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In addition to the other possible diagnoses various posters have suggested, it sounds to me as if this woman has Asperger's Syndrome. The social cluelessness, obliviousness to obvious hints to back off and leave you alone to get back to business, and efforts to "copy" you all point in this direction, though it appears something additional is going on as well.
I once worked with a woman I belatedly realized was on the Asperger's spectrum. She was bright, articulate (to a fault), personally clean but badly groomed, stood WAY to close to whoever she was attempting to engage in conversation, inevitably turned conversation to herself, put off customers...yet was conscientious about showing up on time, meeting deadlines, etc.
She drove me slightly nuts. So - I did what I could to avoid her, or at least keep interactions minimal. I was polite but cool - she felt it, and turned up her efforts for a while, becoming even more irritating. I held fast - and complained to our supervisor - who counseled the offender, with the result that this woman approached everyone who'd complained (I was not alone) and demanded to be told what she'd done to offend us, said she was oh, so sorry, but hadn't really done anything wrong, etc. All this with customers present. Not fun.
Eventually, she found another job, and a great sigh of relief rose up from her former co-workers.
So - since you know your time with this person is limited and the end is in sight, keep things courteous but on the distant side. When you first encounter her in the morning, say something like "Good morning - I really have a lot of things I absolutely HAVE to get done today, so I'll be holed up all day so I can focus". If she interrupts anyway, remind her that you have a lot to do and you just can't talk to anyone. Make sure you have a big stack of papers on your desk, keep your office door closed (if you have an office door), make sure other coworkers are in on your "urgent project", etc. Keep your head down, and keep your boundaries and avoid being drawn into pointless and irritating interactions.
I agree with all those advising that you trust your instincts. Many people don't. Your gut reaction is always right on
So...What is a day like with her in the same office in such close proximity? What things can you do to avoid her entirely?? If there is really no way to avoid being in your shared office alone with her....perhaps you can devise some other short term solutions....can you possibly have other work peers check in on you...Not saying that she is aggressive...but, since she is less apt to interact socially with multiple people present...it might work.
At the extreme I'd go to HR..and share if she talks about suicide again...first to get her the professional help she obviously needs and second you are not obliged to work in an environment that puts you in harms way, mentally or physically....and seriously...We unfortunately hear everyday about ppl who behave this way and are ignored, or thought to be harmless until after they do something awful.
Priority one...give her no reason to think she should keep confiding in you...do not let her follow you home...or get personal info from off your desk..Distance is your friend, as much as possible....Keep a log, write down the wierd stuff she says....Because Co. admins are prone to blame both ppl if push comes to shove.....I have lived it...Quit a job over it....and couldn't get any work related support at all. Good luck
PS...Sometimes when folks are this out of bounds socially....just mentioning that thy seek professional help will shut them up...Thy already usually know they need professional help....they'v often already been seeing someone...But, it puts them into a defense mode...so they do not want to give you ammunition to make them seek professional help...That may be enough, long term....She is a serious threat to your work place...get some witnesses.
I agree with just trying to engage her as little as possible and not offering her up any information about yourself or even hinting at anything outside the context of work. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. If this starts to irritate her and her behavior escalates, though, you may want to bring it up to upper folk. Never know just how nutty someone can be until you draw the wrong line with them.
If the sensible route fails, go the Hollywood rarely works in real life route and be even weirder than she is. Nothing more satisfying than creeping out a creeper.
We have a nutjob at my office and my co-worker googled her and found she had been involved in a violent incident in the past. Of course, he googled her at home, not on the office computer!
When I read many of the threads on here, I am astounded by the amount of people who seem needy and clingy. It is sad, and makes me wonder why so many people feel isolated and alone. Maybe this lady is one of those people, and she feels that she needs a connection at work. I would just be kind, but keep the relationship work related as much as possible.
Engage as little as possible. Answer in one or two-word replies. Do no ask her personal questions, and do not take the bait if she talks about personal stuff.
Also, could you get away with wearing earbuds in the office?
Exactly..Don't answer personal questions and keep your distance..Don't be sucked in. Also, keep your purse, keys and phone either on you or locked away. ) Never walk away from your computer without locking it and lock your vehicle. I hate to sound extremist but with the situation you described, it's simply best to protect yourself at all means.
Are other employees and management aware? If so, let someone know you can trust discreetly for now.
Exactly..Don't answer personal questions and keep your distance..Don't be sucked in. Also, keep your purse, keys and phone either on you or locked away. ) Never walk away from your computer without locking it and lock your vehicle. I hate to sound extremist but with the situation you described, it's simply best to protect yourself at all means.
Are other employees and management aware? If so, let someone know you can trust discreetly for now.
Yes, this is good advice. I will definitely do this.
Two of my close co-workers know exactly what is going on. I didn't tell my boss all of the details but he knows that my officemate interrupts me while on the phone with clients and that was enough of a disturbance for him to ok the move to another office.
Not a good idea to tell her this ^^ because then she will try to help you solve your problem and it'll end up worse than it is now.
I agree with those who say to be firm and stand your ground.
Exactly. Do not engage, and do not give her any information that she could latch onto.
OP is there to work, not provide therapy for someone who is "lonely and socially challenged" for sure and possibly dangerous or at the least annoying as hell.
OP is in the situation: we are not. I trust her to trust her instincts.
Things died down a bit about a week ago or so I thought. Last week she made it a point to stand by my desk to "wait for me" when I was leaving for the day. I was caught off guard because she hadn't done that before. So I pretended that I had forgotten to do some task, turned my computer back on and started pretending to work again. And I told her to go ahead.
The next day, she does it again. She makes certain to leave when I leave and when we get to the elevator I turn and head for the stairs after she gets on the elevator.
The day after that...she leaves before me. Whew, I'm safe. But not really. When I get down into the parking garage I notice that she is standing a row over from the aisle in which my car is parked in the middle of the driveway area as if she was waiting for someone to pick her up but it didn't make sense to be standing in the middle of the aisle where cars drive. I hopped in my car really fast without making eye contact and drove away in the opposite direction.
On Friday, I was sitting and talking to a coworker who is in a cubie that is outside of my office but about a row over. It had to take some effort on her part to eavesdrop on that conversation but later in the day she regurgitates a part of the conversation that I had with that individual.
Yes, it sounds like it. When will your new office be ready?
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