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Old 01-20-2014, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
6,105 posts, read 7,238,760 times
Reputation: 4484

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I think he has an off-the-cuff blunt sense of humor, very lacking in political correctness to the point of risking losing his license when he makes a similar joke to the right person and was trying to bond with you in a strange way, my wife is Italian, you're Italian.
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Old 01-20-2014, 07:56 PM
 
5,678 posts, read 5,913,534 times
Reputation: 4418
I think you did the right thing. He is a jerk and that is not your problem.
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Old 01-20-2014, 08:45 PM
 
2,839 posts, read 4,977,630 times
Reputation: 3702
That's terrible, but I think you did well not saying anything.

When I got married (I'm middle eastern, my husband is American), my mom put up a picture of my husband and I together (I think on FB), and someone actually commented something to the extent of "what a shame one of our girls married an American" or something. My mom was pretty annoyed with the comment (as was I) and just removed him from her friends list.

Point is, people can be jerks.
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Old 01-21-2014, 02:36 AM
 
25,953 posts, read 26,714,146 times
Reputation: 26716
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsydevil82 View Post
Should I have said something?
I would have said, "Is this a problem for you?" or "I sense this is a problem for you."

But everyone thinks of the right thing they coulda, woulda, shoulda said after the fact.
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Old 01-21-2014, 02:50 AM
 
16,487 posts, read 21,040,880 times
Reputation: 16171
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsydevil82 View Post
My job requires me to talk to attorneys on the phone all of the time. I got married in September & changed my name. I was speaking with an attorney this morning when he commented on my name change. He said he doesn't care for my new name, and prefers a 'nice Italian name' (my maiden name is Italian). He also asked me what the nationality of my new name is, (it sounds Native American, but it's German) and when he said it sounds Native American, he sounded disgusted. I decided to be the bigger person, and remained professional, while not saying anything. Now I'm wishing I had given him a piece of my mind. Who does he think he is?? (he also felt the need to tell me that his wife is Italian, & that he is Jewish). I've noticed that a lot of attorney's will talk about last names, and will ask what nationality my married name is, but they are usually at least nice about it & will comment on how unique it is.

Should I have said something?
Despite what he said to you being rude, I think I would remain professional and drop it. Now if the same guy keeps doing this to you, then I would say something.
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Old 01-21-2014, 05:32 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,823 posts, read 2,391,413 times
Reputation: 2665
I'm glad I didn't say anything, either. I have some ongoing cases with him, and I'm sure more cases will come up with him. I'm fine with discussing the name, and it's uniqueness, but I'm not cool with someone being downright disrespectful.

I guess it's bound to happen to everyone at some point. There are just some real jerks in this world.
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Old 01-21-2014, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Europe
1,618 posts, read 2,776,689 times
Reputation: 1101
Forget the situation and don't spend too much time thinking about that kind of person, some people think they are better for being Jew or Italian or whatever, but their problem is so big that they are showing how ridicolous they are.
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Old 01-21-2014, 08:57 AM
 
Location: Mt. Lebanon
1,843 posts, read 1,938,183 times
Reputation: 1899
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
You did the right thing. You will never regret taking the high road. Now that you know he's a jerk, you can file him in your "jerk" drawer.
Absolutely. At work you want to be professional even if others are not. Who knows when or where you are going to meet or need or work with this other person and it's always, always, always good not to burn any bridges, not to antagonize people and keep everything nice and professionally, no matter what. Sometimes is hard but it's for your own benefit.
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Old 01-21-2014, 12:24 PM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,156,672 times
Reputation: 17199
Quote:
Originally Posted by jrsydevil82 View Post
My job requires me to talk to attorneys on the phone all of the time. I got married in September & changed my name. I was speaking with an attorney this morning when he commented on my name change. He said he doesn't care for my new name, and prefers a 'nice Italian name' (my maiden name is Italian). He also asked me what the nationality of my new name is, (it sounds Native American, but it's German) and when he said it sounds Native American, he sounded disgusted. I decided to be the bigger person, and remained professional, while not saying anything. Now I'm wishing I had given him a piece of my mind. Who does he think he is?? (he also felt the need to tell me that his wife is Italian, & that he is Jewish). I've noticed that a lot of attorney's will talk about last names, and will ask what nationality my married name is, but they are usually at least nice about it & will comment on how unique it is.

Should I have said something?
I'm curious how he "sounded disgusted". I'm pretty sure that was YOUR imagination.

It's a simple matter to just laugh it off when he said he prefers a nice Italian name since his wife is Italian.

Like "Oh, sorry hahahahaha". Or "Hey then why didn't you fix me up with your brother or son, then". Or some other silly answer.

Are you ACTUALLY from Jersey? Sounds pretty typical humor wise. That wouldn't have bothered me in the least, and I'm from Philly AND NJ.
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Old 01-22-2014, 09:00 AM
 
Location: New Jersey
1,823 posts, read 2,391,413 times
Reputation: 2665
Yes, I have lived in NJ all of my life. Why does that matter?

You can typically tell if someone is disappointed, or just interested, by the sound of their tone. How are you sure it was my imagination? I did say in my original post he outright told me he didn't care for my name.
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