Grandma is driving me nuts about getting a job

[longnecker]

My suggestion OP Print out your original post. Hand it to GranMa and talk it out.

[cheryjohns]

When I lived with my grandmother, we butted heads constantly. Both stubborn. She viewed the world as it had been and made what she thought were good suggestions for me. Remember that she loves you. Meet her for lunch after you move and tell her how grateful you are to her - both for the room and for loving you. She will get over it.

Sometimes it looks like parents or grandparents want their offspring to have less than they could. In reality, it's fear of the unknown. You, married to that youth minister and living in a double-wide, constitutes "safe"- because it feels familiar to her.

[Merjolie8]

I don't get why many think that just because they struggled, everybody else should too. If not, they are entitled, whiny babies and such.

In OP's case, I'm with her. She's finishing her degree, has a job lined up, doesn't need the money. I absolutely agree that concentrating in her studies is the best right now. I won't talk about the trip since it's a gift. What purpose would a minimum wage job serve? Wouldn't that time be better spent studying? I think so.

Now, if her story was that she's missing in the campus fun because of having a job, my answer would differ.

OP, can you get your parents (or some other adult that the GM respects) to intervene? It seems silly to move out now. You are 3 - 4 months away from graduation.

I do think is also generational. Since you're the second person in the family to graduate college, the family is not used to see studying as work, therefore, she "needs" a job. Grandma needs to change her way of thinking, but unfortunately for you, OP, she won't listen to you.

[TheCatsMeoww]

I skipped most of the replies, but have a few comments to contribute.

My sweet Grandma was the most amazing person, but 2 things drove me crazy. The first is that she never wanted any of us to drive on the highway, even if avoiding it took an hour longer. The second is that every cent was supposed to be socked away. Once, my husband was out of work, I was barely keeping our lights on and groceries in the kitchen, and I sent away for some UPC refund. I can't remember how much but it was like $20. I mentioned it to her and she was like "oh, save every cent!" I thought that was pretty funny, considering we needed things like milk and gas.

OP, you won't convince Grandma you don't need a job. It really doesn't matter if you sit her down and explain your course load. What she understands is that everyone that isn't retired needs to work, period. Working means survival, and she wants you to survive. To her, that is it. It is a depression era thing, usually. Working means food and basic human needs. So you need to decide if you can live with the nagging, or if you are going to try to rent a room somewhere for the next few months.

Personally, I want my children to concentrate on school during school. Summers, heck yes, time to work. But during school? I want them to study, to do extra curricular activities, volunteer. All of that looks great to colleges, and helps develop talents. My oldest didn't have a job until she was 18, and because of her major cannot work during school. Her classes are like one credit each and she has to take so many that to work on top of it would be extremely difficult. She gets enough in scholarships, grants and student loans to make that work. She'll work in the summers.

My twins are just able to get jobs now. What I want them to do during school is concentrate on football, baseball, cheerleading, track...getting A's and B's...volunteering in the community. Do we have a lot of money? Certainly not. But colleges look for those things. When I was a senior in high school, I had two jobs, got decent grades, and was in plays...so I know balance...work obviously is very valuable...but I think that it isn't the ONLY way to get through school. One of my girls is an incredible tumbler. If she worked instead of spending many days a week on her skill, she'd have more in student loans because she wouldn't get a scholarship. So, although unpaid, eventually it will pay off.

As far as Disney, have a magical time! Part of my former life (am disabled) was planning Disney trips for people...and I worked taking dining, child activities and spa reservations for a couple of years for Disney. I still have nightmares imagining people yelling at me over Be Our Guest, LOL. I've eaten almost everywhere and stayed at literally every Disney hotel...except AofA. Disney memories last forever.

You only have one life. That doesn't mean be irresponsible constantly, but maybe...just maybe...a little frivolity over practicality isn't so bad. Is it smarter to save the money instead of going on the trip? Yeah...it would pay a whole month or two of bills. Which will you remember more? Kind of like a wedding...is is smarter to save the money and spend it on something else? Yes, and yet the choice to have a big wedding is a common choice. Life isn't always about taking the safest, smartest route all the time.

OP, congratulations on your impending graduation!