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I take care not to block aisles for any reason. It's always people with carts, stopping to gab with each other, who do that.
I agree with this statement. People chit-chatting face to face are more apt to block an aisle in a store. It is far easier to navigate around someone attending to a smartphone than try to interrupt two or more people in conversation.
Okay. But here's the question. Why was it so important to check your Facebook page? That's essentially the crux of the issue. It's a compulsion people have, rather than a real reason, with the result being walling oneself off from others. How hard could it have been to engage in conversation?
Because I live 2,000 miles from my hometown, and I like to keep tabs on my loved ones. Sure, I could have waited until we went out the door, but like I said, people were engaged in conversations all around me that had nothing to do with me. It was a convenient moment for me to do so.
You would have preferred that I sit there listening attentively (in the dark, where no one could see me) to what were essentially personal conversations or injected myself into them for ****s and giggles in order to fit your personal definition of what is right? I fail to see why remaining completely engaged with my dining companions at all times in a large group is a requirement of etiquette. I was hardly "walling myself off" from others. There was no one looking to engage me in conversation at the moment, and I wasn't about to interrupt anyone or insert myself into a scenario.
10 years ago, I would have just sat there in the dark until there was an opening for me to join the flow of things again. But now I've got a smart phone, so I can entertain myself a little until that moment arrives. It's not the worst thing to ever happen to civilization.
I don't bust out my phone in the middle of conversations with other people unless 1) I'm really really drunk and my ADD has kicked in; 2) I'm looking up a fact to support whatever we're talking about; 3) one of my elderly parents is calling. But if everyone is engaged with other things, I really fail to see how there is a problem with me checking updates on my phone.
Here's my question: Why do you care so much about people being out hanging on a railing with their smartphones? Since time immemorial people have taken 5 from whatever function they were attending to have a smoke, make out with another guest, get some air, be alone. Why are you so bothered that in this case a phone is involved? I could see being appalled by someone ignoring a date sitting across from them so they can text a friend, but who exactly is being hurt at a wedding?
Yes, smartphones are used at inappropriate times quite a bit. It's a new technology - society will eventually establish accepted rules, as it happens with any technology. Look at what a hard time we had when cars were introduced - people were dying all over the place. But your original post reeks of "Things are different now. I don't approve. Why can't people act exactly the way I want them to?"
You're a writer - come up with a book on cell phone etiquette if you want to shape things. That's well within your ability.
I feel like there's a lot of romanticizing of regular human interactions in this thread because we live in a time where people can completely bypass them altogether if they so choose by pulling a small computer out of their pocket and engaging with that instead.
So you can't think of how someone diddling on their phone can't impact other people negatively?
I can, awhile back I was standing behind a young woman whom I thought was at the drop off window of a pharmacy located inside a supermarket. Turns out she wasn't in line, she just decided to start texting and was oblivious to the fact that she decided to stand where the line is.
Same thing happened in the post office, the clerk had to yell out 3 times "NEXT" to this woman who was so engrossed in her phone, finally the person behind her went....LOL.
My favorites are the ones with the shopping carts who are so busy with their phone they're unaware of others around them who need to get by.
You have to text in a store, than find a spot where you're not impacting other people.
Soooo true. People are oblivious to the fact they are annoying and impacting others with their rude phone use. I'm surprised that there aren't more people defending the phone users. If someone's at a party or wedding and wants to check their phone, I don't see the issue. But when it intrudes on others, it's a problem:
Movie theaters - if you can't go two hours without checking your phone, you're no better than a drug addict and something is wrong with you. Do you morons (you know who you are) know that your stupid little phone lights up the whole theater? And for the normal people, look and see how many phones go on once the credits start rolling. Amazing.
Stores - it's extremely rude to be on your phone when going to the cashier while on your phone. They hold up the line and I feel sorry for the cashiers that have to serve these rude idiots. I've been in a couple of places that now have signs saying they won't serve people on their phones. I watched in amusement once when a cashier at one of these places dismissed a woman who was on her phone and served the person behind her instead. The phone woman was visibly upset when told she had to put her phone away to be served. Gee, sorry to intrude on your addiction.
Driving - it doesn't matter if it's against the law. People still do it. I've had people block traffic in a parking lot because of cell phone use.
I just got a smart phone about a month ago. Yes they are nice. Yes they are handy, but it's not my master and it doesn't run my life. I had a friend just ask me "now what would you do without your smartphone? ". My response was "uh, go on living?"
5 yrs ago at many dinner tables- on a holiday, a cell phone wasnt allowed, now all generations seem to have one..
these phones are peoples lifeline,,,
ive learned to really like my i-phone,,its a great camera, and takes good video,,,its gps,,,, connects to internet,,,,even has a compass..
oh, and it is still a phone too..
at family gatherings in the last few years, people are showing others pictures, sending funny youtube videos,,and also,,showing videos of their kids,,,,etc..
yep ,,we are phone-people , or better put- instant information people
This is one of the most depressing responses I have ever read. And it makes me even more resistant to this freakin' faux-info phenom.
Because I live 2,000 miles from my hometown, and I like to keep tabs on my loved ones. Sure, I could have waited until we went out the door, but like I said, people were engaged in conversations all around me that had nothing to do with me. It was a convenient moment for me to do so.
You would have preferred that I sit there listening attentively (in the dark, where no one could see me) to what were essentially personal conversations or injected myself into them for ****s and giggles in order to fit your personal definition of what is right? I fail to see why remaining completely engaged with my dining companions at all times in a large group is a requirement of etiquette. I was hardly "walling myself off" from others. There was no one looking to engage me in conversation at the moment, and I wasn't about to interrupt anyone or insert myself into a scenario.
