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I've spent about a third of my professional life working with rock bands who play music in clubs for a living, so I see a lot of "clubbing" up close and personal. Plenty of the people there have children. In fact, most of the entertainers have children, as well as the people who work in the bars. If they get appropriate child care and spend quality time with their children when they aren't in clubs, it's just a different lifestyle, it's not a dangerous lifestyle. My dad worked in a steel mill and was just as likely to work the 11 pm to 7 am shift as the other two. It doesn't mean I was neglected.
I know some pretty hard rockers who are damned good parents who have raised polite, well-educated children. I also know some who raised brats. Just as I know accountants who raised exemplary children and some who raised feral maniacs. I try not to make value judgments about how people spend their free time. If they are using non-working hours to drink to excess or use drugs and ignore there parental duties, that's certainly an issue and I would judge that. But I know police officers, college professors, and doctors who don't go to clubs and are still terrible, neglectful parents, so I don't think "clubbing" is the problem.
I know some people (mostly women) who have young children. Some have a significant other while some are completely unattached. These people go out clubbing or partying 1-3 times a week. I see their FB newsfeed with pictures of them drinking and dirty dancing w/ their gf's. Their kids are at home, presumably w/ a babysitter.
Do you feel as I do that this is irresponsible behavior? Or do parents, especially single ones, have a right to go clubbing/partying on a regular basis?
Their "right" to do somewhere or not has nothing to do with you or what you think about it.
It is generally best to tend to one's own life before deciding what "rights" others have when it comes to their lives.
I'm 31 and love to go clubbing. Not sure if I've missed a Saturday night of partying until 4/5 am in almost ten years. I'll travel around the world just to party. Some Saturdays I go to brunch parties and party from 4pm - 4am. Been on 5day 'benders' in ibiza and vegas. So I don't really see what the big problem is?
Oh that's right....I knew this is what I like doing, so I didn't bring a kid(s) into this world at 20 yrs old when I had other priorities.
OP: You confused the issue when you asked if the parents have "the right" to go clubbing? Of course, they have the legal right to go if their children are being adequately attended by others.
The question should be a moral question - it should be about modeling sobriety around one's children when coming home, or spending time with one's children as opposed to clubbing, or about "family values," versus "clubbing values."
More people are heavy boozers today than ever before, and I can tell you, these kids are going to have problems . . .the parents won't be able to fathom that at this point, but they will have to "pay the piper" for choosing booze and late nights over a more wholesome lifestyle with their children.
There are many kinds of clubs, with all kinds of music from hip-hop to salsa to country, with live bands and DJs. I go to a local gay dance club 2-3 times a month with a changing group of gay and straight friends (men and women) all in our 50s, and the age range of the clientele is always huge there. The OP seems to have a very limited view of what kinds of people enjoy "clubbing."
I know some people (mostly women) who have young children. Some have a significant other while some are completely unattached. These people go out clubbing or partying 1-3 times a week. I see their FB newsfeed with pictures of them drinking and dirty dancing w/ their gf's. Their kids are at home, presumably w/ a babysitter.
Do you feel as I do that this is irresponsible behavior? Or do parents, especially single ones, have a right to go clubbing/partying on a regular basis?
If they're single parents, then how can they work all day and then leave their kids to babysitters for even more time to go partying? They should be home with their children.
Going out clubbing is a little different than attending a meeting or learning ballroom dancing - clubbing almost always involves drinking and flirting with men - at least that's the way it was when I did it.
Once you have a child priorities should change - you need to spend your non-working hours with your child and maybe a night of clubbing on the weekend every couple of weeks. Come on - we all know this is wrong. You are not the important one anymore - your child is - grow up.
Exactly. 1 or 2 times a month might be okay - 2 or 3 times a week? Why have children if you won't spend time with them.
It's been a long time since I went clubbing, but I don't even recall going until 11pm and stayed until about 2am - so, while I don't club, many children wouldn't even know you were gone.
I used to work 7pm-4am, one of my kids didn't even know I left the house 3-4x a week
If they're single parents, then how can they work all day and then leave their kids to babysitters for even more time to go partying? They should be home with their children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by malamute
Exactly. 1 or 2 times a month might be okay - 2 or 3 times a week? Why have children if you won't spend time with them.
Clubs don't open until long after children's bedtimes.
What about older parents that go clubbing every weekend leaving their pre-teen at home?
I know a case like this. These people are in their 50's and had 4 children with the last one sort of a late surprise which explains the huge age gap between parents-child and brothers-child.
They often comment that they like to be in lively places full of young people. I personally think they fear old age and the fact that they are getting old, but who knows!
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