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Old 03-23-2014, 12:26 AM
 
Location: USA
1,589 posts, read 2,129,535 times
Reputation: 1678

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Quote:
Originally Posted by SwimGal View Post
When you meet new people (other people's friends, family, etc), are you gushingly nice, or are you polite but hold back a bit?

I'm polite when I meet people, but I don't get too close too soon, because I need to scope each person out until I know they're someone who I can be myself with. I think that's normal.

But, I have been told by others that I come across as aloof sometimes and they think I don't like them, because I'm not overly warm or welcoming towards new people. For me, I would rather hold back a bit and know who I'm dealing with than be an "everything to everyone" type because I want everyone to like me.

I don't want to be cold towards others, but I just don't feel comfortable being someone's best friend right off the bat...
You are aloof. But you're protecting yourself, so it makes sense. So the choices are: continue being aloof and protect yourself or take a risk and be more open right at the start... My advice: you can't please all anyways, someone will find fault no matter which way you do it. Just do the way it feels comfortable for you. Afterall, what do you think others are doing? Are they so friendly because they are pushing themselves out of their comfort zone or simply friendly because it comes easily and naturally for them (and they expect others to be the same way?)

Also, pay attention to your facial expressions and make sure to keep a light face, with a possible slight smile (or lips curving upwards a bit) (that makes you look friendlier). So that if anyone wants to approach you, they wouldn't be too scared
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Old 03-23-2014, 10:32 AM
 
Location: northwest Illinois
2,331 posts, read 3,205,479 times
Reputation: 2462
Quote:
Originally Posted by LoveWisdom View Post
You are aloof. But you're protecting yourself, so it makes sense. So the choices are: continue being aloof and protect yourself or take a risk and be more open right at the start... My advice: you can't please all anyways, someone will find fault no matter which way you do it. Just do the way it feels comfortable for you. Afterall, what do you think others are doing? Are they so friendly because they are pushing themselves out of their comfort zone or simply friendly because it comes easily and naturally for them (and they expect others to be the same way?)

Also, pay attention to your facial expressions and make sure to keep a light face, with a possible slight smile (or lips curving upwards a bit) (that makes you look friendlier). So that if anyone wants to approach you, they wouldn't be too scared
Excellent advice but if you DON'T want to be bothered, like me then stay silent, keep a cold gaze and carry a large tool in your hands.
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Old 03-23-2014, 12:10 PM
 
1,276 posts, read 1,927,293 times
Reputation: 3444
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwimGal View Post
See I like to hear about what people do for a living. It's so interesting to me. I like hearing about why they picked the career they're in and how that rounds them out as a person (or not). Love that kind of thing.
For me, I would rather hear about how someone solved a problem, have they travelled somewhere interesting lately, what have they learned from these experiences, etc. Sadly, a lot of people ask what someone does for a living to size them up, guess how much money they make, and determine their "class" among society. I am not saying that's why you like to talk about jobs---it's just something I've noticed in society at large.
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Old 05-29-2014, 01:34 PM
Status: "Wishing all the best of health and peace!" (set 10 days ago)
 
43,459 posts, read 44,172,248 times
Reputation: 20474
Quote:
Originally Posted by SwimGal View Post
When you meet new people (other people's friends, family, etc), are you gushingly nice, or are you polite but hold back a bit?

I'm polite when I meet people, but I don't get too close too soon, because I need to scope each person out until I know they're someone who I can be myself with. I think that's normal.

But, I have been told by others that I come across as aloof sometimes and they think I don't like them, because I'm not overly warm or welcoming towards new people. For me, I would rather hold back a bit and know who I'm dealing with than be an "everything to everyone" type because I want everyone to like me.

I don't want to be cold towards others, but I just don't feel comfortable being someone's best friend right off the bat...
I am probably more like you polite but tend to hold back a bit unless it is a new person that I have heard about through someone else and then I might be gushingly nice.
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