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One example was a guy who said he'd been waiting in line at the post office at Christmas time, and a woman was in line in front of him holding a big stack of cards to mail. They made small talk, since the line was so long. Later the guy decided he was extremely attracted to the woman and wanted to ask her out, and he talked about it in session. He had "noticed" her return address on her envelopes, memorized it, and thought he might show up at her home with flowers. He actually envisioned that she might think this was incredibly romantic--that he'd noticed and memorized her name and address, and went out of his way to seek her out. I had to really keep my own personal feelings in check--that I thought this would be perceived a really creepy by this poor woman, to have a total stranger with whom she'd had a few minutes of small talk at the post office show up at her home making overtures toward her. This guy had a history of being obsessive with women in the past, but not strangers, just former dating partners. But even if he hadn't had that history, I'd have considered that behavior "creepy." I did walk him through all the possibilities of how she'd react, and together we even rated how probable each possible response would be. He did seem to listen to and acknowledge the possibility that she'd see him as creepy, and I thought by the end of the session that he'd given up on the idea of going to her home. The next week he cam in and raved about the stuck-up F-ing b*tch and how he ultimately decided to go to her house and she seemed very uncomfortable and asked him to leave. She firmly said I'm not interested, and if you don't leave, Ill call the police. Now he was angry about how she'd rejected him. This guy was not schizophrenic, nor did he have any other serious mental illness. He just demonstrated poor social judgment, doing things he convinced himself were okay and even desirable. If you lived next to, worked next to, or stood next to this guy in a line somewhere, you'd never think he was problematic in any way. An ordinary guy. But if "ordinary" guys think this way, they are wrong, and need to learn that. And women need to listen to their gut when a guy seems "creepy." After that incident, which didn't go any further, but could have, I decided to be more direct with clients who planned to do something I thought was really poor judgment.
I would have called the police if I were her as well! And yes that is beyond creepy!
The thing is this woman doesn't know he's harmless. He could also be harmless one day and snap the next. Next thing you know, she's the story on an episode of Law & Order SVU.
But he was just one guy. In the time I provided therapy, I heard this kind of stuff over and over. Guys with these weird plans to woo a woman that any woman would see as creepy. Guys who would get a woman's number off a contact list at some place they worked, or off a sign-up sheet to support a walkathon, or off a girl scout cookie form! None of the "creative" ways of getting a woman's number or address would ever be considered adorable or romantic by the woman.
But he was just one guy. In the time I provided therapy, I heard this kind of stuff over and over. Guys with these weird plans to woo a woman that any woman would see as creepy. Guys who would get a woman's number off a contact list at some place they worked, or off a sign-up sheet to support a walkathon, or off a girl scout cookie form! None of the "creative" ways of getting a woman's number or address would ever be considered adorable or romantic by the woman.
You can say that again.
If I want someone to have my number, I will give it to them. Period. I may not even wait for them to ask if I am really interested.
Straightforward is the best possible way to deal with this. I don't think its cute when someone tries to trick me. I am not sure why anyone would. There are tons of opportunities for romantic surprises once you actually get to know someone.
These are 2 of the most obnoxious posts I've read in this thread.
Thank you very much! Glad you liked them
I guess it's not obnoxious to think everyone finds you just soooooo hot and sooooo irresistible that they can't control themselves and just have to honk at you, etc.
As for my other post? Here is a Google AND a Bing image search for FedEx trucks. Funny, but the photo she posted is nowhere in the bunch and, if you look at the properties of the photo she posted, it comes from a Flickr account (she claims she did a google search to find the photo).
Neither of my posts were obnoxious. There are people on this thread who would love to see this guy lose his job, they're calling him a stalker, they're telling her to file police reports, etc...... and over what? Because she gave him her number and he texted her? And then stopped after she asked him to stop (except for a text saying he thought they were friends? (remember, they were in the same HS). Oh, and let's not forget he's been driving around in her neighborhood..... on his WORK ROUTE.
You know, I've been the victim of a REAL stalker and it's not fun. It's a very serious and scary thing. What the OP posted is NOT stalking and it is NOT something she should be running and trying to make this guy lose his job over. I can see if the guy was continually honking at her and stopping his truck to try and talk to her or stop in front of her house or whatever but that's not what's happening. He texted her.
But he was just one guy. In the time I provided therapy, I heard this kind of stuff over and over. Guys with these weird plans to woo a woman that any woman would see as creepy. Guys who would get a woman's number off a contact list at some place they worked, or off a sign-up sheet to support a walkathon, or off a girl scout cookie form! None of the "creative" ways of getting a woman's number or address would ever be considered adorable or romantic by the woman.
Oh my word! No way!!! That is just CREEPY! No way around that. I think I'd need therapy after listening to all of that over and over. Would spook me.
I guess it's not obnoxious to think everyone finds you just soooooo hot and sooooo irresistible that they can't control themselves and just have to honk at you, etc.
As for my other post? Here is a Google AND a Bing image search for FedEx trucks. Funny, but the photo she posted is nowhere in the bunch and, if you look at the properties of the photo she posted, it comes from a Flickr account (she claims she did a google search to find the photo).
Neither of my posts were obnoxious. There are people on this thread who would love to see this guy lose his job, they're calling him a stalker, they're telling her to file police reports, etc...... and over what? Because she gave him her number and he texted her? And then stopped after she asked him to stop (except for a text saying he thought they were friends? (remember, they were in the same HS). Oh, and let's not forget he's been driving around in her neighborhood..... on his WORK ROUTE.
You know, I've been the victim of a REAL stalker and it's not fun. It's a very serious and scary thing. What the OP posted is NOT stalking and it is NOT something she should be running and trying to make this guy lose his job over. I can see if the guy was continually honking at her and stopping his truck to try and talk to her or stop in front of her house or whatever but that's not what's happening. He texted her.
Are you joking me? You are absolutely ridiculous. I said I searched "FedEx Home Delivery truck", not just "FedEx Delivery truck". If you search what I said to search, the image is in the 9th row down. Give me a break!!!
Also, maybe it's very uncommon for people to honk at women where you live, but it's very common here. I'm not in the minority.
I am pretty sure you are just the type of person who likes to create drama... Am I right?
I've read this entire thread and I cannot believe the replies!!
The drivers actions may or may not fit your personal definition of a "Stalker" but the bottom line is the the OP feels threatened and is uncomfortable. That is not up for debate and no one has the right to tell someone else how to react when they feel their safety is at risk.
I've read this entire thread and I cannot believe the replies!!
The drivers actions may or may not fit your personal definition of a "Stalker" but the bottom line is the the OP feels threatened and is uncomfortable. That is not up for debate and no one has the right to tell someone else how to react when they feel their safety is at risk.
Exactly!
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Glad it's not just me...
