How to write a persuasive, diplomatic letter to my aunt asking for money to help pay off debt? (female, male)
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You've got to be kidding me. The so called "advice" that has been given by some here, only resembles toxic emotional abuse. People such as that, only know how to spew venom. Like I said, push this girl down and make her feel bad, just to boost whatever high horse image you have of yourselves. Its really sick and twisted and people like that shouldn't be allowed to post on here.
Wrong. The OP stated that she made some wrong decisions in trusting certain people. So a parallel could be drawn. . . If I was playing the devils advocate: She(my mother) is old enough to not make that mistake, such as getting involved with the type of person that she did.
Granted, my mothers situation is more desperate than the OP's.
I could just be like the majority of the people in this thread and say: Too bad mom, if you haven't learned by now, then forget you and how dare you ask your family to give you money. Its my money!
We are human and humans make mistakes all throughout their lives, and family should be the first and foremost group we should be able to go to in a time of need.
I think that you're understandably emotional about your mother's situation and are looking at the OP's situation through your own experience. You state that your mother worked all her life, trusted a bad boyfriend and is now in financial difficulities. That is not the same situation at all as the OP.
The OP is 22, has a college degree and according to a post on another thread, has gone back to college to study nursing. She is not at the end of her rope here. She just doesn't want to do what she is capable of doing to fix her own situation.
I don't think a single person who has posted on here would begrudge helping a hard-working relative they know and love out of a financial predicament brought on by being too trusting. Especially if that relative had few or no options.
Also, if the OP came back and said her credit card debt was because she was in an car accident and couldn't work for a while, or because of medical bills, or something else beyond her control, she would be getting different responses. But it sounds like she was careless and made poor decisions and now wants a handout. Life doesn't work that way and the sooner she learns that, the better.
I think that you're understandably emotional about your mother's situation and are looking at the OP's situation through your own experience. You state that your mother worked all her life, trusted a bad boyfriend and is now in financial difficulities. That is not the same situation at all as the OP.
The OP is 22, has a college degree and according to a post on another thread, has gone back to college to study nursing. She is not at the end of her rope here. She just doesn't want to do what she is capable of doing to fix her own situation.
I don't think a single person who has posted on here would begrudge helping a hard-working relative they know and love out of a financial predicament brought on by being too trusting. Especially if that relative had few or no options.
Also, if the OP came back and said her credit card debt was because she was in an car accident and couldn't work for a while, or because of medical bills, or something else beyond her control, she would be getting different responses. But it sounds like she was careless and made poor decisions and now wants a handout. Life doesn't work that way and the sooner she learns that, the better.
If she was asking her aunt to borrow in order to avoid the extraordinary credit card fees, that would be one thing. But she isn't. She made the hint in her OP - she has no intention of paying back any of this money, she simply wants her aunt to foot the bill.
OP, I would ask your dad before asking the aunt. Also, you say you wouldn't be able to repay it. Why not? Surely even years down the road you could pay back a $5,000 loan with a little interest? I don't see why this amount should be a "gift." But I agree with the others, just because your aunt and her husband live comfortably (and god knows what they've had to do in their lives to get to this point), doesn't mean that they should help you get out of your bind.
I think people are being too harsh, but I agree she shouldn't write the letter and needs to pay her own debt. It's only $5000. For debt that's nothing.
I'm confused. Does she already have a college degree or not? If she does, is she getting another Bachelors or a graduate degree? If she doesn't yet have a degree and is in school full time and taking it seriously, I certainly would not be kicking her out on the streets if I were her father. But I still wouldn't pay the debt. Also - where is mom?
I have been and am an aunt several times over. It was fun when the kids were little but when they grew up - not so much. I have a nephew who you remind me of - and I'd tell you what I told him - to his face. I'm sorry you're going through this - but sometimes you only learn from your own mistakes. You assume that because your aunt is "blood" she is responsible to help you out - but you need to seek out your "friends" who helped you dig yourself into this hole. She owes you nothing. If I were to receive a letter OR a phone call from a relative asking me to give them money I would not say, "aww, you poor darling, how much do you need? Would you prefer a check or cash?" After the azz reaming I think you deserve, I would hang up the phone and probably call your dad (where's your mother btw?) and ask him if he brought you up this way. People work for the things they get in the world - that's why they are working. I suggest you do the same. You are 22 - not a baby. You want people here to boost you up and feel bad for you - not tell you like it is. Sure - we've all been young and stupid, but I can tell you truthfully - the mistakes I made and cleaned up myself (all of them because I would have been too ashamed to admit to them and ask for help) are the ones that taught me the most about what I'm made of, and really give you the sense of maturity that you need to survive in the world today. Figure it out - apparently it wasn't too hard to figure out how to get yourself into the mess you're in. I guess you could always file for bankruptcy.
Wow these opinions are harsh. My adopted mom died about 5 years ago due to a gastric bypass surgery gone wrong-and its my adopted dad.
Also, my BIRTH mom is local-and SHE IS ONE OF THE PEOPLE I LENT THE MONEY TO WITH THE AGREEMENT SHE'D PAY ME BACK WITH INTEREST(HER WORDS). She hasnt made good on her promise-instead she lives off the government and spends her money on booze and cigarettes.
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