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I seriously love you ladies. You both made me feel a whole lot better than I have been.I want everyone to be civil. Nobody wants this, I don't even think MIL wants this. She truly believes I have wronged her in some way.
You need to stop caring about what she thinks, wants and does. If people can't be civil, they're just not in your life. It's as simple as that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiLShorty4lyfe
ETA: I had to point out to DH that she has not asked him about/liked a facebook post or text him about myself or our daugther since the blow up at thanksgiving. What kind of person does that?
You're feeding into the drama by paying attention to what this woman does and doesn't do. She sounds like a horrible person. Just let her go away.
She didnt disown him, she's having a baby temper tantrum because things didnt go her own way. You and your husband can only control your own actions, not hers. If she wants to act stupid, let her. Nothing you can do about it.
She is hurting herself more than she's hurting you two. Sooner or later she will come around and start talking to him again. Or she wont.
Be proud of your husband, that couldnt be easy, standing up to his mother. But right is right.
She is having a pity party for herself for sure. Her co-workers called DH that day this happened and said "We are driiving your mom home, she is a wreck and cannot be consoled. She is the only mother you have." Then he also heard from his good friend who felt getting involved would help her. Unfortunately, this is going to alienate me from her, his friends, his family... that sucks as a wife!!
She's a drama queen manipulator. Not all mothers deserve to have relationships with their children. Your husband should be able to rally his own friends to his side. If he can't, they're not friends or he's too easily influenced by drama and manipulation. He really needs to tell everyone to mind their own business. You need to acknowledge that you have your own little drama personality in your worrying so damn much about what other people think.
All I can say is that a group of "adults" fighting on FB makes me rethink my definition of adult.
Well clearly it did not start on facebook. Lord have mercy. I havent spoken to this woman since she last visited, when she left in a puff of smoke for someone telling her she humiliated our daughter. It's the only interaction we have, and its not with eachother. She was awaiting the moment to start some shyt. I am only lucky enough to have pre-empted the issue to DH, which is why he didnt turn and tell me "its in my head" when she was telling me not to throw stones and what a terrible person I am.
ETA: And nothing has been on facebook since I deleted the post. And her. The rest of the conversations were via text message between MIL and DH. Why? I dont know. I would have picked up my phone and told my parents what upset me and gotten to a resolution before hanging up. They are not programmed that way. And I was far too proud of my husband for FINALLY sticking up for me to tell him anything about the way he did it!
She didnt disown him, she's having a baby temper tantrum because things didnt go her own way. You and your husband can only control your own actions, not hers. If she wants to act stupid, let her. Nothing you can do about it.
She is hurting herself more than she's hurting you two. Sooner or later she will come around and start talking to him again. Or she wont.
Be proud of your husband, that couldnt be easy, standing up to his mother. But right is right.
I agree, this too will most likely pass. The important thing is that nothing is said by you to keep it ongoing.
I don't agree that the MIL is a horrible person who is getting what she deserves, at least based on what the OP describes as a different family culture. Sometimes we need to remember that our background may be completely different from what our spouses had, and what is an insult to one, is not viewed that way by the other.
Keep quiet OP, let tempers cool, and when you hear from your MIL next, remain cordial. Your job is making sure your daughter doesn't bear the brunt of any criticism from her grandmother, which you've already done. Your husband can deal with MIL on his own terms.
At one point, my MIL threw a hissy fit over something, and my DH said, "Mom, don't ask me to choose between you and my wife because you won't like the answer." That shut her up pretty quickly. She's not perfectly behaved now, but she knows how far she can step over the line and what is too far.
Your MIL will either a) be stubborn and shoot herself in the foot by missing the rest of her life with her family or b) come crawling back. Prepare yourself for your response. In that case, I would say to accept whatever sort of apology she offers and give it another go. But don't let her overstep and make sure your hubby is ready to do it again.
Well clearly it did not start on facebook. Lord have mercy. I havent spoken to this woman since she last visited, when she left in a puff of smoke for someone telling her she humiliated our daughter. It's the only interaction we have, and its not with eachother. She was awaiting the moment to start some shyt. I am only lucky enough to have pre-empted the issue to DH, which is why he didnt turn and tell me "its in my head" when she was telling me not to throw stones and what a terrible person I am.
ETA: And nothing has been on facebook since I deleted the post. And her. The rest of the conversations were via text message between MIL and DH. Why? I dont know. I would have picked up my phone and told my parents what upset me and gotten to a resolution before hanging up. They are not programmed that way. And I was far too proud of my husband for FINALLY sticking up for me to tell him anything about the way he did it!
I read the original post. While I understand sticking up for your child, there are ways to do that. You were looking for a 'fight" and so was she. You got it.
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