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Old 03-25-2014, 09:23 PM
 
101 posts, read 99,028 times
Reputation: 94

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"If you want real support let me know but i am not going to bars with you anymore. I am seeing a pattern that has destroyed others repeat itself and I'm not going to encourage it or enable it. Believe me this is a tough thing for me to put out there but I have to not only for you but for me as well because I am not comfortable watching you destroying your life."

Dunno what is going to come of this, I may even regret writing it in the morning but..I dunno. I'm out of options and he refuses to let anyone help him.
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Old 03-25-2014, 09:41 PM
 
13,677 posts, read 13,587,189 times
Reputation: 39892
I think you did the right thing. But expect blowback from your friend. Just tell him you'll chat with him after he's had time to think it over.
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Old 03-26-2014, 12:04 AM
 
256 posts, read 273,656 times
Reputation: 710
I think a little "more" might have helped, maybe explain why you think he is destroying his life so he will have a better understanding where you are coming from. He might not see it as "destroying his life" and then be pissed when he reads it and blow it off or blow up on you. But if you explained the ways he is hurting himself it will give him a better understanding and therefore a probably a better chance at accepting what you said and/or seeking help. Remember, he doesn't "see" his addiction like you "see" it.
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Old 03-26-2014, 12:08 AM
 
10,813 posts, read 8,059,843 times
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Good for your own well-being. Won't affect your friend's in the least.
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Old 03-26-2014, 03:19 AM
 
101 posts, read 99,028 times
Reputation: 94
Quote:
Originally Posted by transdimensionalhottie View Post
I think a little "more" might have helped, maybe explain why you think he is destroying his life so he will have a better understanding where you are coming from. He might not see it as "destroying his life" and then be pissed when he reads it and blow it off or blow up on you. But if you explained the ways he is hurting himself it will give him a better understanding and therefore a probably a better chance at accepting what you said and/or seeking help. Remember, he doesn't "see" his addiction like you "see" it.
It's a conversation we have had time and time again. This guy is an attorney and very intelligent, he knows exactly where I'm getting at and I'm sure I'm not the first one to say it to him.
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Old 03-26-2014, 03:20 AM
 
101 posts, read 99,028 times
Reputation: 94
Just woke up, got a bunch of text messages from him. So far I've been referred to acting like Jim Jones (Google him, I've never been referred to a cult/mass suicide leader before, it's pretty interesting) and that I should get a grip. Honestly...I expected worse.
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Old 03-26-2014, 08:04 AM
 
13,677 posts, read 13,587,189 times
Reputation: 39892
Quote:
Originally Posted by BornOver View Post
Just woke up, got a bunch of text messages from him. So far I've been referred to acting like Jim Jones (Google him, I've never been referred to a cult/mass suicide leader before, it's pretty interesting) and that I should get a grip. Honestly...I expected worse.
Wow. Typical addict behavior. Keep your distance.

And learn to laugh about it. The things he says will only get more outrageous.

But wow. Jim Jones is a new comparison, for sure... LOL.
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Old 03-26-2014, 09:58 AM
 
3,072 posts, read 4,276,420 times
Reputation: 6512
Addicts get angry, it's normal. If he decides to recover one day, he'll likely remember that you were one of the few who chose to take a stand against it and be grateful for that.
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Old 03-26-2014, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Terra
2,826 posts, read 3,214,581 times
Reputation: 3340
What do bars have to do with it? Is he an alcoholic?
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Old 03-26-2014, 02:22 PM
 
698 posts, read 436,329 times
Reputation: 1092
Quote:
Originally Posted by BornOver View Post
"If you want real support let me know but i am not going to bars with you anymore. I am seeing a pattern that has destroyed others repeat itself and I'm not going to encourage it or enable it. Believe me this is a tough thing for me to put out there but I have to not only for you but for me as well because I am not comfortable watching you destroying your life."

Dunno what is going to come of this, I may even regret writing it in the morning but..I dunno. I'm out of options and he refuses to let anyone help him.
You told him how you feel and I doubt this is the first time you've done that. He's a grown man and well aware of his addictions and behaviors. It's painful to watch someone do that, isn't it? You feel helpless, want to shake them out of their haze. However, you can't go down the drain with them. Stay true to you and BTW, you're a great friend...you' are honest with him, don't let him guilt you. I hope he'll get help, it's all up to him.
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