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Old 02-02-2014, 12:31 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 739,075 times
Reputation: 343

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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post

Can you imagine your wife having the responsibilities of the vast majority of other wives in America, working a 40 to 60 hour week plus a 30 to 90 minutes commute each day and then having to run all of the errands, plus doing all the cooking, cleaning & evening child care?

Is she planning on being a SAHM after your son moves away to college? When he is 30 years old and living out of state? When he is 40 years old and married with a family? At some point she stops being a Stay At Home Mother. I am sure that there are women out there who have never worked a day in their adult lives (probably inherited wealth or trophy wives), but I am 61 years old and I personally have never even met ONE woman like that.
No, I can't see her doing that. My guess is after he leaves, she'll just stay at home, sleep until noon, watch TV all day, and then cook dinner before watching more TV and heading to bed.

 
Old 02-02-2014, 12:45 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 29,984,374 times
Reputation: 32387
Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress View Post
You can always suggest she get a job to pay for the housecleaning and gardener! LOL
 
Old 02-02-2014, 12:53 PM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,985 posts, read 14,628,164 times
Reputation: 14868
I had a long talk with my son about the need to marry a partner, and not a liability. He married a partner and an asset. You married a liability - an albatross.
 
Old 02-02-2014, 12:56 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 92,013,162 times
Reputation: 30379
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Is she planning on being a SAHM after your son moves away to college? When he is 30 years old and living out of state? When he is 40 years old and married with a family? At some point she stops being a Stay At Home Mother. I am sure that there are women out there who have never worked a day in their adult lives (probably inherited wealth or trophy wives), but I am 61 years old and I personally have never even met ONE woman like that.
My nest is empty. I haven't gotten around to going back to work. I've been thinking a lot about it for the past two years. I'm not wealthy or a trophy wife. We just live very far below our means. I know plenty of women who have remained Stay At Home Spouses after their nest emptied. They're not wealthy or trophy wives either. I and they are nothing like the OP's wife though. She's something special.
 
Old 02-02-2014, 01:15 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 739,075 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
My nest is empty. I haven't gotten around to going back to work. I've been thinking a lot about it for the past two years. I'm not wealthy or a trophy wife. We just live very far below our means. I know plenty of women who have remained Stay At Home Spouses after their nest emptied. They're not wealthy or trophy wives either. I and they are nothing like the OP's wife though. She's something special.
Maybe those 3 years of waitressing zapped all of her energy to work again.
 
Old 02-02-2014, 01:19 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,890 posts, read 17,203,069 times
Reputation: 40792
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
She obviously thinks that you are a mule (or more likely a jack-a**).

Can you imagine your wife having the responsibilities of the vast majority of other wives in America, working a 40 to 60 hour week plus a 30 to 90 minutes commute each day and then having to run all of the errands, plus doing all the cooking, cleaning & evening child care?

Is she planning on being a SAHM after your son moves away to college? When he is 30 years old and living out of state? When he is 40 years old and married with a family? At some point she stops being a Stay At Home Mother. I am sure that there are women out there who have never worked a day in their adult lives (probably inherited wealth or trophy wives), but I am 61 years old and I personally have never even met ONE woman like that.
After thinking more about SAHM who became empty nesters, I do know one woman who did this. She recently finished a 500 page book on family history and genealogy and is now starting a book on her side of the family. I really doubt that Irishfan's wife will be engaging in a productive hobby or volunteer work.

Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
No, I can't see her doing that. My guess is after he leaves, she'll just stay at home, sleep until noon, watch TV all day, and then cook dinner before watching more TV and heading to bed.
I am speechless.


What will you have to talk about over dinner or on weekends?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
My nest is empty. I haven't gotten around to going back to work. I've been thinking a lot about it for the past two years. I'm not wealthy or page a trophy wife. We just live very far below our means. I know plenty of women who have remained Stay At Home Spouses after their nest emptied. They're not wealthy or trophy wives either. I and they are nothing like the OP's wife though. She's something special.
It is possible that a wife nearer to retirement age, who volunteers, has a lot of fulfilling hobbies & interests, helps out family or is a true "help mate" to her spouse and whose spouse has a great income may not go back to work in her 50s but Irishfan's wife is only 37 (incidentally, my age when my last child born). There may be more women out there doing that but since I was a working mother all my life I didn't really know a lot of SAHM's (of high school and college age children). I'm not starting an argument, I personally just didn't know them.

I agree that Irishfan's wife is really, really "something special".
 
Old 02-02-2014, 01:29 PM
 
7,361 posts, read 13,177,847 times
Reputation: 8923
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
Maybe those 3 years of waitressing zapped all of her energy to work again.


O Yea, that's so hard. Stop trying to feed into her "victimization".

The previous poster got it right. Your wife is an albatross-- as to why you're interested/attracted to that sort of thing, I would suggest getting into that discussion with your psychologist. It indicates a void within you that needs addressing. You should be aiming for her to be self sufficient and fulfilled... which she's not and will never be as long you're enabling that vapid lifestyle. What happens if you die tomorrow? You have 2 dependent adults that are not ready for what happens afterward. I wish you cared more about your wife and son more to do something about that.
 
Old 02-02-2014, 01:38 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 739,075 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inkpoe View Post


O Yea, that's so hard. Stop trying to feed into her "victimization".

The previous poster got it right. Your wife is an albatross-- as to why you're interested/attracted to that sort of thing, I would suggest getting into that discussion with your psychologist. It indicates a void within you that needs addressing. You should be aiming for her to be self sufficient and fulfilled... which she's not and will never be as long you're enabling that vapid lifestyle. What happens if you die tomorrow? You have 2 dependent adults that are not ready for what happens afterward. I wish you cared more about your wife and son more to do something about that.
My waitressing comment was sarcasm.
 
Old 02-02-2014, 01:49 PM
 
7,361 posts, read 13,177,847 times
Reputation: 8923
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
My waitressing comment was sarcasm.
That doesn't invalidate my second portion of the comment. Seriously, wake up and take action before it's too late.
 
Old 02-02-2014, 04:10 PM
 
43,012 posts, read 92,013,162 times
Reputation: 30379
Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
It is possible that a wife nearer to retirement age, who volunteers, has a lot of fulfilling hobbies & interests, helps out family or is a true "help mate" to her spouse and whose spouse has a great income may not go back to work in her 50s but Irishfan's wife is only 37.
That's an excellent point. None of the women I know had empty nests in their mid-thirties.
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