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Old 02-01-2014, 05:40 PM
 
206 posts, read 247,086 times
Reputation: 131

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Some people i have came across have taken advantage of my kindness and i am tired of it! So was wondering if my opinion on a treacherous person is correct by the standard. So in the past i have seen that some people told me that "OH i am a good person and i am loyal" yada yada. I do understand that some people have been neglected and abused in some cases so that's why they are so on edge but here is my red flag question...

So is it a red flag when a person might be bad news if they say nice things out of their mouth but with their actions its like they don't like you or respect you, they do nothing for you act like they will, they say they have allot of respect for you but put you down. They simply wont tell you that they feel you are doing something wrong, instead they scream about it.

They Say they have your back but if your going through a hard time and you may need their help they basically just yap little advice to you but if the tables were turned they would not hesitate to ask you for something.. well... you all get it. So what do you think about my view ?
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Old 02-01-2014, 08:59 PM
 
12,540 posts, read 12,525,148 times
Reputation: 28901
Actions always speak louder than words.

Also, I've found that the more people talk about the wonderful traits they have, the less likely they are to actually have those traits.
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Old 02-01-2014, 09:13 PM
 
206 posts, read 247,086 times
Reputation: 131
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Actions always speak louder than words.

Also, I've found that the more people talk about the wonderful traits they have, the less likely they are to actually have those traits.
Its like they switch it up on ya?
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Old 02-01-2014, 09:52 PM
 
Location: PA
2,109 posts, read 1,849,009 times
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Yes, pay more attention to one's actions than what they say. People will blow smoke up your *ss because they know that it's what you want to hear.

And, I'm no expert on this, but how does the person ask you for something? Better yet, how do they react when you say "No"? Are they direct when they ask you for something? Do they appeal to your emotions (i.e. if you really cared, you would do xyz)? Do they play both ends against the middle? It takes time to really observe a person. Don't just take what one says at face value.
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Old 02-01-2014, 10:03 PM
 
47,573 posts, read 60,631,888 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Actions always speak louder than words.

Also, I've found that the more people talk about the wonderful traits they have, the less likely they are to actually have those traits.
Very true. It's like that "I'm not one to gossip, but did you hear about so-and-so......"

I think it's some kind of psychology that people will immediately tell you something about themselves that you will realize is not really true at all. It's what they want people to believe and maybe they want to believe it also.
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Old 02-01-2014, 10:16 PM
 
206 posts, read 247,086 times
Reputation: 131
Quote:
Originally Posted by swgirl926 View Post
Yes, pay more attention to one's actions than what they say. People will blow smoke up your *ss because they know that it's what you want to hear.

And, I'm no expert on this, but how does the person ask you for something? Better yet, how do they react when you say "No"? Are they direct when they ask you for something? Do they appeal to your emotions (i.e. if you really cared, you would do xyz)? Do they play both ends against the middle? It takes time to really observe a person. Don't just take what one says at face value.
So basically i am the type that likes to help people, so some people ask for my help when they see that. As a result some ended up trying to buy me food to get me to do a favor or some times i would just do it. Even when i was poor i asked basically for no money for favors But mostly respect and i Still did not get it!!

One of my friends acted like he wanted to take me out to dinner things like that but i didn't see he did such things because i was dealing with him. What i mean is he knew he was not that good of a person and he knew i did not see it like he knew himself so it was like he would in return try to feed me when i was emotional blind.
Another person i knew basically treated me like i was a no body yelling at me like he was mad instead of telling me what his deal was! He also knew he was Not such a nice person and he sat there and acted like he didn't do anything wrong. He also tried to bribe me with food when i was poor and pretended like he wanted to teach me something i did not know trying to so called help me out. But in the end in MY View (Just what i observed from their characters) I did not get along with them because they were simply Not good people Some people in the world feel like they don't have to live by any ones rules ect but get mad when you do the same!!

But that's my view, what do you say??

Last edited by peter921; 02-01-2014 at 10:27 PM..
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Old 02-01-2014, 10:59 PM
 
Location: PA
2,109 posts, read 1,849,009 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by peter921 View Post
So basically i am the type that likes to help people, so some people ask for my help when they see that. As a result some ended up trying to buy me food to get me to do a favor or some times i would just do it. Even when i was poor i asked basically for no money for favors But mostly respect and i Still did not get it!!

One of my friends acted like he wanted to take me out to dinner things like that but i didn't see he did such things because i was dealing with him. What i mean is he knew he was not that good of a person and he knew i did not see it like he knew himself so it was like he would in return try to feed me when i was emotional blind.
Another person i knew basically treated me like i was a no body yelling at me like he was mad instead of telling me what his deal was! He also knew he was Not such a nice person and he sat there and acted like he didn't do anything wrong. He also tried to bribe me with food when i was poor and pretended like he wanted to teach me something i did not know trying to so called help me out. But in the end in MY View (Just what i observed from their characters) I did not get along with them because they were simply Not good people Some people in the world feel like they don't have to live by any ones rules ect but get mad when you do the same!!

But that's my view, what do you say??
So you sensed that these people did things for you to try to get you to do something in return? Did I get that right? If someone wants to do something out of the goodness of their heart, they don't throw it in your face. And you don't have to put up with someone yelling at you and treating you like you are a nobody.

If your gut tells you something's wrong with these people, give it some attention.
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Old 02-01-2014, 11:31 PM
 
206 posts, read 247,086 times
Reputation: 131
Quote:
Originally Posted by swgirl926 View Post
So you sensed that these people did things for you to try to get you to do something in return? Did I get that right? If someone wants to do something out of the goodness of their heart, they don't throw it in your face. And you don't have to put up with someone yelling at you and treating you like you are a nobody.

If your gut tells you something's wrong with these people, give it some attention.
They only did things to get what they wanted they know that people are nice and would deal with them.
I was the person that went back to disrespect only for it to happen again thinking that they still care about me even if they yell. Sometimes even your own siblings are like this and it put me in the state of shock to believe that the people you knew for years only have their worth in their mind. I could not believe it, like it was not true so i kept waiting for them to change!
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:04 AM
 
Location: The Greater Houston Metro Area
8,988 posts, read 14,671,846 times
Reputation: 14876
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
Actions always speak louder than words.

Also, I've found that the more people talk about the wonderful traits they have, the less likely they are to actually have those traits.
It's like those people that make such a point telling what a Christian they are. When I hear that, I watch my wallet, etc. If they are really upright and moral, they don't feel the need to bleat about it. They are just setting you up.
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Old 02-02-2014, 12:07 AM
 
Location: southern california
55,665 posts, read 74,612,986 times
Reputation: 48173
they yell at service people and little kids and animals but are very nice with you.
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