Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The way I see it is how can I ever trust him with plans we make in the future. I think something like this especially where there is monetary loss and a loss of trust is a big issue when it comes to friendships. It is obviously going to effect our friendship negatively down the line in the future.
well, you should probably not plan any trips in the future with him. that much is clear.
I still don't understand how anyone can spend $4000 in advance booking fees for a 28 day domestic road trip. Please explain? What the heck is the airfare for anyway?
Mod cut: Orphaned. We are flying to a city in the Midwest first and driving from there. And I don't recall this thread being in the travel section. Funny how you people never even advised on the crux of the problem. Instead you all decided to ramble on about nonsense.
Problem solved anyways now move on or continue to ramble on but I'm done with this thread.
As someone who has done many road trips (and planned them out to a degree; what days to be in which cities to attend what events) I don't see how you get 30 pages for a 28 day trip. Do you write in large font size?
I concur with cpg and jp and others. The tone of your responses and context (you can get him a job at the place you work, you know he's got financial problems and have helped him with them but then you're surprised he can't pay) makes me wonder if we're all missing something here, because, it reads more like the guy is your kept 'boyfriend' or your co-dependent sycophant and is trying to break free.
I would lose that money because I have already booked everything last week. That money is no longer in my account and the cancellation policies are very rigid.
I can go alone it's an option, and maybe something I should consider but it will also be more expensive for me. It's not about interest, he talks about it all the damn time and doesn't shut up. I am just a very good planner and I am driven I make things happen. That's why most people don't do things because they aren't driven they just like to talk. You cannot efficiently do a 28 day trip and see the things that I will be seeing on this trip without planning it. It's just the way things are, and this is the smarter way of doing it anyway. Had everything gone to plan my trip would have been much much cheaper than just doing it spontaneously.
Wait, you fronted the 2 grand for him? I don't understand. Why didn't you ask him for the money up front?
Your friend sounds like a deadbeat. This is my personal experience with many Americans. They talk and are all smiles but it's not entirely the truth.
I completely understand and relate to your extroverted explanation. But hopefully you realize this also brings issues on ourselves. By worrying/depending on others well being, you are putting your happiness in others hands. And this leads to me sometimes resenting them, and ultimately anger at myself.
A trip/event/night with 5 fair/helpful people is unbeatable. But as soon as 1 person starts cutting corners and being selfish, it ruins the whole experience. Everything needs to be equal, so if he was borrowing money then he should have been doing the planning etc. Sounds like you did everything and he is just tagging along. Not a good starting point for a trip. You guys are not on equal footing and this will cause problems.
Two months is enough time to gather interest from other people. I wouldn't begrudge my friend for looking for a job or not being able to go. He was kind enough to let you know well in advance (which some wouldn't bother to do). It sounds like he needs to find a job and I think you would want him to be understanding if the situation was reversed.
I ran into similar trip issues when planning last summer in Europe. Everyone was interested but no commits ever came forward so eventually I just gave up. Everyone was too busy with their cars, trips to Vegas and saving up for a new apartment. It sucks not having your friends because when you return home, you can't share those moments and they can't relate to the experience. Left explaining the wild times to a blank stare.
The most pathetic part is hearing "Yeah, but what about this summer dude? We should go". I just roll my eyes. I've been to Europe 2 times in the past 3 Summers, no way I have the funds for a third trip. Kinda pisses me off. Those guys will never leave North America. Maybe once I am a permanent resident in Europe. Yawn
Don't end the friendship. Go by yourself and have fun, cause YOU are awesome. And never, never, ever take him on a trip with you again....even if he begs.........well maybe if he begs a LOT...and it is YEARS later.....you can agree but only if he reimburses you for the loss of THIS trip!................So I doubt he will ask you again.
and only take advice that appeals to you and ignore the rest. I don't understand why people are attacking you, your question was how to treat the friend and it is ok if they give their opinions about that, "He should have let you know earlier" or " He did let you know early enough, now suck it up" "this is what happens when you make plans with others, sometimes they let you down" , but they don't need to play psychologist!
Chalk it up to experience and move on.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
