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Never really had a discussion about this before. I know it isn't limited to Americans but I live in America. In my culture (Afghanistan) the parents live with the son or daughter For life. The idea is your parents need you when they are elderly, and it is your duty to take care of huge a s they took care of you. That's means your wife and parents and kids all in there same house. A large family indeed. That is probably what I will be doing. I will be living with my parents until I am established enough to get my own place, then I will marry. Never could I allow either of my parents to go to nursing homes.
Never really had a discussion about this before. I know it isn't limited to Americans but I live in America. In my culture (Afghanistan) the parents live with the son or daughter For life. The idea is your parents need you when they are elderly, and it is your duty to take care of huge a s they took care of you. That's means your wife and parents and kids all in there same house. A large family indeed. That is probably what I will be doing. I will be living with my parents until I am established enough to get my own place, then I will marry.
That's generally the idea here in North America, friend.
I've hardly turned my back on my mum. If my mother needs to live with me when she is elderly and needs taking care of, or right now for that matter, I will do everything in my power to make that happen. But, I'm sure, no...positive, she's enjoying her retierment doing whatever the hell she wants, whenever the hell she wants, WITHOUT her boys around.
Until then, I've got alot of naked walking around in my house to do.
That's generally the idea here in North America, friend.
I've hardly turned my back on my mum. If my mother needs to live with me when she is elderly and needs taking care of, or right now for that matter, I will do everything in my power to make that happen. But, I'm sure, no...positive, she's enjoying her retierment doing whatever the hell she wants, whenever the hell she wants, WITHOUT her boys around.
Until then, I've got alot of naked walking around in my house to do.
The majority of households I have seen throughout my life have not had grandparents present.
The majority of households I have seen throughout my life have not had grandparents present.
Meh. My grandma is 93 and lives with her daughter. When building his house, a friend of mines father specifically built a small apartment on the side of the house for his wifes mother/father.
Meh. My grandma is 93 and lives with her daughter. When building his house, a friend of mines father specifically built a small apartment on the side of the house for his wifes mother/father.
Will women think I am a loser when it Ellen me I am 25 and live with my mom? If I explain why will an American woman think it's just an excuse to be a bum?
Will women think I am a loser when it Ellen me I am 25 and live with my mom? If I explain why will an American woman think it's just an excuse to be a bum?
You're going to have a really hard time meeting anyone who isn't Arab if you phrase your questions like you did in the title.
Never really had a discussion about this before. I know it isn't limited to Americans but I live in America. In my culture (Afghanistan) the parents live with the son or daughter For life. The idea is your parents need you when they are elderly, and it is your duty to take care of huge a s they took care of you. That's means your wife and parents and kids all in there same house. A large family indeed. That is probably what I will be doing. I will be living with my parents until I am established enough to get my own place, then I will marry. Never could I allow either of my parents to go to nursing homes.
My family comes from a culture with similar values (not Afghan) and my husband's culture is about as opposite as that gets (Quebec, where one child and nursing homes are the standard).
It's really hard to comprehend each other in that sense, but basically you are raised to believe it is right, so you generally do. You are raised to be much more independent to start with - it's normal to have daycare, nanny, babysitters - rather than your mother staying home or your grandparent doing the caregiving. My husband's mother sees our children twice a year even though she lives nearby - they are an inconvenience to her adult lifestyle. This horrifies my parents... but it's not unusual. His dad is an exception, he takes care of our boys. I'm happy their grandfather watches them from time to time, rather than pay someone from outside the house.
Likewise, parents from more independent cultures are more financially set. My husband's parents are well-off with pensions and plans for retirement. My parents have nothing, because they have us kids. So, I can see both ways I suppose.
Elderly Americans value their independence. They don't want to live with their children. They'd much rather live their own life.
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