Paying for Parent's Funeral Services

[Mrs. Skeffington]

Originally Posted by reebo

My parents prepaid their funeral costs and selected their own caskets. When my dad died we went to the funeral home to finalize his arrangements. The funeral director insisted on showing us the casket he had chosen. My sibs and I were shocked to see my dad, who was notoriously tight with money, had chosen a top of the line mahogany casket with brass hardware. It was so out of character for him, we all burst into inappropriate laughter. My mother whispered in my ear, "when I go, downgrade the casket and share the difference with your brothers and sister."

At the other end of the spectrum, when my father in law died, he was cremated, and his ashes were buried after they were wrapped in retired altar linens. Cheap and cheerful.

My parents did the same - preplanned and prepaid everything, leaving minimal decision making for the family. My father even made a sketch of how he wanted the tombstone! When he passed away, all we had to do was meet with the funeral director to go over things. I don't like to think about it, but when my mother's time comes, it will be the same way. Her name and date of birth is already chiseled on the tombstone next to my father's (it makes me feel sick to see it). My dad bought several plots next to his for family members - DH and I will be buried there someday (although we opted to be cremated).

On the other hand...DH's father made no plans whatsoever, never discussed it with his wife, and left no life insurance or provisions to pay for anything. They were very stubborn about not having life insurance - they did not believe in it for religious reasons. I can't understand how you can be in your 80's and not discuss the inevitable (I think they were hoping the "second coming" would occur while they were still alive). My mother-in-law ended up being at a loss what to do because there was no money in the estate to pay for it. Cremation was a more affordable option, but the children had to front the cost.

[Escort Rider]

Yes, the more pre-planning and pre-payment is in place, the simpler the task is for whomever is arranging things. My mother had purchased her burial plot, but nothing else. Even having that one piece of the puzzle in place made things that much simpler in the decision-making and arrangement-making process for me and my sister.