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Old 02-08-2014, 02:46 PM
 
160 posts, read 318,416 times
Reputation: 236

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I have been a recluse most of my life. I am finally trying to change my life around for the better, finally cut tv out of my life and start reading books. I went on meetup.com found a group I might like. I use to love playing board games with my family. Well I went there and the people were nice but I just didn't click. They appear very intelligent to me. I sucked at all the board games. I only stayed for one hour and now I am at home enjoying my book and it feels like heaven to me...... what I really want is my confidence I use to have. I am in the process of losing weight and I really want to date and spend time with a boyfriend and go to movies and trips together...I have about 100lbs to lose....ahhh I dunno hopefully a book club may turn out better
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Old 02-08-2014, 02:51 PM
 
97 posts, read 303,721 times
Reputation: 30
At the end of the day, self-confidence comes from within. A lack of self-confidence comes from insecurity.

If the people on the website were arrogant about their intelligence, maybe they're not worth your time.
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Old 02-08-2014, 02:55 PM
 
160 posts, read 318,416 times
Reputation: 236
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darling3 View Post
At the end of the day, self-confidence comes from within. A lack of self-confidence comes from insecurity.

If the people on the website were arrogant about their intelligence, maybe they're not worth your time.
no no their were nice it's just that I felt like a complete dumbass
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Old 02-08-2014, 02:58 PM
 
97 posts, read 303,721 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hourglass45 View Post
no no their were nice it's just that I felt like a complete dumbass
If you were having fun, that should be all that matters. That said, I do understand the desire to be good at something. You could try finding something that you are good at. As for the boyfriend thing, as long as you have a good personality, a good boyfriend may find you. If someone rejects you because you're "fat" they only care about your appearance and not your personality.
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Old 02-08-2014, 04:31 PM
 
365 posts, read 553,717 times
Reputation: 353
You won't find a man sitting at home. You have to put yourself out there. Love comes in all shapes and sizes. There is someone out there for everyone. Try some of the dating sites for bigger people. Good luck on your search.
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Old 02-08-2014, 04:41 PM
 
1,531 posts, read 1,438,232 times
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You don't become proficient at anything, even board games, the first time you try it. Turn your new acquaintances into allies and then friends by asking their advice about becoming better at the games, and then put their advice to work by continuing to participate in the group and play the games. You'll get better at it, and you'll get to know the other people better and may even make a real friend or two. Be positive, demonstrate enthusiasm, work at getting better. If you give up every attempt because you're not making instant friends, you will continue to be disappointed and alone.

Last edited by Chaofan; 02-08-2014 at 04:54 PM..
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Old 02-08-2014, 04:42 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
43,215 posts, read 41,812,025 times
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You went to one meetup.

Keep trying.
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Old 02-08-2014, 04:51 PM
 
10,813 posts, read 8,059,843 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hourglass45 View Post
hopefully a book club may turn out better
A book club sounds like an excellent start! Check at your local library as well as on Meetup, and join both!

Also long-time book club veterans will tell you that you *don't* have to like the current book, and you don't have to finish it if it just doesn't ring your bell. The best discussions are when members disagree.
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Old 02-08-2014, 05:10 PM
 
Location: northwest Illinois
2,331 posts, read 2,638,701 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hourglass45 View Post
I have been a recluse most of my life. I am finally trying to change my life around for the better, finally cut tv out of my life and start reading books. I went on meetup.com found a group I might like. I use to love playing board games with my family. Well I went there and the people were nice but I just didn't click. They appear very intelligent to me. I sucked at all the board games. I only stayed for one hour and now I am at home enjoying my book and it feels like heaven to me...... what I really want is my confidence I use to have. I am in the process of losing weight and I really want to date and spend time with a boyfriend and go to movies and trips together...I have about 100lbs to lose....ahhh I dunno hopefully a book club may turn out better
I'm a recluse too. I hate going anywhere there's people, but tell ya what. How bout if I bring a bottle of wine, come over and make you dinner and we can be dumpy little recluses together? ...Now that's what you need.
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Old 02-08-2014, 05:20 PM
 
11,126 posts, read 8,534,553 times
Reputation: 28094
Personally, I think you did good. You challenged yourself to break your routine and you did it. The cool thing about meet up groups is that they are no commitment. You go to one. You don't have to go back. Try a different group.

When you go to your next group, have a plan in mind. Say, challenge yourself to talk to xx number of people or get the phone number/email from 1 or 2 people. Better yet, before you go, scout out a museum, movie, play or flower show or something. Then when you are at the meet up, ask someone if they like xx activity and casually mention that you are thinking about going. If you put it out there, you might get a nibble and make a new friend.
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