 years ago, I'd be happy to get them for you, but you will won't find that ND ranks higher than Chicago and Northwestern. No one would choose ND over those two schools, assuming they could get into those two schools. Did you even apply to those schools? I'm betting you didn't. Your parents decided that you would go to ND whether you had a child to raise or not and you put their wants above your child's need to have a father the first 6 years of his life. You were young, you did what your parents told you to do. Shame on them!
If you want to change things now, get into counseling, stay in it, and find out how to change your life. If that's too hard, continue to take advice from strangers on a forum. It won't help you to get better or be happier, but it's a fun way to past the time and perhaps get those strangers to tell you that the fault is all your wife's and not your's. (Sorry I can't think of any other reason why you do it.) But that stranger validation hasn't changed anything at home, has it?
Lilly is making a lot of sense, but posters focusing on the wrong details like why she keeps saying 6 years or whether Notre Dame is a better school solves nothing.
I have followed all of his threads from the beginning, and what people seem to forget is that marriage can be like a jar of formaldehyde, preserving dysfunction in the same state for, yes, 20 years. Having money makes it even easier because it is easier to tolerate pain when you can afford distractions like shopping and vacations.
His wife has a TON of resentment because he was allowed to preserve his life path, which was a noble goal, but who could have foreseen the pain it would cause down the line?
Now Irish holds himself above reproach because he has done what he and his parents THOUGHT was the right thing way back when, while in reality it set up the dynamic he lives with today.
As long as he avoids accountability and REAL consequences, his marriage won't change. Lilly is right, and efforts to "'swat her away" as a newcomer are short-sighted.
Lilly is making a lot of sense, but posters focusing on the wrong details like why she keeps saying 6 years or whether Notre Dame is a better school solves nothing.
I have followed all of his threads from the beginning, and what people seem to forget is that marriage can be like a jar of formaldehyde, preserving dysfunction in the same state for, yes, 20 years. Having money makes it even easier because it is easier to tolerate pain when you can afford distractions like shopping and vacations.
His wife has a TON of resentment because he was allowed to preserve his life path, which was a noble goal, but who could have foreseen the pain it would cause down the line?
Now Irish holds himself above reproach because he has done what he and his parents THOUGHT was the right thing way back when, while in reality it set up the dynamic he lives with today.
As long as he avoids accountability and REAL consequences, his marriage won't change. Lilly is right, and efforts to "'swat her away" as a newcomer are short-sighted.
I stand by my previous post. Irish is no more and no less at fault than his wife. She married him, encouraged him to go to ND then refused to grow up and go with him. They we married with a child, and she refused to accompany him to school so their lives could be made better. They are both at fault.
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