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Hi, I have an ettiquette question and hope this is the right section to post in. What do you do when you have to interact with hostile ex-coworkers at social events?
I often attend networking events as part of my job and social life. A few years ago I resigned from a job because my then supervisor tried get me fired. She was full of snide remarks and screaming tantrums. Recently she's been turning up at the same events that I attend, and it's just a matter of time before someone introduces us.
What should I do if this happens? Social events aren't the place for airing grievances, but I don't even want to talk to her and I'm sure she'll find something nasty to say that sounds harmless to people who don't know her. I'm also worried that she'll try to undermine my reputation at these events, like how she tried to do at work. People who don't know her think she's great because she raises money for charities and gives public talks on community values. Only a handful of people know her true personality is the opposite of her public image.
Appreciate any advice people might have for handling this appropriately. Thanks
Hi, I have an ettiquette question and hope this is the right section to post in. What do you do when you have to interact with hostile ex-coworkers at social events?
I often attend networking events as part of my job and social life. A few years ago I resigned from a job because my then supervisor tried get me fired. She was full of snide remarks and screaming tantrums. Recently she's been turning up at the same events that I attend, and it's just a matter of time before someone introduces us.
What should I do if this happens? Social events aren't the place for airing grievances, but I don't even want to talk to her and I'm sure she'll find something nasty to say that sounds harmless to people who don't know her. I'm also worried that she'll try to undermine my reputation at these events, like how she tried to do at work. People who don't know her think she's great because she raises money for charities and gives public talks on community values. Only a handful of people know her true personality is the opposite of her public image.
Appreciate any advice people might have for handling this appropriately. Thanks
Just smile and be who you are, don't anticipate anything she might do, I'm certain, by now, most people at these events have her number, she doesn't sound like the type of person one wants to be around, unless of course, your into gossip. Anyway, don't sweat it, just continue to be yourself, and if anyone asks you about something she has said, or tells you something she has said, then be the better person for it and smile and then change the subject....
The only power she has over you now is what you give her. Even worrying about it lets her influence you. Okay, you know it'll happen. You will also go to the dentist, file taxes, and mop your kitchen floor.
Of course, if you accidentally spill wine on her....(j/k)
the only power she has over you now is what you give her. Even worrying about it lets her influence you. Okay, you know it'll happen. You will also go to the dentist, file taxes, and mop your kitchen floor.
Of course, if you accidentally spill wine on her....(j/k)
Try to behave with dignity. I completely get the temptation to snub her or "accidentally" throw your drink over her, but I'm guessing the best revenge might be to show her that her childish and unprofessional behaviour has had no effect on you. Hopefully the other people there will know you well enough by now to ignore anything she might say.
I haven't had this exact experience, but I once had a boss (at a very small company) who was a nightmare. Basically every stereotype about an arrogant bad boss you can imagine, up to and including accusing me of lying about spilling the coffee all around the coffeemaker when I don't even drink coffee.
Anyway, my experience there ended on less than positive terms. Months later, we happened upon each other in a social setting and I was nothing but kind and smiley, though nothing beyond polite small talk. I was still mad on the inside, but sucked it up. He was not going to have the upper hand.
I recommend the same to you. Even if she says the most petty/passive-aggressive thing, be nothing but kind to her, using phrases that have no double meanings. And then go home and scream into a pillow if you need to.
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