10 years ago, I would have just sat there in the dark until there was an opening for me to join the flow of things again. But now I've got a smart phone, so I can entertain myself a little until that moment arrives. It's not the worst thing to ever happen to civilization.
I don't bust out my phone in the middle of conversations with other people unless 1) I'm really really drunk and my ADD has kicked in; 2) I'm looking up a fact to support whatever we're talking about; 3) one of my elderly parents is calling. But if everyone is engaged with other things, I really fail to see how there is a problem with me checking updates on my phone.
Here's my question: Why do you care so much about people being out hanging on a railing with their smartphones? Since time immemorial people have taken 5 from whatever function they were attending to have a smoke, make out with another guest, get some air, be alone. Why are you so bothered that in this case a phone is involved? I could see being appalled by someone ignoring a date sitting across from them so they can text a friend, but who exactly is being hurt at a wedding?
Yes, smartphones are used at inappropriate times quite a bit. It's a new technology - society will eventually establish accepted rules, as it happens with any technology. Look at what a hard time we had when cars were introduced - people were dying all over the place. But your original post reeks of "Things are different now. I don't approve. Why can't people act exactly the way I want them to?"
You're a writer - come up with a book on cell phone etiquette if you want to shape things. That's well within your ability.
Why do I care? It's not like I exactly seek out things to annoy me. But at the same time, a person at a social occasion pulling out his mobile phone to Facebook or check basketball scores or play solitaire is essentially telling everyone else that either they're not important or the occasion is unimportant. Mind you, I'm not even talking about a discreet glance. I'm talking about people sitting in a chair and diddling with the thing for long stretches of time.
This is a forum on relationships after all, and it is filled to the rafters with people who seem to lack fundamental social awareness. They are constantly asking questions on why a social situation went sour. What's the proper thing to do in a situation? How come it's so hard to make friends? How come I don't get invited to parties? Yet this issue is a perfect example of people not really understanding how their actions influence a social situation, instead wanting to defend what is really antisocial behavior. So let me help out here: At a social occasion, whether it's a wedding or a dinner party or whatever, fiddling with one's smart phone means you have checked out of whatever's going on.
The items I highlighted pretty much underscore my point.
I could have waited until we went out the door Yes, you could have waited until you got out the door, for you just told everybody at the table that Facebook was a higher priority to you than what was going on at the table. Hey, I Facebook. But there's bupkis on Facebook that can't wait until I get home. Those cat videos and cute photos of someone's kids can wait. There is absolutely nothing on Facebook that is urgent.
I was hardly "walling myself off" from others. There was no one looking to engage me in conversation at the moment, and I wasn't about to interrupt anyone or insert myself into a scenario. Evidently others saw it differently. By your account, they noticed, found it rude, and called the evening to an abrupt end.
I can entertain myself a little until that moment arrives. That's precisely it. You are telling them that whatever's on your phone is more entertaining than they are. No, you didn't say it in so many words. But you really didn't have to.
my ADD has kicked in. I think the ADD excuse has gotten tired. It gets bandied about a lot to excuse lack of self-control. What it really means is that one isn't really interested enough in what's going on and seeks something more compelling.
To be sure, there are ways to take a break from the conversation. The old standby, the smoke break, was always popular. Or excusing oneself from the table to go to the restroom. Or excusing yourself to briefly say hello to an old acquaintance across the room. Or stepping outside for some air. But the difference between those things and consulting your smartphone is that you are not sitting at the table essentially telling your companions that they aren't good company.
A few months ago, a woman I didn't know came up to me in the grocery store and started fussing at me about texting in the store while people are trying to shop.
I wasn't texting ... I was on the store's app checking items off my shopping list as I added them to my cart.
It's no wonder I'm starting to like my phone far more than many people I encounter.
Were you blocking the aisle? I don't care if people text or not or are on their phones, just don't be oblivious to others around you.
I agree with this statement. People chit-chatting face to face are more apt to block an aisle in a store. It is far easier to navigate around someone attending to a smartphone than try to interrupt two or more people in conversation.
Maybe in Atkinson, NH you see people chit chatting face to face in the supermarket.
I can tell you in more urban areas that ranges from rare to nonexistent.
What you do see is people on their phones or staring down into their phones oblivious to where they positioned themselves and their shopping cart in regards to other people.
And even if two people were chatting they're not looking down, the ones on the phone aren't as aware as someone approaching or trying to get by them. Because they're so entranced with staring down at the phone.
I think Threestep's idea is a great one and not at all unreasonable. I'm going to try it. If you ever come by my house in the future, I'll quickly be minus a guest.
I find it incredibly rude to your guests, but that's likely a discussion for another thread.
Once while near the end of a friend's birthday dinner, I dared to check my facebook page - it was very dark in the restaurant and everyone had paired off into conversations as things wound down, and I was at loose ends with no one to talk to, and no reason to insert myelf into someone else's conversation. The friend became offended and said "Facebook. Let's go." and ended the evening. Apparently, I should have just sat there in the darkness until everyone was through. Amusingly, this is the same friend that once insisted I hold her phone and check her in at the places we passed on a road trip at 3 in the morning while she drove at unsafe speeds on mountain roads.
There's a time and a place for someone to be on their smartphone, but really the only person who can determine that is the person in possession of the phone.
Technology has become a great excuse for people to pass judgement on others while ignoring their own rude behavior.
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