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"If you want real support let me know but i am not going to bars with you anymore. I am seeing a pattern that has destroyed others repeat itself and I'm not going to encourage it or enable it. Believe me this is a tough thing for me to put out there but I have to not only for you but for me as well because I am not comfortable watching you destroying your life."
Dunno what is going to come of this, I may even regret writing it in the morning but..I dunno. I'm out of options and he refuses to let anyone help him.
I think a little "more" might have helped, maybe explain why you think he is destroying his life so he will have a better understanding where you are coming from. He might not see it as "destroying his life" and then be pissed when he reads it and blow it off or blow up on you. But if you explained the ways he is hurting himself it will give him a better understanding and therefore a probably a better chance at accepting what you said and/or seeking help. Remember, he doesn't "see" his addiction like you "see" it.
I think a little "more" might have helped, maybe explain why you think he is destroying his life so he will have a better understanding where you are coming from. He might not see it as "destroying his life" and then be pissed when he reads it and blow it off or blow up on you. But if you explained the ways he is hurting himself it will give him a better understanding and therefore a probably a better chance at accepting what you said and/or seeking help. Remember, he doesn't "see" his addiction like you "see" it.
It's a conversation we have had time and time again. This guy is an attorney and very intelligent, he knows exactly where I'm getting at and I'm sure I'm not the first one to say it to him.
Just woke up, got a bunch of text messages from him. So far I've been referred to acting like Jim Jones (Google him, I've never been referred to a cult/mass suicide leader before, it's pretty interesting) and that I should get a grip. Honestly...I expected worse.
Just woke up, got a bunch of text messages from him. So far I've been referred to acting like Jim Jones (Google him, I've never been referred to a cult/mass suicide leader before, it's pretty interesting) and that I should get a grip. Honestly...I expected worse.
Wow. Typical addict behavior. Keep your distance.
And learn to laugh about it. The things he says will only get more outrageous.
But wow. Jim Jones is a new comparison, for sure... LOL.
Addicts get angry, it's normal. If he decides to recover one day, he'll likely remember that you were one of the few who chose to take a stand against it and be grateful for that.
"If you want real support let me know but i am not going to bars with you anymore. I am seeing a pattern that has destroyed others repeat itself and I'm not going to encourage it or enable it. Believe me this is a tough thing for me to put out there but I have to not only for you but for me as well because I am not comfortable watching you destroying your life."
Dunno what is going to come of this, I may even regret writing it in the morning but..I dunno. I'm out of options and he refuses to let anyone help him.
You told him how you feel and I doubt this is the first time you've done that. He's a grown man and well aware of his addictions and behaviors. It's painful to watch someone do that, isn't it? You feel helpless, want to shake them out of their haze. However, you can't go down the drain with them. Stay true to you and BTW, you're a great friend...you' are honest with him, don't let him guilt you. I hope he'll get help, it's all up to him.
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