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Old 03-14-2014, 12:06 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 741,404 times
Reputation: 343

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Um ... no, you did not.


You need to understand that disengaging from her does NOT mean you should engage in immature behavior yourself, like the silent treatment. All you did was provoke her by ignoring her.There is a big difference in what you did and NOT allowing yourself to remain a captive audience for another complaint fest.

Next time, don't ignore. Just say, "I don't want to hear your complaints about it anymore. It's not healthy." Then start a new conversation. The rest of that stuff was pretty uncalled for, actually. Not fair fighting at all.

Also, I comment on your situations as if they are real, but honestly all your "dialogues" always sound completely fictional. Is this a hobby for you??
I paraphrase a lot of it. You know, you don't HAVE to be on this thread if it annoys you so much. I don't go onto threads that are just going to make me mad. I don't go in there trying to rip into the OP. I swear every time I see you have the most recent post all I can think is " Oh here we go what's the bashing going to entail this time". So I guess you can leave the thread, in fact, I'd prefer if you did.

 
Old 03-14-2014, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,319 posts, read 41,880,675 times
Reputation: 83216
FINALLY ... got a rise out of you.


THAT is how you respond to Wifey when she throws a fit. Keep it up.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 12:26 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 30,100,106 times
Reputation: 32406
It would have been better to say "I know you don't like her but I don't want to hear about it every time she's here. He's an adult there is nothing to discuss."

Bringing up old stuff in a new argument is immature. That's something my college boyfriend did. If she still has to bring up how hard her life.was all those years ago, then she needs to go to therapy to get over it. Likewise throwing it in her face that you give her money to shop was not pertinent to the conversation.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 12:36 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 741,404 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
FINALLY ... got a rise out of you.


THAT is how you respond to Wifey when she throws a fit. Keep it up.
haha, did we just kind of agree on something?
 
Old 03-14-2014, 12:38 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 741,404 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
It would have been better to say "I know you don't like her but I don't want to hear about it every time she's here. He's an adult there is nothing to discuss."

Bringing up old stuff in a new argument is immature. That's something my college boyfriend did. If she still has to bring up how hard her life.was all those years ago, then she needs to go to therapy to get over it. Likewise throwing it in her face that you give her money to shop was not pertinent to the conversation.
I was just pointing out to her that I'm not an a-hole. If I were I'd give her $20 and say " make it last" and I definitely wouldn't, when she wanted a car, said " name it, I'll buy it" I would said " Guess what, I bought you a Subaru, have fun". I know husbands who do that. I don't think or see myself as this cold-hearted husband because I ask certain things of her.

Last edited by irishfan77; 03-14-2014 at 12:52 PM..
 
Old 03-14-2014, 12:55 PM
 
Location: Texas
14,969 posts, read 14,218,645 times
Reputation: 4563
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
Um ... no, you did not.


You need to understand that disengaging from her does NOT mean you should engage in immature behavior yourself, like the silent treatment. All you did was provoke her by ignoring her.There is a big difference in what you did and NOT allowing yourself to remain a captive audience for another complaint fest.

Next time, don't ignore. Just say, "I don't want to hear your complaints about it anymore. It's not healthy." Then start a new conversation. The rest of that stuff was pretty uncalled for, actually. Not fair fighting at all.

Also, I comment on your situations as if they are real, but honestly all your "dialogues" always sound completely fictional. Is this a hobby for you??
I actually think there's nothing wrong with the "silent treatment." It is absolutely better than continuing to argue and doesn't give her the chance to somehow steer the subsequent conversation back to Rachel.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Texas
14,969 posts, read 14,218,645 times
Reputation: 4563
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
I was just pointing out to her that I'm not an a-hole. If I were I'd give her $20 and say " make it last" and I definitely wouldn't, when she wanted a car, said " name it, I'll buy it" I would said " Guess what, I bought you a Subaru, have fun". I know husbands who do that. I don't think or see myself as this cold-hearted husband because I ask certain things of her.
The whole relationship sounds like it's based on you buying things for her or otherwise spending money on her or giving her money.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 01:02 PM
 
6,475 posts, read 9,932,890 times
Reputation: 10919
I think you gave her what she deserved without being a jerk about it. I say keep it up.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 01:11 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 30,100,106 times
Reputation: 32406
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
I was just pointing out to her that I'm not an a-hole. If I were I'd give her $20 and say " make it last" and I definitely wouldn't, when she wanted a car, said " name it, I'll buy it" I would said " Guess what, I bought you a Subaru, have fun". I know husbands who do that. I don't think or see myself as this cold-hearted husband because I ask certain things of her.
I don't think you're a jerk, but the money has nothing to do with that. Jerks still give their wives money.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 01:18 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 741,404 times
Reputation: 343
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat View Post
I don't think you're a jerk, but the money has nothing to do with that. Jerks still give their wives money.
But even more jerks, at least one's I've encountered, keep their money to themselves and have the attitude of " I make the money, it's all mine, take this 20 and leave me alone" A guy I work with is like that, he's a good guy and we've double dated, but there's, and maybe it's because my wife is spoiled, something up when he drives a brand new Benz( buys a new one every year it seems,) and his wife is bought a 2002 GMC Envoy.

Last edited by irishfan77; 03-14-2014 at 01:30 PM..
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