Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
This is the mother who tried to dissuade her son from attending college. And now she doesn't want to "let" him have a job. Seems to me a mother who doesn't have the sense to encourage her son to get an education and develop a work ethic has very little right to start being concerned over her son's choice of girlfriends.
The OPs wife has serious mental issues. I feel sorry for the kid. I wonder what drama the wife will invent once the kid leaves the house for good and he is no longer the focus.
I'm 37, my wife is 37, and our son is 19. He has a new GF he met at some party around Halloween. This is his 2nd GF. My wife liked the first GF even though she was a bit promiscuous. She absolutely hates this one, Rachel. Rachel is kind of like the last GF, but significantly more " bad girl". She's got a Carpe Diem tattoo near the quote " What's meant to be will find a way". She's planning a third one, a butterfly ( how original). She drinks more than the first one and dresses pretty skimpy( even in the Chicago cold). Anyway, my wife hates her, seethes when Rachel's at the house and seethes when those two leave for their date. I don't mind her because I know its a phase. He's 19, his hormones, not his brain, are doing the thinking. He's probably having a grand time. My wife refers to this girl as " Kelly Bundy 2.0"( remember her?) I've never told my wife this, but Rachel is alot like my wife was 18 years ago( minus the tattoos). Should I just tell her " relax, he's not marrying her, she'll be gone by April"?
well, bingo, no wonder your wife dislikes this girl, b/c your wife was that girl herself once, and this gal reminds her of all the bad she did...we dislike those who remind us of ourselves...so, she has every reason to rebel, b/c this is HER son, and all us moms only want the best for our sons...however, there has to be a reason your son is choosing such promiscuous gals, wild girls, and I believe he also needs some help in that area, b/c these could be life changing choices if a child is brought into the picture...and maybe he is not marrying her, but there are women as such who will trick young men into marrying them by getting pregnant. Your wife fears this girl and her perception may be right...don't overlook a woman's perception. Just saying....
I wanted to talk the Rachel thing and the job thing out, just the two of us.
Me: I think you’re blowing this Rachel thing out of proportion, honestly, this is a puppy love thing, she’s not going after money or trying to get married.
Her: Well the puppy love has gone on way too long.
Me: What has she done that is so bad?
Her: the tattoos and the skanky clothes.
Me: But she hasn’t done anything. They’re not popping pills in the kitchen, they watch Netflix all night. I bet she’s a nice girl.
Her: You’re supposed to be on my side.
Me: I don’t take sides, I want this situation done.
Her: So you could care less if he carries on this relationship?
Me: He’s not marrying her. Another thing, why doesn’t he have a job? Lots of college kids work and do school
Her: Well, working takes away study time.
Me: How about when he’s done studying?
Her: That should be his free time.
Me: Which you know he’ll spend with her.
Her: I’m done talking about this. I’m right and you know it.
Me: Keep thinking that Sweetie.
Since when does a 19-year-old need his mom's permission to get a job? Many WWII vets who had families and combat experience by that age would laugh their asses off at the "problems" irishfan posts here.
Same sh*t, different girlfriend, OP.
Warning: Irishfan will post endless updates with stories of more of his wife's bad behavior, ask all kinds of questions, and not do a thing about it.
Hello Irish. I see your wife is still causing trouble. Sorry to hear that. Although your wife still has issues (to say the least) I think one of her main problems is that she just doesn't like "change". She throws fits and sulks and acts like a big baby when something happens to upset the status quo. But, and this is a big but, it does appear that if the change does happen anyway, she accepts it and moves on to something else. Am I wrong? I remember she was dead set against your son going to college but now she seems to accept that and is focusing on the girlfriend and his getting a job. I know it's not much, but it is progress in a weird sort of way. I am not saying this is healthy, but if this is how she is, then maybe you need to adjust how you deal with her going forward. Perhaps you shouldn't spin your wheels so much trying to reason with your wife and instead just continue to do what is best and right for your son.
Another thought:
Maybe your son has already figured this out in his own way. By what you have said, he seems to pretty much screen her out and does his own thing. Perhaps he's figured out she's all bark and no bite and that eventually she goes along with things.
Hello Irish. I see your wife is still causing trouble. Sorry to hear that. Although your wife still has issues (to say the least) I think one of her main problems is that she just doesn't like "change". She throws fits and sulks and acts like a big baby when something happens to upset the status quo. But, and this is a big but, it does appear that if the change does happen anyway, she accepts it and moves on to something else. Am I wrong? I remember she was dead set against your son going to college but now she seems to accept that and is focusing on the girlfriend and his getting a job. I know it's not much, but it is progress in a weird sort of way. I am not saying this is healthy, but if this is how she is, then maybe you need to adjust how you deal with her going forward. Perhaps you shouldn't spin your wheels so much trying to reason with your wife and instead just continue to do what is best and right for your son.
Another thought:
Maybe your son has already figured this out in his own way. By what you have said, he seems to pretty much screen her out and does his own thing. Perhaps he's figured out she's all bark and no bite and that eventually she goes along with things.
I wonder if it would get better if he simply did not talk to her about Rachel. What if, whenever she brings her up, he simply walks out of the room?
What if, whenever she brings her up, he simply walks out of the room?
Should I advise him to do that or stay out of it?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
). Anyway, my wife hates her, seethes when Rachel's at the house and seethes when those two leave for their date. I don't mind her because I know its a phase. He's 19, his hormones, not his brain, are doing the thinking. He's probably having a grand time. My wife refers to this girl as " Kelly Bundy 2.0"( remember her?) I've never told my wife this, but Rachel is alot like my wife was 18 years ago( minus the tattoos). Should I just tell her " relax, he's not marrying her, she'll be gone by April"?
