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Old 01-27-2014, 05:16 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 739,483 times
Reputation: 343

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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I hate to tell you this but my very honest take on this situation is as follows.

Be prepared to be a grandpa very, very soon and also be prepared to support your son, GF and the new baby for years (if not forever). Your wife has babied your son his entire life and I really doubt that he has the skills to take charge of his own life now or in the near future (unless something drastically changes).

I hope that you have a very good job as you probably will be supporting five people on your income for a long, long time.
I respect your opinion, but I don't think that'll happen. He buys condoms. He's seen for himself and been told how hard it is being a teenage parent. He doesn't want to become one.

 
Old 01-27-2014, 06:05 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,936 posts, read 17,236,141 times
Reputation: 40931
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I hate to tell you this but my very honest take on this situation is as follows.

Be prepared to be a grandpa very, very soon and also be prepared to support your son, GF and the new baby for years (if not forever). Your wife has babied your son his entire life and I really doubt that he has the skills to take charge of his own life now or in the near future (unless something drastically changes).

I hope that you have a very good job as you probably will be supporting five people on your income for a long, long time.
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
I respect your opinion, but I don't think that'll happen. He buys condoms. He's seen for himself and been told how hard it is being a teenage parent. He doesn't want to become one.
I hope that you are right, but I suspect that your son identifies more with his mother than with you. And, what he sees is an adult who is 37 years old and hasn't had to ever hold a job, nor is planning on ever having to work, yet has a very cushy life.

I really don't think that he sees being a teenage parent as a big a problem as you think that he does. Of course, I may be totally wrong here but all those little signs that you wrote about, such as him never insisting on getting a job and not insisting on going to college right after HS (unless I'm remembering it incorrectly) lead me to think that way.
 
Old 01-27-2014, 11:21 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 739,483 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I hope that you are right, but I suspect that your son identifies more with his mother than with you. And, what he sees is an adult who is 37 years old and hasn't had to ever hold a job, nor is planning on ever having to work, yet has a very cushy life.

I really don't think that he sees being a teenage parent as a big a problem as you think that he does. Of course, I may be totally wrong here but all those little signs that you wrote about, such as him never insisting on getting a job and not insisting on going to college right after HS (unless I'm remembering it incorrectly) lead me to think that way.
Well, yeah, he saw him mom do that, before I get attacked for being old school or get called chauvinistic or misogynistic or whatever, let me say my piece. He saw his mom do that, I know women can work, I work with lots of bright women, most of them have MBAs. I doubt he'll want to follow the example of his mom, the barely high school graduate who waitressed a little in the early years( which I appreciate). I love my wife. I think she's beautiful, sweet( when she wants to be. Just a joke, stay calm), ( sometimes) delightfully sassy, and loving. I admire her guts to go through with raising a kid at 18 when she had the options of( as awful as it is) of abortion and adoption staring her in the face. She was an excellent mom when I was absent. My son has no problem going to college, we talked about that, we're working on the job thing. Let's say he has a kid with Rachel. One of them is going to have to step up to the plate and work. I believe if that happens he'll take the initiative.
 
Old 01-28-2014, 05:37 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,797 posts, read 41,495,107 times
Reputation: 82264
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
One of them is going to have to step up to the plate and work. I believe if that happens he'll take the initiative.
Unless Mommy doesn't want him to!

 
Old 01-28-2014, 09:10 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 739,483 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Unless Mommy doesn't want him to!

She would have to in that situation. I honestly just wish she was the mom she was to him 15 or 16 years ago.

Last edited by irishfan77; 01-28-2014 at 10:27 PM..
 
Old 01-29-2014, 11:11 AM
 
911 posts, read 855,014 times
Reputation: 1542
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
I hate to tell you this but my very honest take on this situation is as follows.

Be prepared to be a grandpa very, very soon and also be prepared to support your son, GF and the new baby for years (if not forever). Your wife has babied your son his entire life and I really doubt that he has the skills to take charge of his own life now or in the near future (unless something drastically changes).

I hope that you have a very good job as you probably will be supporting five people on your income for a long, long time.
Have to disagree....because that would mean we are all assuming that the birth control is the man's job. How do we know that she has zero interest in being a mom right now and is not taking birth control pills? I think a lot of assumptions are being made about this girl that may not be true.

just my 2 cents...
 
Old 01-31-2014, 12:34 AM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 739,483 times
Reputation: 343
Rachel came over for one of their Netflix dates last night. I went to the kitchen to grab a beer, he said “ hi”, she said “ hi”, I said “ hi”. Long story short I chilled with them all night and yes, they did drink. We talked about music, movies, compared their high school years to mine, and shared life stories. After she left I asked him if he was bothered at all that I was there. I wasn’t trying to come off like the wannabe “ hip parent”. He said he had no problem with it. I’ll never do it again though, once is enough. She seems cool, after talking to her. If she went to high school when I was in high school I guarantee she'd be in my wife's circle of friends and mine.
 
Old 01-31-2014, 02:25 AM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 739,483 times
Reputation: 343
of course I would keep that on the down low in front of my wife I don't need an argument about " How can you support that creature followed by an Italian rant leaving me confused. You'd think after knowing her for all these years I'd have the language down pat, but I don't. I really gotta work on this job thing. How does his mom expect him to get a real job with no past work experience whatsoever?

Last edited by irishfan77; 01-31-2014 at 02:45 AM..
 
Old 01-31-2014, 05:39 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
42,797 posts, read 41,495,107 times
Reputation: 82264
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
Rachel came over for one of their Netflix dates last night. I went to the kitchen to grab a beer, he said “ hi”, she said “ hi”, I said “ hi”. Long story short I chilled with them all night and yes, they did drink. We talked about music, movies, compared their high school years to mine, and shared life stories. After she left I asked him if he was bothered at all that I was there. I wasn’t trying to come off like the wannabe “ hip parent”. He said he had no problem with it. I’ll never do it again though, once is enough. She seems cool, after talking to her. If she went to high school when I was in high school I guarantee she'd be in my wife's circle of friends and mine.
As I read this, I was really worried you were gonna say you would have dated her.
 
Old 01-31-2014, 07:41 AM
 
6,475 posts, read 9,899,770 times
Reputation: 10909
Good to see you shared some time with them.

I also thought you were going to say you would have dated her. LOL
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