Parents and their unrealistic views of the modern world (spouse, feel, girlfriend)
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OP says he doesn't want to get a 2nd job, even if part-time, because he doesn't want to be "one of those dads" who isn't in his child's life much. It sounds like he wants a good-parenting sticker from the forum. But if he had a part-time job evenings, he'd still be able to be with his son all weekend. If he worked weekends, he'd be able to be with his son every evening. There's really not a problem in that regard. Better he should work to support the family and be a good role model to his son, no?
And fyi, OP, there are ALWAYS jobs out there. The turnover in cashiers at grocery stores is unbelievable. I constantly see people picking up cashier jobs. Whole Foods has a long list of job openings on a monthly basis, for cashiers, stock boys, deli staff, janitors, etc. (Check online if you don't believe me.) Department stores (and there are many of them in your area) have openings regularly, part-time and full-time, on a number of levels, from cashier to department/floor manager to human resources manager and up. And they do hire from outside if someone's qualified; I've known people who got these jobs. In fact, for store manager most of them ONLY hire from outside, but you have to apply through the national or regional office, not locally. Wal-Mart always needs cashiers due to high turnover. Part-time waitressing is available, your gf would have to devote some time to inquiring at the hundreds of restaurants in your area. Energy has to be expended to find a job, they don't just fall in your lap.
Alternatively, if people are too lazy to beat the pavement and make the rounds to put in a couple dozen job applications for that type of work, there's always work that can be done at home. Someone in the household could do phone soliciting or customer service by phone. If all else fails, you can sign up to stuff envelopes with the companies that routinely advertise for that type of help.
The problem here isn't that the OP and/or his gf can't find a job. It's that they haven't even tried. Finding a job can be a part-time job in itself, but there doesn't seem to be any will on the part of the adults in this picture. Finding work takes work.
I don't understand why the GF felt entitled to "take the winter off" from job-hunting. How does that work?
Now let's not judge the hardship of getting the Snowcat through the bitter frozen southern California tundra in mid winter just for some job. It's a lot to ask.
I don't understand why the GF felt entitled to "take the winter off" from job-hunting. How does that work?
This is a very good question considering winter in so cal is the same as any other time of the year, and retail tends to hire a lot of Christmas help in November.
I was feeling sympathy for the OP until I read about the girlfriend.
My dad (who was the best dad in the whole world) worked 4 jobs when I was growing up. He worked those four so our mother (also the best in the whole world) could stay home and raise four children. He also did it to provide Sunday meals to the hobos, and visiting family members, down on their luck.
BTW, my mother worked her backside off for us all, and even ironed all of our clothing! She was not sitting around eating bon-bons. She was one of the hardest working homemakers I have ever known!! So please don't dare say anything unkind about her staying at home. We were all better for it!
Did the four jobs come between father and kids? It certainly did not. We were proud of him. We felt super loved because of his dedication, sacrifice, and actions. He was our quiet and kind hero. And the time he was able to spend with us was quality and precious.
Our dad died back in 2001. Had he lived, he would be 94 today. I miss you Daddy!
This is a very good question considering winter in so cal is the same as any other time of the year, and retail tends to hire a lot of Christmas help in November.
Retail hires a lot of help for the holidays and those post-holiday sales, and so does the Post Office hire temp help for December.
What are you actively doing to advance yourselves?
I understand that working more than one job is not your preference. I doubt it is anyone's preference but sometimes you need to pull up your big boy pants and do it. Same with your fiance. Working customer service or waitressing at night is a "step down" professionally but you do what you need to sometimes.
I'll agree with the others about cutting out your "addiction" to waxing and expensive entertainment. Including those trips to Vegas and staying at pricey hotels. Really? You were able to do this while accepting foodstamps? And complaining about not having enough to "put food on the table"? SMH. Unfortunately, it's people like you who make others wary of programs meant for the truly needy. I'd be ashamed if you were my son.
Just lots of bad choices... and now OP's dealing with the consequences. We can blame the gov't, talk about how change for social policy is needed, how our parents had it "easier" (one of my generation's complaints that make me go ) blah blah... it does nothing but feed into the OP's pity train. No point at this moment to even worry about such thing if it's really that bad. The GF needs to get off her butt and find a job... any job. The job search for managerial positions has been fruitless and her change of tactic is to give up for the winter? OP is just boosting and proving his parents's case.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
He's not working 40 PLUS hours a week - he's working 40 hours a week MAX. And he qualifies for food stamps because FOUR PEOPLE live in the household and his is the only income.
Bless their hearts.
I'm not so sure if it worked out that way. He originally said the food stamps were for him and his son. I've gotten food stamps before, and they had me signed a paper stating that and agreeing to the food purchased by the food stamps were only to be eaten by me and my dependents, and that the "other people in the household" are not to be supported by my food stamps.
Given to recent post by the OP who stated that her unemployment $$ (which would be counted as income by the gov't) was more than what he was earning at the time, they would not count her in because she's not technically being supported by him. In the gov't eyes, OP would be misusing the food stamps by supporting her and her son. The ONE thing I do not understand is, when the unemployment benefits ran out, why didn't SHE go and apply for food stamps? This would've actually resolved most of the food stamp issue, even with the 50% cut.
I'll agree with the others about cutting out your "addiction" to waxing and expensive entertainment. Including those trips to Vegas and staying at pricey hotels. Really? You were able to do this while accepting foodstamps? And complaining about not having enough to "put food on the table"? SMH. Unfortunately, it's people like you who make others wary of programs meant for the truly needy. I'd be ashamed if you were my son.
Oh good grief, really?
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) blah blah... it does nothing but feed into the OP's pity train. No point at this moment to even worry about such thing if it's really that bad. The GF needs to get off her butt and find a job... any job. The job search for managerial positions has been fruitless and her change of tactic is to give up for the winter? OP is just boosting and proving his parents's case.
