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Americans also value their personal privacy. Nope, not living in a house where Grandma and Grandpa can hear me screwing my boyfriend.
That's one thing I just don't understand about today's young people. I realize many of them can't afford to live on their own, but when I was 21 and fresh out of school, I'd have sooner chewed my own arm off than live at home with my parents again. I got a roommate, we rented an apartment in a borderline area, and what we ate depended on what happy hour was giving away free food that day, but dang, we could come and go as we pleased and our business was our own. After that one year with her, I got my own place, and aside from living with one SO for a year and being married for a few years, I have not shared living quarters with anyone in the 20+ years since. I'd rather live in a small apartment and live minimally (hey, more stuff is just more stuff to clean, maintain, or fix, anyway), than live in a house where I have no privacy and no time alone. Gawd, and then to deal with relatives up in my face and my business all the time, on top of it?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Multigenerational living is an introvert's version of Hell.
It's interesting that you say "Multigenerational living is an introvert's version of Hell" and yet lived with roommates instead. I live with roommates and feel like I AM chewing off my arm at all times. It's miserable, but I pay more for a room in a 3 bedroom apartment than many people (including my parents) pay for their mortgage. Living on my own would be possible only if I decided to live paycheck to paycheck and forgo saving for retirement or emergencies - and I make a solidly middle class income. It's normal here for middle-class earners to live with roommates until they're in their 30s or living with a SO. If I could live at home in the basement away from my parents, pay money toward the mortgage, and save a significant amount of money - I would - even though my parents are pretty miserable people. Unfortunately, my parents live 1000 miles away and had no real job options when I tried to start my career there in 2010.
The people my age (26) that I know who still live at home all pay their way, are contributing to the family, and also are treated like adults. For instance, my coworker is 25 and spends less money paying 1/3 of her parents' mortgage and utilities than she could ever find living with roommates because he parents bought 20 years ago. The family has communal meals (which is also cheaper than potentially living with roommates who each have their own schedules and meal preferences, as in the case where I live), everyone is able to save more (her parents are putting her rent and utilities toward the mortgage so it will be paid off much quicker), and my friend doesn't have to answer to anyone. She will move out when she has paid off her student loan, has a year's salary in the bank for emergencies, and her salary supports living without roommates (about 50K).
Have you actually read anything about traditional Afghan culture? Please reference the post where I mentioned my childhood friend was resigned to marrying a guy back in Afghanistan because otherwise if she broke the marriage contract, his family was entitled to kill her family.
Oh, and maybe research a little of what happens to widows in Afghan society.
Is it necessary for me to read up on the culture to give an honest answer to a simple query?
There's LOTS about the culture that I don't like...at all...but that wasn't what the OP asked.
OP, not all Americans turn their backs on their elders once they get married, many are very supportive and keep them close..as you say you do.
original poster Bay Area Dave stirred the pot then ran away like a little girl when people called him on it.
He has no interest in answers or intelligent discussion,
just insulting Americans.
I hope this post withers away. He has already moved on to charm others.
It's interesting that you say "Multigenerational living is an introvert's version of Hell" and yet lived with roommates instead.
If you read my entire post you would see that I lived with a roommate for one year, and other than one SO and marriage, I have not lived with anyone else in the 20+ years since. I'm 47 now. You can also infer from my post, which talks about living off free happy hour food, that the one year was because neither of us could afford our own place because we were fresh out of college. It's not much different than your situation, only I got out of it faster than you can.
As I said, I'd rather live minimally with less disposable income than be miserable all the time. If you are miserable all the time because you feel that the only way you can save for retirement is to live with roommates, that is your choice. All I can say is that I lived in a very expensive part of the country (Arlington, VA) and managed to live on my own. My major trade-off was that I didn't have a car. A car would have been a waste of money where I lived, two blocks from a Metro, and still is.
In fact, the last two years of my college career, I shared a two-person suite in which I had my own bedroom, my suitemate had her own bedroom (four solid walls and a door for each of us), and we shared a bathroom and coat closet. Sharing a suite was better than having a single room on the hall and using communal showers and bathrooms. If the single rooms had bathrooms, I'd have gone for that. After my sophomore year, I didn't even want roommates in college.
People want the life they've grown used to having. If it's independent then that's what they will want. If it's "everyone under one roof" that will be the norm. The only time there is a problem is when someone is forced to go from one extreme to the other. I had a roommate once, then a husband, and now my youngest child. Someday I may live alone! My eldest has never lived alone, always has roommates, and can't imagine life any other way. It's just the way things work in her world and she's ok with that.
I've experienced various living situations in my life. The key is to be flexible.
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