U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 01-22-2014, 02:35 AM
 
620 posts, read 960,991 times
Reputation: 476

Advertisements

Never really had a discussion about this before. I know it isn't limited to Americans but I live in America. In my culture (Afghanistan) the parents live with the son or daughter For life. The idea is your parents need you when they are elderly, and it is your duty to take care of huge a s they took care of you. That's means your wife and parents and kids all in there same house. A large family indeed. That is probably what I will be doing. I will be living with my parents until I am established enough to get my own place, then I will marry. Never could I allow either of my parents to go to nursing homes.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 01-22-2014, 02:43 AM
 
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,267 posts, read 13,111,136 times
Reputation: 13459
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaDave View Post
Never really had a discussion about this before. I know it isn't limited to Americans but I live in America. In my culture (Afghanistan) the parents live with the son or daughter For life. The idea is your parents need you when they are elderly, and it is your duty to take care of huge a s they took care of you. That's means your wife and parents and kids all in there same house. A large family indeed. That is probably what I will be doing. I will be living with my parents until I am established enough to get my own place, then I will marry.


That's generally the idea here in North America, friend.

I've hardly turned my back on my mum. If my mother needs to live with me when she is elderly and needs taking care of, or right now for that matter, I will do everything in my power to make that happen. But, I'm sure, no...positive, she's enjoying her retierment doing whatever the hell she wants, whenever the hell she wants, WITHOUT her boys around.

Until then, I've got alot of naked walking around in my house to do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2014, 02:49 AM
 
620 posts, read 960,991 times
Reputation: 476
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnatomicflux View Post
That's generally the idea here in North America, friend.

I've hardly turned my back on my mum. If my mother needs to live with me when she is elderly and needs taking care of, or right now for that matter, I will do everything in my power to make that happen. But, I'm sure, no...positive, she's enjoying her retierment doing whatever the hell she wants, whenever the hell she wants, WITHOUT her boys around.

Until then, I've got alot of naked walking around in my house to do.

The majority of households I have seen throughout my life have not had grandparents present.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2014, 02:54 AM
 
Location: Windsor, Ontario, Canada
11,267 posts, read 13,111,136 times
Reputation: 13459
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaDave View Post
The majority of households I have seen throughout my life have not had grandparents present.


Meh. My grandma is 93 and lives with her daughter. When building his house, a friend of mines father specifically built a small apartment on the side of the house for his wifes mother/father.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2014, 02:55 AM
 
620 posts, read 960,991 times
Reputation: 476
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magnatomicflux View Post
Meh. My grandma is 93 and lives with her daughter. When building his house, a friend of mines father specifically built a small apartment on the side of the house for his wifes mother/father.
Will women think I am a loser when it Ellen me I am 25 and live with my mom? If I explain why will an American woman think it's just an excuse to be a bum?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2014, 03:21 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,416 posts, read 26,166,401 times
Reputation: 16496
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaDave View Post
Will women think I am a loser when it Ellen me I am 25 and live with my mom? If I explain why will an American woman think it's just an excuse to be a bum?

You're going to have a really hard time meeting anyone who isn't Arab if you phrase your questions like you did in the title.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2014, 03:23 AM
 
620 posts, read 960,991 times
Reputation: 476
Quote:
Originally Posted by burgler09 View Post
You're going to have a really hard time meeting anyone who isn't Arab if you phrase your questions like you did in the title.
I'm on my ipad it corrected my spelling wrong. But that was racist. And afghan =\= Arab.

Ignorant.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2014, 03:25 AM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,416 posts, read 26,166,401 times
Reputation: 16496
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaDave View Post
I'm on my ipad it corrected my spelling wrong. But that was racist. And afghan =\= Arab.

Ignorant.

It's just as ignorant to suggest that all Americans turn their backs on their families.

Since when are there no Arabs in Afghanistan? lol
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2014, 05:32 AM
 
3,072 posts, read 4,264,995 times
Reputation: 6511
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayAreaDave View Post
Never really had a discussion about this before. I know it isn't limited to Americans but I live in America. In my culture (Afghanistan) the parents live with the son or daughter For life. The idea is your parents need you when they are elderly, and it is your duty to take care of huge a s they took care of you. That's means your wife and parents and kids all in there same house. A large family indeed. That is probably what I will be doing. I will be living with my parents until I am established enough to get my own place, then I will marry. Never could I allow either of my parents to go to nursing homes.
My family comes from a culture with similar values (not Afghan) and my husband's culture is about as opposite as that gets (Quebec, where one child and nursing homes are the standard).

It's really hard to comprehend each other in that sense, but basically you are raised to believe it is right, so you generally do. You are raised to be much more independent to start with - it's normal to have daycare, nanny, babysitters - rather than your mother staying home or your grandparent doing the caregiving. My husband's mother sees our children twice a year even though she lives nearby - they are an inconvenience to her adult lifestyle. This horrifies my parents... but it's not unusual. His dad is an exception, he takes care of our boys. I'm happy their grandfather watches them from time to time, rather than pay someone from outside the house.

Likewise, parents from more independent cultures are more financially set. My husband's parents are well-off with pensions and plans for retirement. My parents have nothing, because they have us kids. So, I can see both ways I suppose.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-22-2014, 05:43 AM
 
1,380 posts, read 1,880,753 times
Reputation: 2383
Elderly Americans value their independence. They don't want to live with their children. They'd much rather live their own life.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Non-Romantic Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:26 PM.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top