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I had a very close friend for years that I would see about once every 2 weeks and email 3-4 times a week. For years we had the greatest time emailing and talking about every topic under the sun. When not emailing we would have long lunches and great conversations.
In the final year of our friendship there was some conflict when I felt he did not show as much interest in our friendship as I did.
I'm wondering if the frequency was too much for him. It is possible to have too much of a thing you would otherwise enjoy in smaller doses. Nothing feels pleasant when you are forced into it.
The frequency you are describing is quite "involved." It is possible that at certain stages of his life where maybe he didn't have much going on, that was an okay frequency. But we all get busy. We all go through hard times, or times when we want to do something else, or times when we have our attention divided in a lot of places. If during those times, rather than letting the relationship flex and breathe, you decided to pour on the pressure (which is how I'm reading the "conflict" about him not showing "as much interest"), it may have turned it from a pleasant thing he found enjoyable to an expectation that came with a lot of pressure, so he was left with no choice but to end it entirely.
Perhaps he would've preferred to stay friends and just not have contact so frequently, but it appears when things started going that way, instead of allowing it to happen and be mutual (this is really no different than the old "he's just not that into you" argument), you had to force it.
I would leave things be and learn a lesson for next time.
Sending an email declaring an end to a friendship is pretty childish.
I'd have to say I've never lost a friend. I have grown apart from friends, both in distance and relationship, which causes us to talk less and less throughout the years, but there has never been a "we can no longer be friends" discussion.
I think this would only happen if one person felt the other said or did something that was against what they think/believe/morality.
I've not talked to friends for years, and then I get a message or phone call and we're back picking up where we left off. We don't have to tell each other our deepest secrets, and we don't even talk about why we didn't talk for years or months. Who cares. People are people, let them be who they are. Friendships are fluid, not something that just starts and abruptly stops.
I wouldn't be friends with someone so petty and childish in the first place.
I had a very close friend for years that I would see about once every 2 weeks and email 3-4 times a week. For years we had the greatest time emailing and talking about every topic under the sun. When not emailing we would have long lunches and great conversations.
In the final year of our friendship there was some conflict when I felt he did not show as much interest in our friendship as I did.
One day out of the blue he sent an email and asked me to stop calling and emailing and that our friendship was over. Up to now six months later, I did not respondbut think maybe now that my head is clear and have time to think about it, maybe I should email him and discuss the situation.
If it is email or in person, if someone says they want to end a friendship, would you try to fight to save it, or do what I did and just not respond and move on?
It took you 6 months to have a clear head and time to think? I would have responded to him right then and there when he first emailed you, not 6 months later. I would move on. Six months have passed by and he hasn't reached out to you. I have ended friendships and sometimes months later the person would email me or call me. I moved on and didn't respond.
I don't know what happened between you and your friend, but whatever it was you said to him, it hit him hard.
"I felt he did not show as much interest in our friendship as I did."
You sound like a (overly needy-type) female. Bigturn off!!
What did you expect from such a declaration?
Sorry, but that's not exactly a typical guy/guy friendship subject or way of handling things.
Even if you felt like that, you shouldn't have voiced it to him.
BTW, if you felt like that enough to feel like spewing it, YOU should have been the one to cut it off or slowly fade away.
I believe the OP is male. It may not be a "typical" guy way of handling it, but guys come in all flavors and thankfully, a variety of behaviors. It's not just women who are needy!
It took you 6 months to have a clear head and time to think? I would have responded to him right then and there when he first emailed you, not 6 months later. I would move on. Six months have passed by and he hasn't reached out to you. I have ended friendships and sometimes months later the person would email me or call me. I moved on and didn't respond.
I don't know what happened between you and your friend, but whatever it was you said to him, it hit him hard.
Friends can be very "brutal" at times! Then you start to question your "friendship"! This is what they think about me? I thought we were "cool"!
Good friends keep you real.
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