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Valentine's day was nice. Trying to find an, and I know there's no easy way with her, easy and nice way to tell her to get a job or start contributing to the housework. Sure her rebuttal will be . " Are we broke"? Or " I'm not your slave". This'll hard but necessary.
I think you should have a serious conversation about the next phase of your lives. You can tell her what you want. She can tell you what she wants. They won't match, so that would be a good time to suggest some counseling to try to come to an agreement about where your life goes from here. If she won't go and won't compromise, you can leave her, or spend the rest of your life living the way she wants.
The OP has already done "actual" ultimatums-- the problem lies in the fact that he never carries it out throughly. As per the previous thread, he went as far as to set an appointment with a divorce lawyer (with his wife's knowledge)... He never did clarify and ignores any questions asking if he actually went. So the issue became moot as it became very clear the OP isn't looking for any actual change that he has to help create.
I don't think the wife getting a job is the correct solution and he didn't help his case by telling her recently that if she didn't want a job, then she didn't have to. He needs to be pushing for therapy -- but notice he's not even trying to push for that. Him taking the task of pushing for her getting a job or "contributing" to the empty household (as the son was living in the pool house, away from Mom) is a nonstarter. He knows that, which is why he's doing it.
Wow. Thanks for this info. I glanced over the other threads but didn't read every post.
If he's already threatened to see a divorce lawyer, I'd make a counseling appointment and say "if you do not go, we will go talk to a divorce lawyer." If she refuses to go to both, then I think he should go to the lawyer and then bring back some type of papers/information (not actual divorce papers) to show her that he went.
Valentine's day was nice. Trying to find an, and I know there's no easy way with her, easy and nice way to tell her to get a job or start contributing to the housework. Sure her rebuttal will be . " Are we broke"? Or " I'm not your slave". This'll hard but necessary.
Irish, what do you mean by "start contributing to the housework"? Doesn't she do that now? You never did hire a maid for her, did you? I really don't see a need for her to get a job. If she's the one keeping up the house, leave it alone. As long as you have the power to nix any hired help, leave it alone. You know you won't divorce, so just leave it alone.
What it's been a month? Wife and I still fight, but less often, it's more bickering than fighting. His college and job stuff is coming along. He has a job now( much to her dismay) and she still hates Rachel. He begged me to bring Rachel on break with us, but I told him that Mom would snap and unleash a new meaning to the term " living hell"
It's been at least 3 months and Rachel is still around? I feel sorry for her and your son on many levels. Guess she's not completely horrible since she's still dating him.
It's been at least 3 months and Rachel is still around? I feel sorry for her and your son on many levels. Guess she's not completely horrible since she's still dating him.
he and I try to keep them separate. If its Rachel/my son date night at the house, than its wife/me date night on the town.
Wifey needs to get over herself. Everything isn't about her.
I agree.
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