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Old 03-14-2014, 01:54 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 30,100,106 times
Reputation: 32406

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Sigh. so all you have to offer her is money and all she has to offer you is? Her looks maybe? Is that the only thing you could come up with to prove you aren't a jerk?

 
Old 03-14-2014, 02:16 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 741,404 times
Reputation: 343
All I'm saying is her life could be a lot worse, not even the money, I hardly ask her to do anything.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,332 posts, read 41,880,675 times
Reputation: 83242
Quote:
Originally Posted by afoigrokerkok View Post
I actually think there's nothing wrong with the "silent treatment." It is absolutely better than continuing to argue and doesn't give her the chance to somehow steer the subsequent conversation back to Rachel.
There is a lot wrong with the silent treatment. It is aggression; it's just PASSIVE-aggression.

It only provokes people. Disengaging is totally different from ignoring.

Last edited by BirdieBelle; 03-14-2014 at 02:41 PM..
 
Old 03-14-2014, 02:57 PM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 741,404 times
Reputation: 343
I just wish I could hear this from her. " I've been very blessed and my life is great. Was it hard at the beginning? yeah, but I moved past it and now I'm happy"
 
Old 03-14-2014, 03:00 PM
 
13,170 posts, read 20,800,491 times
Reputation: 35478
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
All I'm saying is her life could be a lot worse, not even the money, I hardly ask her to do anything.
And, that's what you get in return. I used to think your wife was the problem, but now I think she's living the American Dream. The problem is you, Irish. You are the great welfare state in your own household, and I say that as a diehard liberal. The difference is, your wife isn't a victim of poverty, or the system, she's working it to her advantage.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Texas
14,969 posts, read 14,218,645 times
Reputation: 4563
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
I just wish I could hear this from her. " I've been very blessed and my life is great. Was it hard at the beginning? yeah, but I moved past it and now I'm happy"
She probably isn't happy.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 03:10 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,332 posts, read 41,880,675 times
Reputation: 83242
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
I just wish I could hear this from her. " I've been very blessed and my life is great. Was it hard at the beginning? yeah, but I moved past it and now I'm happy"
That would be nice to hear.

Have you ever TOLD her that you'd like to hear that?

The thing that occurs to me is that she probably is NOT happy, and that's why she never says what you want to hear and why she acts that way. The fact that 20 years later she brought up "I was a teen mom" so quickly in that argument last night is one indicator of what she is carrying around with her.

Thinking that their wife may not be happy "IN SPITE OF ALL I HAVE PROVIDED FOR YOU" is VERY undesirable for most men, though, and makes it easy to go into denial.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 04:34 PM
 
Location: here
24,839 posts, read 30,100,106 times
Reputation: 32406
Quote:
Originally Posted by irishfan77 View Post
All I'm saying is her life could be a lot worse, not even the money, I hardly ask her to do anything.
You don't get it, and you probably never will.

There is so much more to a happy marriage than a man who has the means to spend money and a woman who does nothing but spend it. She's not happy. You're not happy. No one is happy. If you don't change something, no one will ever be happy.

The more you post, the more apparent it becomes that your situation is just as much your fault as it is hers. You have trained her to be the way she is, like you'd train a toddler or a dog. There is no love or affection, only bribery. It's sick, really. It is completely dysfunctional. She may act like a spoiled child, but you treat her like one, which is just as bad.
 
Old 03-14-2014, 10:18 PM
 
11,269 posts, read 8,436,427 times
Reputation: 20467
Without reading all 11+ pages of this thread I want to say this: you alienate her and you will alienate him. I'm not overjoyed but will tolerate and be nice because I want my son to come around whether he brings her or not. He's happy with her so that says something.
 
Old 03-15-2014, 09:48 AM
 
Location: the Chicago suburbs
818 posts, read 741,404 times
Reputation: 343
When I was buying her the stuff in the beginning, like right when I started my career, I wanted to do it. I WANTED to buy her a house, WANTED to buy her a car, WANTED to give her a credit card and let her loose in Nordstrom, because I was so happy with my life and I wanted to give her everything.
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